Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 307696 times)

radram

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1100 on: March 17, 2017, 07:14:23 AM »

For Vanguard accounts, you can call up a special department there and they'll run a report for you that does essentially the same thing.  Weirdly, in my state one gets a step-up in the entire basis (not just half of the account's basis) to value as of date of death.  I don't know why, but that's what I was told to do when I looked into it.


So are you saying if I create a joint account that is a ratio of a million to 1, and then the $1 dies, the million gets stepped up in cost basis? I smell loophole :)

What is your state?

 

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1101 on: March 17, 2017, 08:02:11 AM »

For Vanguard accounts, you can call up a special department there and they'll run a report for you that does essentially the same thing.  Weirdly, in my state one gets a step-up in the entire basis (not just half of the account's basis) to value as of date of death.  I don't know why, but that's what I was told to do when I looked into it.


So are you saying if I create a joint account that is a ratio of a million to 1, and then the $1 dies, the million gets stepped up in cost basis? I smell loophole :)

What is your state?

Idaho.

I think your "loophole" would work, but understand that the $1 person, while alive and a joint owner, has every right to sell "your" million and give it away or blow it on whatever.  It's also fairly easy to get a divorce in Idaho, and financials are usually split close to 50/50 regardless of who brings or earns the money, who does what with whom, and who decides to leave.
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Capsu78

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1102 on: March 31, 2017, 04:24:19 PM »

protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1103 on: April 01, 2017, 08:53:05 AM »
This isn't even an inheritance story, it's just gross. My father in law recently entered a nursing home. Yesterday he accepted an offer on his house (above asking, no inspection contingency, woohoo!) but that means we have to start cleaning it out and picking what things the four kids want before the rest either goes to auction or dumpster. We have until May 28th.

My brother in law and his wife have, for the entire time I've known them, been salivating over this day and I don't really understand why. There's nothing of value left in the house other than furniture and a few paintings that the other three kids have already split amongst themselves. BIL has said "he'll take whatever's left" but we've been pretty clear that anything left has to go to auction so it can help pay for FIL's nursing home. There's some decent furniture that would probably generate $1000 or more after auction fees.

BIL, through various shenanigans, on short notice forced today to be the day when all of this happens so my wife went early this morning to rescue the few important family heirlooms still in the house and things FIL wants before BIL gets there. Shortly before she left, BIL texted my wife and said "whole family is coming" when the other three siblings had communicated just yesterday that it was to be a siblings-only thing so they could get stuff done without kids in the way.

Turns out the only reason the whole family is coming is so they could bring two cars to haul away more stuff. Stuff that should be sold at auction for FIL's benefit. BIL also lied to my wife about my sister in law telling him it was ok. SIL is just as surprised and appalled as my wife.

I'm disgusted with their behavior. The man isn't dead! He's less than half an hour away from the house! Are they going to go visit him in the nursing home? Of course not. They're going to pack up his things and take them back to their house where they can sell it all at their leisure on eBay and keep the money for themselves.

As she was leaving my wife said that after FIL passes away we probably will never talk to BIL or his family every again, which sucks because they're the geographically closest family we have and I would like my daughter to have a relationship with her cousins.

Tasty Pinecones

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1104 on: April 03, 2017, 10:58:46 AM »
Just an uplifting inheritance story (sarc) to bump this thread:

 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4367858/Evil-son-50-burnt-sister-alive-jailed-27-years.html

That's horrible. I wished I had not read the link.

Protostache: I guess "free" goes a long, long way for some people. I've seen some people get unreasonably giddy about "free". Someone ought to remind BIL point blank that this sale is of FIL's things to fund the FIL's care and not to serve as a windfall for someone else. BIL may have zero social awareness beyond his own greed. 

You could host the cousins in the future so that your kids have a relationship with their cousins. Try to minimize time with the rest of the flawed family.
« Last Edit: April 03, 2017, 11:04:43 AM by Tasty Pinecones »

protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1105 on: April 03, 2017, 02:16:29 PM »
Protostache: I guess "free" goes a long, long way for some people. I've seen some people get unreasonably giddy about "free". Someone ought to remind BIL point blank that this sale is of FIL's things to fund the FIL's care and not to serve as a windfall for someone else. BIL may have zero social awareness beyond his own greed.

You could host the cousins in the future so that your kids have a relationship with their cousins. Try to minimize time with the rest of the flawed family.

BIL doesn't care. My wife has repeatedly pointed out that the money goes to FIL's care, but his retort (which makes a sick kind of sense) is that Medicaid is going to kick in at some point anyway so any money we raise this way doesn't matter and nobody else really wants much of anything so he should just get to take it all.

A sick little addendum: turns out BIL also asked the neighbor about taking back the very nice snowblower FIL gifted to him. Neighbor came around yesterday when BIL wasn't there and told us all about it, just to make sure it was still his! We wouldn't have ever known if the neighbor hadn't said anything.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1106 on: April 03, 2017, 03:17:53 PM »
Protostache: I guess "free" goes a long, long way for some people. I've seen some people get unreasonably giddy about "free". Someone ought to remind BIL point blank that this sale is of FIL's things to fund the FIL's care and not to serve as a windfall for someone else. BIL may have zero social awareness beyond his own greed.

You could host the cousins in the future so that your kids have a relationship with their cousins. Try to minimize time with the rest of the flawed family.

BIL doesn't care. My wife has repeatedly pointed out that the money goes to FIL's care, but his retort (which makes a sick kind of sense) is that Medicaid is going to kick in at some point anyway so any money we raise this way doesn't matter and nobody else really wants much of anything so he should just get to take it all.

A sick little addendum: turns out BIL also asked the neighbor about taking back the very nice snowblower FIL gifted to him. Neighbor came around yesterday when BIL wasn't there and told us all about it, just to make sure it was still his! We wouldn't have ever known if the neighbor hadn't said anything.

Sorry for your situation re BIL.  Is your family and the other siblings families estates properly setup to defend from BIL?


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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1107 on: April 03, 2017, 04:57:52 PM »

BIL doesn't care. My wife has repeatedly pointed out that the money goes to FIL's care, but his retort (which makes a sick kind of sense) is that Medicaid is going to kick in at some point anyway so any money we raise this way doesn't matter and nobody else really wants much of anything so he should just get to take it all.

If you are sick and tired of dealing with BIL and you are the executor, call the police and have him arrested for burglary.




protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1108 on: April 03, 2017, 06:02:13 PM »
Protostache: I guess "free" goes a long, long way for some people. I've seen some people get unreasonably giddy about "free". Someone ought to remind BIL point blank that this sale is of FIL's things to fund the FIL's care and not to serve as a windfall for someone else. BIL may have zero social awareness beyond his own greed.

You could host the cousins in the future so that your kids have a relationship with their cousins. Try to minimize time with the rest of the flawed family.

BIL doesn't care. My wife has repeatedly pointed out that the money goes to FIL's care, but his retort (which makes a sick kind of sense) is that Medicaid is going to kick in at some point anyway so any money we raise this way doesn't matter and nobody else really wants much of anything so he should just get to take it all.

A sick little addendum: turns out BIL also asked the neighbor about taking back the very nice snowblower FIL gifted to him. Neighbor came around yesterday when BIL wasn't there and told us all about it, just to make sure it was still his! We wouldn't have ever known if the neighbor hadn't said anything.

Sorry for your situation re BIL.  Is your family and the other siblings families estates properly setup to defend from BIL?

My wife and I have a very good will that unfortunately we just recently updated, otherwise we would update it to remove BIL and family from one of the contingencies where they're named (if all of us die simultaneously the estate gets split amongst all of siblings to avoid the default estate rules). My other BIL I believe has things set up properly. He's a banker so I would be surprised if they hadn't. SIL does not, as far as we know, have anything set up.

If you are sick and tired of dealing with BIL and you are the executor, call the police and have him arrested for burglary.

That's the thing though. FIL isn't dead! He's very much alive, so the executor angle doesn't really come into play. Other BIL has power of attorney but he's not going to call the cops. The actual valuables are out of the house so he's just damaging his relationship with the rest of us now.

shelivesthedream

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1109 on: April 09, 2017, 04:44:00 AM »
I wrote a will today. Well, a draft. I'm going to sit on it for a while and check I haven't missed anything out. But I just wanted to say how much this thread had helped! It's a simple will, but I've put in what happens if we have children, if any of them are under eighteen, if any of them have died and have a surviving spouse or children (including children adopted under the age of sixteen!)... And I've kept it simple: sell everything and split the money. If anyone wants to buy anything, it's at full market value and counts as part of their share. If more than one person is interested in something, they have six months to come to an agreement about who it is or it gets sold by a third party and the money divided.

protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1110 on: April 09, 2017, 06:36:41 AM »
I wrote a will today. Well, a draft. I'm going to sit on it for a while and check I haven't missed anything out. But I just wanted to say how much this thread had helped! It's a simple will, but I've put in what happens if we have children, if any of them are under eighteen, if any of them have died and have a surviving spouse or children (including children adopted under the age of sixteen!)... And I've kept it simple: sell everything and split the money. If anyone wants to buy anything, it's at full market value and counts as part of their share. If more than one person is interested in something, they have six months to come to an agreement about who it is or it gets sold by a third party and the money divided.

I would humbly suggest running your will past an estate attorney in your jurisdiction prior to signing it. If they're reviewing what you've already written it shouldn't cost a whole lot and you'll have more confidence that it won't be contested for some weird technical drafting error when the time comes.

Reynold

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1111 on: April 11, 2017, 12:47:39 PM »
I would humbly suggest running your will past an estate attorney in your jurisdiction prior to signing it. If they're reviewing what you've already written it shouldn't cost a whole lot and you'll have more confidence that it won't be contested for some weird technical drafting error when the time comes.

Though just a warning, a lot of attorneys will charge more for reviewing your will than doing their own.  They have already put time into figuring out what boilerplate and contingencies they need in their own document for that state, and can delegate most of the "fill in the blank" stuff to their paralegals once they interview you.  If they have to read YOUR document, they actually have to see if it covers everything their's does from scratch.  And as you say, there can be state specific things.  Georgia, for example, requires that the witness to the will show up in court to testify that they witnessed it UNLESS there is a specific statement waiving that in the will.  Good luck tracking someone down 20 years after they witnessed your will. . .

Spork

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1112 on: April 11, 2017, 03:18:56 PM »
I would humbly suggest running your will past an estate attorney in your jurisdiction prior to signing it. If they're reviewing what you've already written it shouldn't cost a whole lot and you'll have more confidence that it won't be contested for some weird technical drafting error when the time comes.

Though just a warning, a lot of attorneys will charge more for reviewing your will than doing their own.  They have already put time into figuring out what boilerplate and contingencies they need in their own document for that state, and can delegate most of the "fill in the blank" stuff to their paralegals once they interview you.  If they have to read YOUR document, they actually have to see if it covers everything their's does from scratch.  And as you say, there can be state specific things.  Georgia, for example, requires that the witness to the will show up in court to testify that they witnessed it UNLESS there is a specific statement waiving that in the will.  Good luck tracking someone down 20 years after they witnessed your will. . .

Not exactly this, but we had to do something very similar with my FIL.  In his case, we had to track down one of the 3 witnesses and get a signed/notarized statement from them.  This is better than appearing in court, but tracking down someone in another state from 40 years ago... still sucks.  And it was all due to wording in the will.
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Sydneystache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1113 on: April 11, 2017, 10:24:39 PM »

BlueHouse

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1114 on: April 12, 2017, 09:10:50 AM »
I wrote a will today. Well, a draft. I'm going to sit on it for a while and check I haven't missed anything out. But I just wanted to say how much this thread had helped! It's a simple will, but I've put in what happens if we have children, if any of them are under eighteen, if any of them have died and have a surviving spouse or children (including children adopted under the age of sixteen!)... And I've kept it simple: sell everything and split the money. If anyone wants to buy anything, it's at full market value and counts as part of their share. If more than one person is interested in something, they have six months to come to an agreement about who it is or it gets sold by a third party and the money divided.
Your distribution scheme sounds like mine did.  Then someone pointed out that forced sale under my estate rather than letting property go to an heir could cost a lot in stepped-up cost basis. 
My attorney pointed out a few things that made things much simpler for me:
1.  I'm young and healthy.  I'm likely to write many more wills before I die.  So stop trying to account for every contingency, and just get on with it.  (don't try to figure out who gets what IF I have children or if A, B, and D, but not C predecease me.)
2.  I trust the person(s) I've named as executor.  Let them figure out whether to sell my personal property when the time comes. 

This advice made me stop worrying and let me just get on with things.  I'm covered.  My heirs are covered.  Is it perfect?  No, but it's good enough and it's done. 
Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand

iris lily

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1115 on: April 12, 2017, 10:16:45 AM »
I wrote a will today. Well, a draft. I'm going to sit on it for a while and check I haven't missed anything out. But I just wanted to say how much this thread had helped! It's a simple will, but I've put in what happens if we have children, if any of them are under eighteen, if any of them have died and have a surviving spouse or children (including children adopted under the age of sixteen!)... And I've kept it simple: sell everything and split the money. If anyone wants to buy anything, it's at full market value and counts as part of their share. If more than one person is interested in something, they have six months to come to an agreement about who it is or it gets sold by a third party and the money divided.
I agree, having somethIng in place is much better than having nothing.

We are still slagging though the mechanics of "populating our trust" and it taught me to c solid aye accounts. We have too many fooking financial instruments. Ugh.
Your distribution scheme sounds like mine did.  Then someone pointed out that forced sale under my estate rather than letting property go to an heir could cost a lot in stepped-up cost basis. 
My attorney pointed out a few things that made things much simpler for me:
1.  I'm young and healthy.  I'm likely to write many more wills before I die.  So stop trying to account for every contingency, and just get on with it.  (don't try to figure out who gets what IF I have children or if A, B, and D, but not C predecease me.)
2.  I trust the person(s) I've named as executor.  Let them figure out whether to sell my personal property when the time comes. 

This advice made me stop worrying and let me just get on with things.  I'm covered.  My heirs are covered.  Is it perfect?  No, but it's good enough and it's done.

SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1116 on: May 18, 2017, 02:29:55 AM »
Latest in our inheritance drama ... 5 children inherited 20% each of a 200 acre farm .. some children (not this one) wanted to sell the farm ... finally strong-armed this one into selling WHILE I AM OUT OF THE FREAKING COUNTRY ... AND put the closing date 2 days after I come back so I have to go on the day I get back to Canada to pick up the rocks I want as well as anything else that I have fond memories of (they said there is only "junk" left there ...) They have no good memories of the place obviously.

Anyways ... now it is the drama with monies left in our joint account where the farmers $10,000/year rent went - one brother has decided it needs to stay there until sometime in August ... argh ... I just want this all done. Here comes capital gains :(

Sorry about the rant ... just pissy about this whole thing and sad.
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Spork

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1117 on: May 18, 2017, 08:11:38 AM »
Latest in our inheritance drama ... 5 children inherited 20% each of a 200 acre farm .. some children (not this one) wanted to sell the farm ... finally strong-armed this one into selling WHILE I AM OUT OF THE FREAKING COUNTRY ... AND put the closing date 2 days after I come back so I have to go on the day I get back to Canada to pick up the rocks I want as well as anything else that I have fond memories of (they said there is only "junk" left there ...) They have no good memories of the place obviously.

Anyways ... now it is the drama with monies left in our joint account where the farmers $10,000/year rent went - one brother has decided it needs to stay there until sometime in August ... argh ... I just want this all done. Here comes capital gains :(

Sorry about the rant ... just pissy about this whole thing and sad.

Strongarming you into selling really sucks... sorry.   But there may be logistical reasons to keep cash around.  My dad died a year and a half ago and there is still a reasonable amount of cash sitting in an estate-owned account.  Expenses can drag out for a long time.
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talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1118 on: May 18, 2017, 08:12:33 AM »
Sweetlife, your situation sounds like a mess. Hang in there!

Of course, when you said "rocks I want", I just assumed you have some extremely valuable jewelry somewhere on that farm.

TomTX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1119 on: May 18, 2017, 06:16:57 PM »
Sweetlife, your situation sounds like a mess. Hang in there!

Of course, when you said "rocks I want", I just assumed you have some extremely valuable jewelry somewhere on that farm.

I assumed cool looking pieces of granite or marble or whatever.

Spork

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1120 on: May 18, 2017, 06:23:44 PM »
Sweetlife, your situation sounds like a mess. Hang in there!

Of course, when you said "rocks I want", I just assumed you have some extremely valuable jewelry somewhere on that farm.

I assumed cool looking pieces of granite or marble or whatever.

My wife is a rock hound.  I assumed very rock-looking rocks.  But rock-looking rocks that had emotional significance.  "The big rock by the barn" or "the slightly sparkly rock by the front door of the house I grew up in."
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
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talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1121 on: May 19, 2017, 07:23:03 AM »
I'm not fooled by the rocks that you got, you're still sweetlife, sweetlife from the block.

protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1122 on: May 19, 2017, 07:48:47 PM »
Protostache: I guess "free" goes a long, long way for some people. I've seen some people get unreasonably giddy about "free". Someone ought to remind BIL point blank that this sale is of FIL's things to fund the FIL's care and not to serve as a windfall for someone else. BIL may have zero social awareness beyond his own greed.

You could host the cousins in the future so that your kids have a relationship with their cousins. Try to minimize time with the rest of the flawed family.

BIL doesn't care. My wife has repeatedly pointed out that the money goes to FIL's care, but his retort (which makes a sick kind of sense) is that Medicaid is going to kick in at some point anyway so any money we raise this way doesn't matter and nobody else really wants much of anything so he should just get to take it all.

A sick little addendum: turns out BIL also asked the neighbor about taking back the very nice snowblower FIL gifted to him. Neighbor came around yesterday when BIL wasn't there and told us all about it, just to make sure it was still his! We wouldn't have ever known if the neighbor hadn't said anything.

Update

My wife and I and our 10 month old daughter went over to FIL's house for the last time today to supervise the auctioneer's picking up everything worth selling. Last night BIL started texting my wife about the paintings that were still there, and how they were going to get split, etc. Other BIL, SIL, and my wife all either picked out what they wanted or decided not to take anything, and BIL had plenty of opportunity to pick through them when he was loading up his two vans full of junk weeks ago, along with the at least two further occasions when he was in the house by himself.

This morning when we got there my wife generously took pictures of a few of the paintings so he could pick, but then he basically said "all of them". He wanted two for their house and one each for his three daughters that he could give them later in life "from Grandma" (they've already gotten things from Grandma after she passed. also they're very young and won't have any sentimental attachment). Well, the auction loaders got to working and suddenly all of the paintings were on the truck, except for two that my wife had hurriedly guessed at from his not very well expressed preference list.

My wife has preemptively instituted no-contact with BIL to avoid the inevitable fallout. It's not like he can't just go to the auction and buy the stupid things, they just want to get them for free. These aren't even particularly valuable paintings. They're just common Kincaid "paintings" (prints with hand-painted highlights). They're just being greedy.

Family, right? Ugh.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1123 on: May 19, 2017, 08:15:47 PM »
I suspect BIL is never happy - he's always just missed some great deal, or got screwed over, or....

Not sure if that makes you feel better, or different. But at least you know there is no way to make him happy.

Goldielocks

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1124 on: May 19, 2017, 11:02:11 PM »
IMO, I think that getting kincaid paintings would have been enough justice on BIL's head.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1125 on: May 20, 2017, 07:12:15 AM »
IMO, I think that getting kincaid paintings would have been enough justice on BIL's head.
+1 I haaaaate them. My IL's have a house full and keep buying them as "investments."

protostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1126 on: May 20, 2017, 07:49:33 AM »
IMO, I think that getting kincaid paintings would have been enough justice on BIL's head.
+1 I haaaaate them. My IL's have a house full and keep buying them as "investments."

That's basically the situation here. MIL bought them as "investments" but she could only afford the mass produced ones. They're worth about 10% of what she paid, if that. She was trying to do right by her kids and grandkids but basically just destroyed her pension lump sum payout between the paintings and the silver "investment" coins. BIL seems to have inherited that mentality.

I really don't like them either. We took one as a remembrance of MIL. It's actually a nice looking lighthouse instead of a cottage and my dad liked lighthouses but it's not hanging yet because the frame is a tacky "gold" thing and we haven't decided if we're going to spring to get it reframed or not.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1127 on: May 20, 2017, 08:00:13 AM »
IMO, I think that getting kincaid paintings would have been enough justice on BIL's head.
+1 I haaaaate them. My IL's have a house full and keep buying them as "investments."

That's basically the situation here. MIL bought them as "investments" but she could only afford the mass produced ones. They're worth about 10% of what she paid, if that. She was trying to do right by her kids and grandkids but basically just destroyed her pension lump sum payout between the paintings and the silver "investment" coins. BIL seems to have inherited that mentality.

I really don't like them either. We took one as a remembrance of MIL. It's actually a nice looking lighthouse instead of a cottage and my dad liked lighthouses but it's not hanging yet because the frame is a tacky "gold" thing and we haven't decided if we're going to spring to get it reframed or not.

You can frame art cheaply by measuring the print (Kincades will be a standard size, never a danger about that) and going to a hobby shop such as Michael's. They have pre-made frames and matting to fit just about any standard picture size. I wouldn't spring for custom framing for anything but an original or a very nice piece of textile art that requires UV protection.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1128 on: May 20, 2017, 08:42:21 AM »

You can frame art cheaply by measuring the print (Kincades will be a standard size, never a danger about that) and going to a hobby shop such as Michael's. They have pre-made frames and matting to fit just about any standard picture size. I wouldn't spring for custom framing for anything but an original or a very nice piece of textile art that requires UV protection.

The funny part of dealing with that place is that you can indeed get really nice, ready to use standard frame/glass/mat combinations really cheap. Asking them to do custom work however, can be shocking. I needed to do a 17"x 23" antique blueprint.  I picked a nice looking cheap frame that was actually a faux wood finish on fiberboard. I had a coupon with a huge discount at 65% off. By the time the clerk got done adding, she quoted $330+ for a custom frame job. This was AFTER the discounts. So they were actually pricing the work at over a grand. I laughed and asked if she was serious? I then bought a very similar frame/glass/mat from their stock supply for $15. I spent another $15 on a mat cutter from Amazon, and ended up with a very nice piece of art for $30, or less than 3% of their bogus quote  (pre-discount) 

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1129 on: May 20, 2017, 09:06:53 AM »
IMO, I think that getting kincaid paintings would have been enough justice on BIL's head.

They really are that insipid.   

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1130 on: May 20, 2017, 09:41:03 AM »
Unless the frame is horribly gaudy, a can of spray paint should work wonders. Even if it is gaudy, I'd try spray painting it first.

Oh, I will never understand the Collectibles mentality. I truly believe that's part of why I've never found living a frugal lifestyle to be particularly difficult.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1131 on: May 21, 2017, 12:22:19 AM »
I friend with even basic woodworking tools could pretty easily make a decent frame for you, so you'd only need someone to cut a piece of glass, and then whatever mat you might want (which you can DIY with a cheap mat cutter).  Depending on your tastes, the frame could likely be made with molding purchased from home depot, or if you wanted something fancier you could buy from a frame shop or online.

I had never done woodworking of any kind before, and with about 15 minutes of instruction (and access to a wood working shop, which sadly I no longer have), I was able to make frames, cut glass, and mount everything and it looks just as good as whatever the kid at Michael's who probably had not more more training than my 15 minutes could do. 

financialfreedomsloth

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1132 on: May 21, 2017, 06:40:11 AM »
I friend with even basic woodworking tools could pretty easily make a decent frame for you, so you'd only need someone to cut a piece of glass, and then whatever mat you might want (which you can DIY with a cheap mat cutter).  Depending on your tastes, the frame could likely be made with molding purchased from home depot, or if you wanted something fancier you could buy from a frame shop or online.

I had never done woodworking of any kind before, and with about 15 minutes of instruction (and access to a wood working shop, which sadly I no longer have), I was able to make frames, cut glass, and mount everything and it looks just as good as whatever the kid at Michael's who probably had not more more training than my 15 minutes could do.
Or get a standard size frame that is bigger than the non-standard size painting/photo you want framed. Buy a nice black or white (depending on the art) sheet of paper and us that as a background on which you put the painting/photo. Voila, your art is being displayed in a nice manner with the use of a cheap standard frame.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1133 on: May 22, 2017, 01:23:38 AM »
I loved my Mom very much... at her funeral our cousin came up to me and asked for a specific painting that my Mom had stored in the attic. AT THE FUNERAL...

I can't even remember my response. In the days after the funeral I told my brother what she's said. My brother said she did the same thing to my MOM at her Mother's (my Grandma's) funeral.

I don't care who is in that picture ... she isn't getting it.

Petty... yes I am.

I had a bit to catch up on in this thread but this is very familiar!

A lady came up to me at my grandfather-in-law's funeral and started talking about a certain picture from the GIL's house.

"I know he would want me to have it," she said.

Pffft, nope.

And who lays claim to items when the deceased's spouse is still alive and living in the family home? The estate won't be divided until we lose GMIL, but she's still going strong at 92.

UKMustache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1134 on: May 22, 2017, 05:54:35 AM »
I loved my Mom very much... at her funeral our cousin came up to me and asked for a specific painting that my Mom had stored in the attic. AT THE FUNERAL...

I can't even remember my response. In the days after the funeral I told my brother what she's said. My brother said she did the same thing to my MOM at her Mother's (my Grandma's) funeral.

I don't care who is in that picture ... she isn't getting it.

Petty... yes I am.

I had a bit to catch up on in this thread but this is very familiar!

A lady came up to me at my grandfather-in-law's funeral and started talking about a certain picture from the GIL's house.

"I know he would want me to have it," she said.

Pffft, nope.

And who lays claim to items when the deceased's spouse is still alive and living in the family home? The estate won't be divided until we lose GMIL, but she's still going strong at 92.

Yup, people really are that awful.

When my grandmother in law died, a neighbor approached my wife at the funeral and made some of the rudest comments imaginable. 

First she addressed my wife by the wrong name, she wasn't even close.  I won't put the name on here but it was a similar mistake to calling someone Christine instead of Samantha. 
This in my eyes was proof she had never even spoken to my wife's grandmother, all she ever talked about was her wonderful granddaughter!

Second she asked what we would do with all the stuff, is there anyone else to inherit?
Well, erm.  We haven't even thought about this yet, thanks for your concern.

Third (and the point where my wife cut the conversation off) was whether she could buy the house at a preferential rate because she wouldn't need to involve an agent.
This is the most tactless thing I've ever heard, people told me about it afterwards and I was furious.  To give context, this bereavement left my wife with no close family while still in her twenties.
It's unfortunate I wasn't present, I'd have ejected her from the funeral on her ass.

SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1135 on: May 26, 2017, 03:51:43 AM »
Sweetlife, your situation sounds like a mess. Hang in there!

Of course, when you said "rocks I want", I just assumed you have some extremely valuable jewelry somewhere on that farm.

They are very cool looking ones actually ... the reason they are valuable to me is that my Mom use to love looking for "special looking" rocks and it is a memory I have from when I was very young and something we did together lol... So ... not valuable to anyone but me... there is also the foundation of a lovely barn that has some cool rocks in it that would look lovely in our garden. Sigh ... I know i'm weird lol... but that's part of my charm lol...

Here's my Mom at 65yrs old with a "prize" she found in the back bush ...


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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1136 on: May 26, 2017, 03:57:00 AM »
Sweetlife, your situation sounds like a mess. Hang in there!

Of course, when you said "rocks I want", I just assumed you have some extremely valuable jewelry somewhere on that farm.

I assumed cool looking pieces of granite or marble or whatever.



My wife is a rock hound.  I assumed very rock-looking rocks.  But rock-looking rocks that had emotional significance.  "The big rock by the barn" or "the slightly sparkly rock by the front door of the house I grew up in."


You got the idea Spork!!! I tried to post a picture but it didn't work :(
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SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1137 on: May 26, 2017, 03:59:17 AM »
I loved my Mom very much... at her funeral our cousin came up to me and asked for a specific painting that my Mom had stored in the attic. AT THE FUNERAL...

I can't even remember my response. In the days after the funeral I told my brother what she's said. My brother said she did the same thing to my MOM at her Mother's (my Grandma's) funeral.

I don't care who is in that picture ... she isn't getting it.

Petty... yes I am.

I had a bit to catch up on in this thread but this is very familiar!

A lady came up to me at my grandfather-in-law's funeral and started talking about a certain picture from the GIL's house.

"I know he would want me to have it," she said.

Pffft, nope.

And who lays claim to items when the deceased's spouse is still alive and living in the family home? The estate won't be divided until we lose GMIL, but she's still going strong at 92.

Ha ha .... glad I am not the only one!!! :)
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SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1138 on: May 26, 2017, 04:02:01 AM »


It's unfortunate I wasn't present, I'd have ejected her from the funeral on her ass.[/i]


Ooooooo ..... I thought of this .... ;)
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SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1139 on: May 26, 2017, 04:10:19 AM »
Well ... it's done ... I received notice yesterday. I suppose someone should have told the real estate agent that not everyone was happy to have this property sold .... she sent out a "Congratulations on your sale" email... Well ... not I guess I can pay off every last one of my debts (Hurray) and put a significant amount to work for early retirement. 

thank you all for the responses ...

Just a clarification ... the estate has been closed for several years now ... this property was transferred to the 5 of us. So it is basically just a farm sale ... so really the only outstanding financial issues should be taxes and insurance on the property (I think?) Everything else should come out of the purchase price - real estate fees/lawyer fees, capital gains ... or maybe capital gains come off at tax time??

Anyways the money in that farm account should be divided within a week of the closing date ... which is 2 days after I get back from overseas... but enough time for me to gather the "jewels" before it is not longer part mine.
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aurora5

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1140 on: June 08, 2017, 06:07:54 PM »
My ex died, suicide, and left me his life insurance policy and his IRA. Unfortunately for me, in the state of Virginia, as his ex I could not inherit anything. You learn something new every day, right?

Moral of the story, be very aware of your state's inheritance laws and check your beneficiaries often. Maybe check your beneficiaries as often as you check your smoke detector batteries? Both are very important.

markbike528CBX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1141 on: June 08, 2017, 08:46:28 PM »
Beneficiaries of insurance and most likely at least half the IRA should be outside the probate (inheritance) scope.  Sorry to hear about the ex passing.  It's hard to deal with, even with people you've separated from.

aurora5

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1142 on: June 09, 2017, 05:59:20 AM »
The Virginia law is clear that ex-spouses may not inherit anything.
http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter6/section20-11
This Virginia law was new information for me.
It would be important to know for anyone living in Virginia who thought that an ex-spouses life insurance policy would help them with family expenses after death.

former player

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1143 on: June 09, 2017, 06:09:45 AM »
The Virginia law is clear that ex-spouses may not inherit anything.
http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter6/section20-11
This Virginia law was new information for me.
It would be important to know for anyone living in Virginia who thought that an ex-spouses life insurance policy would help them with family expenses after death.
It's pretty common that divorce ends the legal relationship so it also ends any property or legal interests that are contingent on that legal relationship.

I don't think there would be anything which would prevent an ex spouse from reinstating those rights after the divorce by making a new will or making a new nomination under an insurance policy stating the person X, who just happens to be their ex, is the beneficiary.
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AlanStache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1144 on: June 09, 2017, 08:12:42 AM »
The Virginia law is clear that ex-spouses may not inherit anything.
http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter6/section20-11
This Virginia law was new information for me.
It would be important to know for anyone living in Virginia who thought that an ex-spouses life insurance policy would help them with family expenses after death.
It's pretty common that divorce ends the legal relationship so it also ends any property or legal interests that are contingent on that legal relationship.

I don't think there would be anything which would prevent an ex spouse from reinstating those rights after the divorce by making a new will or making a new nomination under an insurance policy stating the person X, who just happens to be their ex, is the beneficiary.

So legally speaking you have to 'cycle the power' after a divorce to reset the device to its past state? 
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MgoSam

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1145 on: June 09, 2017, 11:53:39 AM »
The Virginia law is clear that ex-spouses may not inherit anything.
http://law.lis.virginia.gov/vacode/title20/chapter6/section20-11
This Virginia law was new information for me.
It would be important to know for anyone living in Virginia who thought that an ex-spouses life insurance policy would help them with family expenses after death.
It's pretty common that divorce ends the legal relationship so it also ends any property or legal interests that are contingent on that legal relationship.

I don't think there would be anything which would prevent an ex spouse from reinstating those rights after the divorce by making a new will or making a new nomination under an insurance policy stating the person X, who just happens to be their ex, is the beneficiary.

On a side note, depending on your state's laws your spouse and/or children may be able to claim a share of your estate regardless of what your will says, like even if you disinherit your spouse she/he could challenge it and would likely win.

Daleth

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1146 on: June 09, 2017, 02:09:27 PM »
Turns out the only reason the whole family is coming is so they could bring two cars to haul away more stuff. Stuff that should be sold at auction for FIL's benefit. BIL also lied to my wife about my sister in law telling him it was ok. SIL is just as surprised and appalled as my wife.

Make a list of everything they took and its approximate value. Then if your FIL lives long enough that he needs to apply for Medicaid, you can give that list to Medicaid and let them go after your BIL... ha.

Dicey

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1147 on: June 12, 2017, 12:51:55 PM »
I am considering the source (NYP), but what does this have to do with his father's being a 911 victim? This one makes no sense to me.

http://nypost.com/2017/06/11/fallen-911-firefighters-son-battling-with-aunts-over-inheritance/
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TaraB

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1148 on: June 12, 2017, 02:37:02 PM »
Wow binge-reading this whole thread today was...illuminating.

My parents divorced when I was a kid. Allegedly, there is a trust from my father's mother to which I am entitled a lot of money. But my mom is quite convinced that my father and his crazy sister spent all of it. At some point in the last 10 years, I decided it wasn't worth it to ever count this as a potential windfall or ever bother to try to go after it. I haven't spoken to my father in....17? 18? 19? years, so I am choosing to write this off as "not worth my time and effort and legal fees".

----------

On my mother's side, my great-grandfather was a shrewd businessman, and my grandfather also made a lot of smart decisions. My grandfather passed away in 2006 and my mom took over. My grandmother is still going and will be 90 this summer. There are a lot of complex pieces to this part of the family, and I've only ever gotten my mom's story. But my mom and her sister (D) do NOT get along because of money. My mom and her brother (C) also don't get along, mostly because of what C did to his now ex-wife.

D has one child (my cousin), C has 6, and I have a brother. So the family business is set up so I have a share with my brother, D's kid has a full share, and C's kids all have 1/6th of a share. (Mom, C and D each have a share. I don't know the %'s but you get the idea).

My grandparents generously offered to pay for me to go to college (same school as my grandfather). This set an interesting precedent of them having to pay for all subsequent grandkids going to college (4 or 5 in addition to me- I don't keep close tabs on my cousins admittedly).

There's potentially a LOT of money involved in this family if my grandmother ever passes away*. She's beat cancer multiple times. She's a tough lady, always looking to the next party. But unfortunately I believe C and some of his 6 kids strong-armed her into changing provisions of the life insurance so that it would benefit them (and go against my grandfather's wishes).

My entire family technically owns the family vacation house with the aforementioned split (the family business owns it). Recently my mom has mentioned liquidating that house once grandma passes, since grandma spends summers there but other than a weekend here or there, nobody else really uses it. This will prove to be the most difficult part, since the house is not particularly valuable but the LAND!! OH BOY! The location is pretty great. Of course D and C don't want to sell, but I don't want to co-own a house with them (and all my cousins) without grandma as neutral (ish) peacekeeper. (Thankfully no decisions have to be made anytime soon, but the more I read this thread, the more I'm thinking of relinquishing my thoughts of being "entitled to my share").

Family relations are so acrimonious already, and as I said, grandma is still alive. Luckily more than half of the estate is in easily transferable stocks, but what happens with that house will be rough.

Grandma also has tons of CRAP. I am thankful that I don't want her crap. I don't need her stuff to remember her, although when I visited her in April she wanted me to start thinking about the things of hers I might want.

And one last bit from this side of the family: my brother has recently been making...questionable decisions. My mom threatened to disinherit him, but instead she decided she's going to do what my grandmother is likely doing- OUTLIVE HIM!! MWAHAHAHA!

*No seriously. Not sure if it's just being stubborn, but mom and I are convinced she's never gonna die.

Capsu78

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1149 on: June 15, 2017, 09:40:15 AM »
This article provides a strong breeze of wisdom to many of the stories contained up thread:

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/why-you-might-want-to-disinherit-your-kids-2017-06-14

I just come to this thread for the disfunction :-)