Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 324147 times)

mary w

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #500 on: June 17, 2016, 01:01:54 PM »
Ah, family vacation homes.  Apparently the cause of lots of inheritance drama.  No inheritance drama of any kind in my family, but my BIL had a doosey. 

There were 3 siblings:  older sister, middle brother and younger brother (my BIL).  When father died he left significant assets most of which were easily divisible.  But there was a vacation cabin that older sister and younger brother both wanted.  Sister thought she have first dibs bc she was oldest.  She also though she should pay an apparently random figure that she thought it was worth.  Younger brother guessed that it was worth 1/3 more and wasn't willing to let her have it just bc she was older.

There was briefly a proposal by older sister for all 3 to jointly own the cabin.  That was a no-go.  Younger brother had done all the work opening and closing the cabin for years (father died in his 90s) and wasn't willing do that for the rest of his life while sister got a free ride.  He also knew that owning anything together would be a constant fight over everything. 

Sister tried to drag the whole thing out with multiple calls to the attorney costing the estate money figuring eventually they would give in.  Younger brother wouldn't give in.  He had two proposals:  both submit sealed bids on the property and highest bid gets it or get an appraisal to set value and then flip a coin.  Eventually all three agreed agreed to flipping a coin. (Remember there is a middle brother who wasn't interested in owing the property.)  Professional appraisal come in around where younger brother guessed and significantly more than older sister wanted to pay.  When she lost the coin toss the real drama started!  She cried to every one about losing the cabin.  Her daughters called their cousins (younger brothers daughters) bc he was being mean to his sister.  Older sister's daughters said they had fond memories of summers at the cabin (as if their younger cousins didn't!).  Lots more pressure and drama that I don't recall the details of.  But younger brother held fast...until middle brother retroactively decided that a coin toss wasn't the way to go.  Sister had worked her magic on him and he was always the people pleaser.

At the point younger brother gave in and gave up the cabin.  At least the estate got full value (it was actually in a trust).  Younger brother bought another vacation cabin in a different area.  I think everyone is speaking again but it was  a tough couple of years.

These were grown ass people.  Sister was probably 70 at the time and brothers in their 60s.



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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #501 on: June 17, 2016, 01:45:01 PM »
Ah, family vacation homes.  Apparently the cause of lots of inheritance drama.  No inheritance drama of any kind in my family, but my BIL had a doosey. 

There were 3 siblings:  older sister, middle brother and younger brother (my BIL).  When father died he left significant assets most of which were easily divisible.  But there was a vacation cabin that older sister and younger brother both wanted.  Sister thought she have first dibs bc she was oldest.  She also though she should pay an apparently random figure that she thought it was worth.  Younger brother guessed that it was worth 1/3 more and wasn't willing to let her have it just bc she was older.

There was briefly a proposal by older sister for all 3 to jointly own the cabin.  That was a no-go.  Younger brother had done all the work opening and closing the cabin for years (father died in his 90s) and wasn't willing do that for the rest of his life while sister got a free ride.  He also knew that owning anything together would be a constant fight over everything. 

Sister tried to drag the whole thing out with multiple calls to the attorney costing the estate money figuring eventually they would give in.  Younger brother wouldn't give in.  He had two proposals:  both submit sealed bids on the property and highest bid gets it or get an appraisal to set value and then flip a coin.  Eventually all three agreed agreed to flipping a coin. (Remember there is a middle brother who wasn't interested in owing the property.)  Professional appraisal come in around where younger brother guessed and significantly more than older sister wanted to pay.  When she lost the coin toss the real drama started!  She cried to every one about losing the cabin.  Her daughters called their cousins (younger brothers daughters) bc he was being mean to his sister.  Older sister's daughters said they had fond memories of summers at the cabin (as if their younger cousins didn't!).  Lots more pressure and drama that I don't recall the details of.  But younger brother held fast...until middle brother retroactively decided that a coin toss wasn't the way to go.  Sister had worked her magic on him and he was always the people pleaser.

At the point younger brother gave in and gave up the cabin.  At least the estate got full value (it was actually in a trust).  Younger brother bought another vacation cabin in a different area.  I think everyone is speaking again but it was  a tough couple of years.

These were grown ass people.  Sister was probably 70 at the time and brothers in their 60s.

My grandparents, to the dismay of everyone (kids and grandkids) sold their place 4 and 6 years before they passed away. Second best decision they ever made, as now 2 kids own a place (one next door and one 15 miles up the same road) and a 3rd is trying to buy one 10 houses down--if that falls through, he might try to buy the original place!

Just a whole lot less drama. My in-laws on the other hand... what a cluster that is. Grandpa wants a place in the vacation spot where they've been renting for years, but can't afford it. So all the kids put in $5k each for the downpayment, and grandpa puts down either $5k or $10k. Then they split the housing payments equally, and pay $5 a night per person when they stay there.

Well grandpa dies. Grandma is a bitch, so is one of the aunts who is a teacher and single/no kids--she's up there the entire summer! If you want to go up there during the summer, you have to deal with her. My FIL has 2 kids, is trying to run a business, and his wife (daughter of the grandpa) has MS now (did I mention the house is a split level?). FIL wants to sell because when he can go up, he has to deal with his shitty SIL, and his wife (sister of SIL) can't really even  be there due to the stairs. The others don't want to sell--they'll give him his $5,000 back, but he's been making payments for 20 years!

I'll never buy any property that isn't a rental BUSINESS with anyone who isn't my wife.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #502 on: June 17, 2016, 02:16:52 PM »
My mother has COPD and doesn't have much time left with us. She's accepted the fact. On Sunday, I'm going to my parents' house and sitting with her; she wants me to help her write her will. I'm hoping she'll keep it simple and no twists. Otherwise you'll get an update on inheritance drama.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #503 on: June 17, 2016, 08:17:47 PM »
Sure, you can do that, but it's a fairly sure way to ensure drama. The people who are enjoying it now don't have to worry about upkeep or even treating it well, because it's never going to be theirs. The person paying for all of it doesn't get to enjoy it until someone else dies and they get what's left over at the end.

Remaindering was traditionally a good way for a man to pass property down to sons if his wife survived him; she would have a 'life estate' or a right to live on the property until she died, and it would automatically go to the sons after that without any danger that it would go to a new family if she re-married.
Yep.   I wasn't recommending it..especially for this scenario.  deadlymonkey wanted to know if it was possible, and it is.

It is a good plan for a disabled child, too, to have a life interest in living in a home, if a trustee is responsible for maintenance of the property, and then it passes (when the child dies) to the designated recipient.

Spiffsome

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #504 on: June 18, 2016, 06:09:07 PM »
Seriously - the lowest drama method is to give it away before you die. Want a family heirloom to go to someone special? Hand it to them while you can still remember who they are.

IAALBINYL (I am a lawyer but I'm not YOUR lawyer): another popular option in Australia and similar systems is joint tenancy - two people own the real estate as joint tenants, meaning that when one of them dies the other automatically becomes full owner. No wills, no way to contest anything.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #505 on: June 19, 2016, 07:27:58 AM »
My mother has COPD and doesn't have much time left with us. She's accepted the fact. On Sunday, I'm going to my parents' house and sitting with her; she wants me to help her write her will. I'm hoping she'll keep it simple and no twists. Otherwise you'll get an update on inheritance drama.

Have seen lots of patients including my grandad with end stage copd survive many years. 

Rubic

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #506 on: June 19, 2016, 09:35:14 AM »
Seriously - the lowest drama method is to give it away before you die. Want a family heirloom to go to someone special? Hand it to them while you can still remember who they are.

I can see myself someday -- as I approach my personal expiration date -- gifting cash/stocks to my heirs which won't exceed the maximum exclusion amount ($14,000 in 2015).  Even prior to that date -- for my nieces and nephews -- I'm considering offering them an IRA match to encourage them to save.

We're fortunate in that we have had no drama in my immediate family.  My brother and I will be our parents' executors and the other siblings are fine with that.  I even tried to get my father to exclude me from the inheritance (since I don't need the money), but he refused, thinking it would be unseemly.

I suppose being financially independent helps to insulate you from the inheritance drama.  After lurking on this thread for the past few months, I realize how blessed our family has been to avoid the bad karma of fighting over an inheritance.

Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?

zolotiyeruki

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #507 on: June 19, 2016, 09:42:48 AM »
Seriously - the lowest drama method is to give it away before you die. Want a family heirloom to go to someone special? Hand it to them while you can still remember who they are.

I can see myself someday -- as I approach my personal expiration date -- gifting cash/stocks to my heirs which won't exceed the maximum exclusion amount ($14,000 in 2015).  Even prior to that date -- for my nieces and nephews -- I'm considering offering them an IRA match to encourage them to save.

We're fortunate in that we have had no drama in my immediate family.  My brother and I will be our parents' executors and the other siblings are fine with that.  I even tried to get my father to exclude me from the inheritance (since I don't need the money), but he refused, thinking it would be unseemly.

I suppose being financially independent helps to insulate you from the inheritance drama.  After lurking on this thread for the past few months, I realize how blessed our family has been to avoid the bad karma of fighting over an inheritance.

Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?
My grandparents gifted each grandkid some money for college, etc.  I love the idea, because gifts to the kids generally aren't (or shouldn't be) necessary, and the grandkids will have the benefit of compound interest more than the kids.

When my grandmother died, my dad was the executor, and AFAIK, there was zero drama.  Of course, my dad was already retired, and the others were very much self-sufficient.  I agree that being financially independent, or at least financially responsible, can certainly cut down on the drama.  My dad asked all the kids to submit their requests for sentimental items, and each person was expected to pay the estate market value for the object(s) they received.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #508 on: June 19, 2016, 02:31:13 PM »
Seriously - the lowest drama method is to give it away before you die. Want a family heirloom to go to someone special? Hand it to them while you can still remember who they are.

I can see myself someday -- as I approach my personal expiration date -- gifting cash/stocks to my heirs which won't exceed the maximum exclusion amount ($14,000 in 2015).  Even prior to that date -- for my nieces and nephews -- I'm considering offering them an IRA match to encourage them to save.

We're fortunate in that we have had no drama in my immediate family.  My brother and I will be our parents' executors and the other siblings are fine with that.  I even tried to get my father to exclude me from the inheritance (since I don't need the money), but he refused, thinking it would be unseemly.

I suppose being financially independent helps to insulate you from the inheritance drama.  After lurking on this thread for the past few months, I realize how blessed our family has been to avoid the bad karma of fighting over an inheritance.

Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?

There was minor drama when my grandma died, but it was pretty minor.  But there was also a generous gesture.  Grandma's health was just starting to decline when Husband and I happened to move to her city.  We were engaged, but not yet married.  grandma offered me a $400/mo to help her out a bit.  At first, this was a fair sum, and it included things like helping with some housework, grocery runs, picking up prescriptions, etc.  I lived with DH (then DF) and a roommate, and went to grandmas most days.  As she got more and more sick, it became a full time job.  I moved in with her because she couldn't be alone over night.  It went from grocery shopping to cleaning up after accidents.  I was happy to do it, but it truly was full time, to the point that I had to ask a one of her neighbors to sit with her if I had to run to the grocery store or pharmacy, as she really couldn't be alone at all.  She was adamant about not wanting to leave her home.  Of course this meant there was no way I could look for a job.  Husband and I were okay financially, but would have been more okay if I'd been working.  It didn't feel right to ask her for more money, so she continued to give me $400 per month.  None of there 3 children lived local.

Grandma got pretty unhappy, and the job turned rather unpleasant as she often lashed out, but it meant something to me to be able to help her, even though it was one of the most difficult things I've done. 

After she died, her 3 children decided to pay me some additional money from the estate, beyond the $400/mo I'd been getting.  I think it was a gesture of appreciation for what I did, since none of them were in a position to do so, and an acknowledgement that it was definitely more than a $400 job. 

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #509 on: June 19, 2016, 04:57:05 PM »
Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?

My husband's grandfather has a very generous pension and lives an extremely frugal life.  Since before I met my husband, his grandpa has given all of his kids and grandkids very generous gifts at Christmas (close to $1000 now, and I assume he gives the same amount to each person so that's between 10-20k a year).  Plus when he sold his house (probably worth about 100k) and moved into an apartment, he split the profits between all of his kids and grandkids again, giving each person several thousand dollars.  I don't think he has any assets left other than the pension, so I doubt there would be any inheritance when he dies.  I think he's doing a really cool thing! 

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #510 on: June 19, 2016, 05:44:04 PM »
Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?

Amazingly, I do. My housemate's uncle died childless and he showed me the will. It was the most complicated division I'd ever seen. Non-liquid assets, ten-way split, charities involved, delayed sell-off. My housemate was left a house full of his uncle's collectibles. I was convinced it was all going to go to heck in a handbasket. But it didn't. The family got together, helped him move into the house, peacefully took home some small possessions with sentimental value to each of them, and divided the rest of the assets with minimal drama.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #511 on: June 19, 2016, 08:53:09 PM »
My FIL died a couple years ago. His two kids each took a couple sentimental items, and the rest was sold and split. We're still waiting on the house sale to finally go through (selling to a cousin), but all repairs, maintenance, and insurance have been evenly split, and so will the proceeds.

Absolutely no drama, unless you count the "oh, you can have (some valuable thing)". "Oh no, I think it means more to you" type of drama.

I hope (and expect) my sisters to behave when our parents are gone as well.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #512 on: June 20, 2016, 05:38:29 AM »
Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?
When my Mom died, after things settled down, my sister and I went to our parents house and went through all Mom's things.  Our Dad couldn't handle doing that, he wanted us to do it.  We sorted everything, decided amiably about what went where (clothes, jewellery, etc.), took donations to the donation place, and left our Dad with a sense of peace.  We didn't argue at all.  We did the same after Dad died.  Both parents had wills (nice clear ones), so this was more the personal stuff.

We had had the advantage of watching grabby relatives take a lot of our Grandmother's stuff, and watched our uncle be mean to Mom at our Grandmother's funeral (no-one told her that Granny didn't want an open casket, her brother was so nasty she never spoke to him again), and we were both determined that we were not going down that path.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #513 on: June 20, 2016, 05:41:56 AM »
Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?
Yes. After my grandmother died, she split her money in half between her two kids.  Seems fair at face value, but Those of us who saw the years of hard effort and sacrifice that my mom had put in to care for her bedridden mother knew the "even split" was not equitable. My mom never said a bitter word about it.

The kind and generous part of the story is about my mom, who, like thousands of other people, don't talk about the inequity to their children or other family members. The only thing that would come from that would be that now our family would be mad at uncle's family and two sets of cousins would resent one another because of the "unfairness". We know my mom went above and beyond, and we just chalk that up to her being a very special person and we don't equate it to money.

Many of the horror stories above are about an older generation in a family, but somehow, the info is getting to the kids because someone is bitter. I can only advise to let it go, don't share the bitterness with your kids, and then it ends rather than starting a multi-generational war.

Here's to all the moms and dads that took an unfair situation and just let it die without telling their kids how poorly they had been treated. THATS the real gift of a kind and generous spirit!
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #514 on: June 20, 2016, 07:10:08 AM »
Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?
Here's to all the moms and dads that took an unfair situation and just let it die without telling their kids how poorly they had been treated. THATS the real gift of a kind and generous spirit!

Exactly right!

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #515 on: June 20, 2016, 07:23:23 AM »
In all honesty, you should feel grateful if there is "inheritance drama". Inheritance may as well be strange customs of an alien culture as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. My grandparents just died and they had retired to a trailer in Florida and then moved in with my aunt when they got too old and frail to take care of themselves anymore. No money to dish out. My family has ten children that were raised on one government employee income. I'm going to get jack squat when my father dies. If you have "inheritance drama", you are living the good life. Be thankful for it.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #516 on: June 20, 2016, 07:49:14 AM »
In all honesty, you should feel grateful if there is "inheritance drama". Inheritance may as well be strange customs of an alien culture as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. My grandparents just died and they had retired to a trailer in Florida and then moved in with my aunt when they got too old and frail to take care of themselves anymore. No money to dish out. My family has ten children that were raised on one government employee income. I'm going to get jack squat when my father dies. If you have "inheritance drama", you are living the good life. Be thankful for it.

While this is entirely 100% true.... the folks creating the drama are likely the ones that absolutely do not understand that.  I see it as "Yesterday, this money/stuff wasn't mine.  Today, I have a gift I didn't ask for that will remind me of a loved one."  Those that are the drama queens are the ones that think their gift "isn't enough."
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #517 on: June 20, 2016, 07:53:08 AM »
My mother has COPD and doesn't have much time left with us. She's accepted the fact. On Sunday, I'm going to my parents' house and sitting with her; she wants me to help her write her will. I'm hoping she'll keep it simple and no twists. Otherwise you'll get an update on inheritance drama.

Have seen lots of patients including my grandad with end stage copd survive many years.

Actually, it's not COPD but Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis. She was initially diagnosed COPD, then further testing revealed IPF. It has aggressively spread in the last year.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #518 on: June 20, 2016, 08:33:54 AM »
In all honesty, you should feel grateful if there is "inheritance drama". Inheritance may as well be strange customs of an alien culture as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. My grandparents just died and they had retired to a trailer in Florida and then moved in with my aunt when they got too old and frail to take care of themselves anymore. No money to dish out. My family has ten children that were raised on one government employee income. I'm going to get jack squat when my father dies. If you have "inheritance drama", you are living the good life. Be thankful for it.

Yep.  Buddy of mine will get the "inheritance" of no longer supporting his father when he goes.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #519 on: June 20, 2016, 09:31:24 AM »
In all honesty, you should feel grateful if there is "inheritance drama". Inheritance may as well be strange customs of an alien culture as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. My grandparents just died and they had retired to a trailer in Florida and then moved in with my aunt when they got too old and frail to take care of themselves anymore. No money to dish out. My family has ten children that were raised on one government employee income. I'm going to get jack squat when my father dies. If you have "inheritance drama", you are living the good life. Be thankful for it.

Inheritance isn't just about money, often people fight about stuff of no or little value because of sentimental attachment. Other times, the argument is really about something completly different but the death brings it to the surface.

There wasn't really anything of value when my grandmother died. I remember she split her money between the grandkids before she died, and it was just enough for each of us to get a new (relatively cheap) winter coat. But there was an old house. It costs more in upkeep than it is worth, old, bad quality materials, not possible to use in wintertime, but it was a childhood home. Two of the kids agreed to buy the other three out, with agreement that they all could keep using it. But one of the older boys did not agree with the realtor's assessment, he wanted it on the open market. The difference in price would maybe be a thousand dollars, so it clearly wasn't about the cash. The argument that ensued caused a rift that lasted till that uncle died. In it, all the old resentment from the last 50 years came to the surface.

The fun part of that was that his wife thought he was dead wrong, and made sure that she and the kids attended all family gatherings, wrote Christmas cards, etc.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #520 on: June 20, 2016, 11:10:42 AM »
Luckily, our family now has been, and will be drama free.  When my Dad died, Mom sat down and thought about my sister and I, and each grandchild, what they liked, etc., and offered keepsakes based on that.  It was so great - no arguing, and each got something special to remember their Grandpa by.  When my Mom goes (she's 86), my sister and I joke that the daily thread will be, "You take it.  No, you take it."   Mom has been very clear about what goes where, and has already given away the very special things to all of us.  I wish she would spend her money too, but that's an argument we've given up winning.

But, the reason she's been so organized is that she watched her younger sister pillage their father's and aunt's small estates.  She let it go, but never forgot the anger and hurt over such petty behaviour.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #521 on: June 20, 2016, 01:14:06 PM »
The estates where there's little to fight over seem to have the most vicious fighting in my estimation.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #522 on: June 20, 2016, 01:32:50 PM »

Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?

My dad's mom passed about 10 months ago, estate was split about 40/40/20 between 2 brothers and then random gifts to random groups of people (church, grandkids, friends, etc, in the amounts of $10-20k).  Basically all cash/cash equivalents, she had sold her house and most property and moved to assisted living.  The two brothers get along just find, all is well, except that neither one particularly needs the money (estate was maybe $300-400k and ~80% was already executed?) so neither is any hurry to wrap it all up.  Not a big deal, but I would like my small share in my investment account instead of in trust/escrow somewhere....
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Chris22

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #523 on: June 20, 2016, 01:36:31 PM »
In all honesty, you should feel grateful if there is "inheritance drama". Inheritance may as well be strange customs of an alien culture as far as the vast majority of people are concerned. My grandparents just died and they had retired to a trailer in Florida and then moved in with my aunt when they got too old and frail to take care of themselves anymore. No money to dish out. My family has ten children that were raised on one government employee income. I'm going to get jack squat when my father dies. If you have "inheritance drama", you are living the good life. Be thankful for it.

Eh, yes and no, I mean, there are worse problems to have, but if you inherit property jointly with other people, especially maintenance intensive property, you've likely inherited a burden, not a gift. 
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #524 on: June 20, 2016, 02:07:43 PM »
Seriously - the lowest drama method is to give it away before you die. Want a family heirloom to go to someone special? Hand it to them while you can still remember who they are.

I can see myself someday -- as I approach my personal expiration date -- gifting cash/stocks to my heirs which won't exceed the maximum exclusion amount ($14,000 in 2015).  Even prior to that date -- for my nieces and nephews -- I'm considering offering them an IRA match to encourage them to save.

We're fortunate in that we have had no drama in my immediate family.  My brother and I will be our parents' executors and the other siblings are fine with that.  I even tried to get my father to exclude me from the inheritance (since I don't need the money), but he refused, thinking it would be unseemly.

I suppose being financially independent helps to insulate you from the inheritance drama.  After lurking on this thread for the past few months, I realize how blessed our family has been to avoid the bad karma of fighting over an inheritance.

Does anyone have stories of pleasant "non-dramatic" inheritance situations?  Stories where the family members went out of their way to be kind and generous to everyone?
When my dad died, he left everything to the 7 kids.  It wasn't much (I got about $10k).  His will stated that everything be sold and divided up. But honestly, he didn't have anything worth selling (he gave me his copy of Walden years before, to give you an idea).

After his burial, we went back to the house and drank beer and ate bad food and talked for hours.  My sister the executor said: "take whatever you want, the rest is going to a dumpster" (because it wasn't worth much).  So, I got the corn dishes. (Ceramic dishes shaped like corn.  That my mom made, and left when she divorced him.  She always regretted not taking them).  We dug through a closet and found his WWII Army uniform, hidden behind a prom dress, in a garment bag.  I hope someone kept that.

My big sis the executor handled everything, and the rest of us were happy!

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #525 on: June 20, 2016, 06:37:20 PM »
In the middle of an otherwise drama-filled situation that 5 years later is still going through the court system for elder abuse... my mom was the executor for my grandmother's estate. Most things weren't worth that much (well, new they would have been, and they were in good condition, but no market for them = no value, in practical terms).

My grandmother had specified where the items of value (specific pieces of jewelry, leather furniture, etc) were going. My mom made sure that things went where they were needed ("oh, we have used-but-great-quality towels, single beds, and sheets. Maybe the cousin who is a single mom working minimum wage would appreciate those for her daughters, since apparently they are using sleeping bags" or "X person cooks, so should get the stacks of pie plates", or "person who does woodworking should look through the shop for things they can use") - practical decisions for things that couldn't be sold but could definitely be used and appreciated.

And then she made sure that sentimental items went to the right people - my cousin brought my grandmother roses every week, and she'd always put them in this case she treasured and it made her happy: he got the vase. That kind of thing.

In the middle of a situation filled with abuse, social workers, lawyers, and a dickbag of an uncle, I though that the thoughtfulness of how she split up material belongings showed a lot of grace.

CU Tiger

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #526 on: June 20, 2016, 09:01:09 PM »

In the middle of a situation filled with abuse, social workers, lawyers, and a dickbag of an uncle, I though that the thoughtfulness of how she split up material belongings showed a lot of grace.

I find the phrase "dickbag of an uncle" strangely hilarious, but I am sorry you have one...an uncle who is a dickbag, I mean.
There are two ways to get enough: one is to continue to accumulate more and more. The other is to desire less. - G.K. Chesterton

Kitsune

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #527 on: June 21, 2016, 06:54:45 AM »

In the middle of a situation filled with abuse, social workers, lawyers, and a dickbag of an uncle, I though that the thoughtfulness of how she split up material belongings showed a lot of grace.

I find the phrase "dickbag of an uncle" strangely hilarious, but I am sorry you have one...an uncle who is a dickbag, I mean.

Sometimes standard insults are just not sufficient. ;)

deadlymonkey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #528 on: June 22, 2016, 09:36:49 AM »
Thanks for the info everyone.  I don't think the cottage will be an issue for many, many years to come, but would like to be prepared.  My parents will likely not leave much if any inheritance.  I think I have convinced them to sell their house when they finally retire and do what they always wanted and RV around the country.  They already picked out the RV and buying later this year.  I don't need or want anything from them, I just don't want my sister to take advantage.  I love her but she leeches off them now (small things) like free childcare all the time, Netflix, hbo accounts, cell phone (until recently).  Sister received a house for free from her husband's grandmom (inheritance) and I feel like she is eyeing an upgrade to my parent's house. 

MgoSam

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #529 on: June 22, 2016, 02:01:33 PM »
The estates where there's little to fight over seem to have the most vicious fighting in my estimation.

Reminds me of a joke I once heard.

Q: Why are academic politics so heated?
A: Because the stakes are so low.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #530 on: June 22, 2016, 02:17:19 PM »
Sidetrack, but here's another one MgoSam -

Q: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well?
A: They have a common enemy.
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Rural

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #531 on: June 22, 2016, 02:54:54 PM »
The estates where there's little to fight over seem to have the most vicious fighting in my estimation.

Reminds me of a joke I once heard.

Q: Why are academic politics so heated?
A: Because the stakes are so low.


Gospel truth right there.

WGH

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #532 on: June 24, 2016, 03:20:07 PM »
Sidetrack, but here's another one MgoSam -

Q: Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well?
A: They have a common enemy.

Fair warning I am stealing this one :)

nonurseorpurse

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #533 on: June 24, 2016, 07:54:27 PM »

In the middle of a situation filled with abuse, social workers, lawyers, and a dickbag of an uncle, I though that the thoughtfulness of how she split up material belongings showed a lot of grace.

I find the phrase "dickbag of an uncle" strangely hilarious, but I am sorry you have one...an uncle who is a dickbag, I mean.

Sometimes standard insults are just not sufficient. ;)

Love this insult! :) I can apply it to two brothers, both who showed their dickbagginess the last few years of our mother's life.  Hopefully, this will help others avoid this problem.

My parents had a revocable living trust with a pour over will in place when my dad died.  Everything went to my mom.  The problem begins when mom shows signs of dementia immediately after my dad's funeral.  The short story is the 2 brothers  had frequent economic outpatient care from our parents before and after my dad's death.  The disturbing part was when the 2 brothers decided they were immediately entitled to the proceeds from selling the farm because they had a penis.  They were unable to have the proceeds titled in their name (mom is still alive) but proceeded to trade stocks and mutual funds as if the money was theirs.  Brother 1 had also signed a promissory note for $25K to invest in his "business." 

The worst part was when Brother 1 takes mom to a new attorney and has the living revocable trust rewritten to exclude me and my sister.  All proceeds from the estate would go to the 2 brothers.  Brother 1 has the trust rewritten again to exclude Brother 2.  All this is happening while mom's dementia is getting worse.  She admitted in a lawyer's office she didn't understand what she had signed.  Fortunately, about 2 months later, she has a moment of clarity and demands that the original trust be reinstated.  She paid for all 3 revisions of the trust and Brother 1 continues to get money from her (she can't say no). 

The only consolation for my sister and I is that mom kept records of some of the amounts she gave to Brother 1.  We had the $25,000 promissory note, which he repaid $0 and copies of checks and wire transfers that were sent to him.  A clause in the trust allowed my sister and I as co-trustees, to deduct the gifts and amount borrowed from his inheritance.  Brother 2 had his economic outpatient care in the form of cash, because he lived close, so we could not document any amount for equalization.

I'm not a lawyer, this isn't legal advice and don't know if this will work in every state.  Here's the clause in her trust

Grantor wishes to make certain monetary gifts during Grantor's lifetime to one or more of Grantor's children.  Records of said gifts will be located within Grantor's personal papers.  In the event that Grantor has made such gifts, upon final distribution, Grantor directs that a like sum, equal to the amount of the gifts, be distributed to each of Grantor's other children listed in paragraph (c) below.  The intent of this paragraph is to equalize the distributions among Grantor's children and this paragraph should be construed to effect this equalizing distribution.  Grantor trusts the Trustees in setting the amounts for distribution under this paragraph and no person shall challenge the exercise of this discretion by the Trustees.

This clause will be included in my trust on it's next revision.  I don't anticipate any problems with my heirs but better safe than sorry.  Sharing a copy of the trust and net worth statement with my children every 2-3 years is also part of my plan.  There are no secrets. 

 

Mrs. S

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #534 on: June 27, 2016, 01:25:12 AM »
Oh! I have one on either side of the family. My mom's brothers held a strong belief that nothing should ever go to their sisters and the belief was strongly ingrained in their DWs as well. I have no clue what eventually happened but I doubt there was any equitable division when both my grand dad and grandmom passed away. It got really bad around my marriage since i was getting married before one of my elder cousins. For some reason it was very important that your sisters are not treated like they are part of your family for inheritance but for all other matters they have to follow the family hierarchy of getting married.
On my dad's side it was a big mess. My dad kept on telling his father to just hand it over to one person (7 children) and be done with it instead of assuming people will distribute it later and leaving equal shares. He did not and one of the uncles still lives in the huge house my granddad had. It can't be sold and he actually stopped talking to everyone else for sometime since everyone wanted to settle the issue. There is another property that no body uses which can't be sold either because it requires all the siblings to sign off. No clue how it is going to end.

I am happy I don't want anything from my parents and it can be divided howsoever they want and same for DH's parents. They helped us out when we had locked up money and had to close our house. For some reason they refuse to take the money back and I believe that combined with whatever they spent on our marriage is enough for my inheritance.
It sure feels good when you know you will not need the outpatient care.
FI in India- {Royally Frugal}

Sibley

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #535 on: July 11, 2016, 10:57:37 AM »
This is pretty tame, but I'll share.

My great-uncle passed away recently. No word on any inheritance drama and I don't really anticipate any given the circumstances, but there is most certainly drama on the memorial. Due to family location, etc, it's been decided that a memorial will be held this coming winter sometime. No word on the date yet.

Location is the fun part. They had a number of children, all of whom now live somewhere in the south. Florida, Texas, etc. There is apparently one person who wants the memorial to be held in Michigan, where everyone grew up. They're making a fuss about this. They've been emailing, sending FB or linked in messages, etc to everyone remotely related to ask us to support them.

I would also love it if the memorial was in Michigan, it would be LOT easier for me to attend. Not sure I can otherwise. But the ONLY thing I'm going to say to my great aunt is that I love her. I don't even have a phone number! Dear lord, I hope this one wacko person is kept far away from the estate. They're even more remote than I am, so I think there's a pretty good chance.

Undefined

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #536 on: July 11, 2016, 11:42:24 AM »
This thread is amazing and I luckily have nothing to add to it except for the good parts.

{Nice inheritance story removed at the request of other family members also on this board}
« Last Edit: August 18, 2016, 02:08:47 PM by Undefined »

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #537 on: July 11, 2016, 01:29:10 PM »
Another positive story:

DH's grandmother passed away.  She left written instructions her jewelry should be divided by her children picking in turns by age.  MIL and her SIL went and got the jewelry appraised.  Nothing of real value but a diamond ring (maybe 1-3k, not her wedding ring).  Some costume jewelry as well.

MIL is the oldest sibling, so she's to pick first and could take the ring if she wanted to do so.  She tried to get her siblings instead to agree to sell it and divvy up the pot, but that apparently didn't fly.  Instead they agreed to draw names out of a hat for it.  MIL won the draw, so twice over now the ring is hers (and the siblings still insisted she pick first).

Siblings all picked out the jewelry by turn quite happily.  (MIL tried to get me or her other DIL to make picks on her turns, but we declined - thought she should.)  They also set out the costume jewelry for any of the 30+ grandkids/spouses to just grab what they wanted.  Everyone who wanted got at least one if not several items, and no fuss/fights or problems.  (This is a positive turn from when DH's grandfather passed away and MIL was out of the country.  A sibling got rid of much of his stuff before she had a chance to object.)

mm1970

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #538 on: July 11, 2016, 03:41:00 PM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

Metric Mouse

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #539 on: July 12, 2016, 12:46:58 AM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

I hope my parents live to see me in my 70's.
Give me one fine day of plain sailing weather and I can mess up anything.

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mm1970

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #540 on: July 12, 2016, 09:43:40 AM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

I hope my parents live to see me in my 70's.
Right?  My parents died when I was 37 (dad) and 41 (mom), and neither of them lived to see the birth of my second child.

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #541 on: July 12, 2016, 09:58:45 AM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

If the girl's trust is smaller (and there are more recipients?), $60k missing may not be so insignificant for everyone receiving under it.  Doesn't the trustee have records of any disbursements?  (Wouldn't the trustee also be on the hook for an improper disbursement?)  Or is it possible that step-grandma spent it and it's not missing after all?

Making Cookies

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #542 on: July 13, 2016, 08:40:54 AM »
Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

I grew up watching some people drool over money they assumed would be their's someday. Money wrecked that family.

mm1970

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #543 on: July 13, 2016, 09:11:54 AM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

If the girl's trust is smaller (and there are more recipients?), $60k missing may not be so insignificant for everyone receiving under it.  Doesn't the trustee have records of any disbursements?  (Wouldn't the trustee also be on the hook for an improper disbursement?)  Or is it possible that step-grandma spent it and it's not missing after all?
My sister has asked for annual statements going back to the year that it had more money in it.  She hasn't gotten them yet.  If the boys raided it, it would totally suck, and there is virtually  no chance of getting the money back now.  You can't hold up the big trust to sort it out, anyway.  Not legally.  We both, of course, hope that step-grandma needed it and used it. 

You are right that it's not insignificant.  $60k equates 1/4 of the total.

Hall11235

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #544 on: July 13, 2016, 01:24:08 PM »
No real drama, just some neat stories.

1. My dad's dad started working for 3M back in the 60's and worked there is whole career. My father has confirmed that his parents are worth at least 3 million. Grandpa Skip is a Mustachian Ninja. The family calls him "El Cheapo." Now that he is in his mid seventies, he is unwilling to give any money to the Government in the form of the estate tax. His solution: he has 6 kids, and once a year he gives each child 10k in cash.

2. My mom's dad died several years ago. My mom and her sisters were concerned about my grandma's money situation. Whenever they would raise the issue, Grandma would say, "I don't know much, but I know Jim took care of me." Then my aunt snuck around and discovered my Grandpa's retirement account that he left to my grandma was at least a million dollars. Now, we don't ask her too much on how she is doing money wise. Grandma spends very little, just money on Neon Nikes and gardening supplies.

"Just because it's common, doesn't mean it's normal."

Captain FIRE

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #545 on: July 13, 2016, 02:23:26 PM »
Ah well, the grandpa's estate closure is going along on the death of his 2nd wife.

My two shitty uncles continued their shitty trend of calling (someone) and wanting to know "when do I get my  money??"  (I'm guessing the boys' trust was quite large, over half a million).  These guys are in their 70s, WTF?

My sister has not figured out what happened to $60k of the missing trust for the girls.  She suspects the boys raided it. 

Based on a letter she sent to the trust people, they amended their letter and the amounts that each beneficiary gets - and it's now correct.  So, I told my sister she should get a cut of it since she did their job for them!  Sheesh.

In any event, I was visiting and she is so frustrated with how horrible our uncles are, how there is money missing, and how upset my mother would be if she were alive.  I told her to let it go.  We aren't talking a lot of money here.  Mom is dead, so she doesn't know any better.  Don't worry about things you cannot control. So the uncles' wives get the money and blow it all - great! it goes into the economy.  You can't change it.  They are old and miserable and will continue to be so.  Can you imagine waiting until you are over 70 to get a windfall so that you can "enjoy life"???

If the girl's trust is smaller (and there are more recipients?), $60k missing may not be so insignificant for everyone receiving under it.  Doesn't the trustee have records of any disbursements?  (Wouldn't the trustee also be on the hook for an improper disbursement?)  Or is it possible that step-grandma spent it and it's not missing after all?
My sister has asked for annual statements going back to the year that it had more money in it.  She hasn't gotten them yet.  If the boys raided it, it would totally suck, and there is virtually  no chance of getting the money back now.  You can't hold up the big trust to sort it out, anyway.  Not legally.  We both, of course, hope that step-grandma needed it and used it. 

You are right that it's not insignificant.  $60k equates 1/4 of the total.

Interesting, I would have assumed the trustee would have a fiduciary duty to only make proper disbursements, and thus you'd have legal recourse against them if they breached that duty by permitting someone who was not authorized to take money.  It's not any different if they gave me the money or an unpermitted family member.  And of course, you could go after the uncles (if you wished to accept with the associated fallout from it) because it's considering stealing to take money that they have no right to.  Anyways, hopefully it was step-grandma!

The Fake Cheap

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #546 on: July 13, 2016, 06:37:15 PM »
This one is less drama and more anti-mustachian.

My dad, who is actually a very wise fellow, but HORRIBLE with money, took his share of his parents estate early, about 12 years ago, the other siblings permitted him to do so, so he got a cheque.  And no, he did not invest it wisely, or pay off debt, it was just burned.

Fast forward to when my grandfatherr (his father) dies last year. After the estate is all settled, he tells me that his brothers and sisters are getting a nice big cheque for about $30,000 each from the estate.  So I ask, "And you got one too?"  "No" he says "I took my share on it about 12 years ago, I was about $8,000."

Ouch.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #547 on: July 13, 2016, 08:03:33 PM »
This one is less drama and more anti-mustachian.

My dad, who is actually a very wise fellow, but HORRIBLE with money, took his share of his parents estate early, about 12 years ago, the other siblings permitted him to do so, so he got a cheque.  And no, he did not invest it wisely, or pay off debt, it was just burned.

Fast forward to when my grandfatherr (his father) dies last year. After the estate is all settled, he tells me that his brothers and sisters are getting a nice big cheque for about $30,000 each from the estate.  So I ask, "And you got one too?"  "No" he says "I took my share on it about 12 years ago, I was about $8,000."

Ouch.

Parents still sometimes give children a share of the estate early?  I thought that only happened in the biblical story of the Prodigal Son.  I can't picture anyone even wanting to ask their parents for early death-money.
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kayvent

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #548 on: July 13, 2016, 08:19:30 PM »
This one is less drama and more anti-mustachian.

My dad, who is actually a very wise fellow, but HORRIBLE with money, took his share of his parents estate early, about 12 years ago, the other siblings permitted him to do so, so he got a cheque.  And no, he did not invest it wisely, or pay off debt, it was just burned.

Fast forward to when my grandfatherr (his father) dies last year. After the estate is all settled, he tells me that his brothers and sisters are getting a nice big cheque for about $30,000 each from the estate.  So I ask, "And you got one too?"  "No" he says "I took my share on it about 12 years ago, I was about $8,000."

Ouch.

Parents still sometimes give children a share of the estate early?  I thought that only happened in the biblical story of the Prodigal Son.  I can't picture anyone even wanting to ask their parents for early death-money.

If Jonny wants to get his share early and be written out of the will I don't see an issue with that....

A few posts up we have grumpy 70-year old uncles waiting for their inheritance. Giving them a dozen thousand four decades ago would have stopped all that grief. A person is entitled to their share of the estate....sometimes it is easier just to give them it.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #549 on: July 13, 2016, 09:11:45 PM »
A few posts up we have grumpy 70-year old uncles waiting for their inheritance. Giving them a dozen thousand four decades ago would have stopped all that grief. A person is entitled to their share of the estate....sometimes it is easier just to give them it.
Um, No? Getting a pile of money will not teach them how to be better with it, they'll just burn through it and want more. In my family, it would be sister, not uncle. Different gender, same bad behavior.
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