Author Topic: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.  (Read 345509 times)

Sydneystache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1050 on: February 27, 2017, 01:31:13 PM »
Easy solution I would have thought - descendant sells the lot they inherit, and moves on; or descendant sells it to another relative at first instance, and moves on. Us first cousins will have to deal with that when all the parents die.

SweetLife

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1051 on: February 28, 2017, 06:08:21 AM »
Whatever you do don't give a lot to two people 50/50 ... that is what I am going through right now.
1 acre owned with my brother (whom I adore) ... But this is creating a huge issue for me ... My brother wants to give me $20,000 for it ... and he will pay the tax on it. However there are no building lots available in our area right now and the housing prices are through the roof so I have been counselled to get an appraisal on the land before I sell it. On one hand I don't want to alienate my brother on the other if the land is actually worth $70000 - or more (rather than the $60000) it was appraised for when my Mom passed away it would make a pretty large difference to our bank account. There is more to the story but this is the simplified version.

Try and make your wills "clean" not messy for whomever is inheriting.


I'm not sure what Mom was thinking when she did this 50/50 split but it is just a big headache.
Typos will happen, corrections appreciated, or just ignore ;)

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1052 on: February 28, 2017, 08:07:25 AM »

Spiffy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1053 on: February 28, 2017, 10:25:25 AM »
Whatever you do don't give a lot to two people 50/50 ... that is what I am going through right now....
I'm not sure what Mom was thinking when she did this 50/50 split but it is just a big headache.

Yes, this! I think land is the most difficult thing to deal with as an inheritance. We will be dealing with this soonish (my beloved grandmother is a healthy 93). Almost all of her wealth is in farming and ranching land. So around 2000 acres will be split between my mom and her 2 siblings and the children of her deceased brother. Grandmother has not farmed the land herself since my grandfather died. I has been leased out for years. My grandmother has done her best to divide the land equally, not in acreage, but in worth. So that means some parts being leased by one farmer will be owned by two people. It is going to be a nightmare to figure out the money involved with this because the owner pays for land taxes, crop insurance and fertilizer, etc. while the farmer pays the lease and seeds, then gives a portion of the crops back to the owner, etc. It's all very feudal. I think it would be so much easier to just sell the land! No one is going to want to farm it themselves, or even knows how to anymore.
edited to add: one of Mom's siblings and children of deceased brother have already built houses on some of the land they will inherit and others use some for hunting and fishing, but Grandmother still pays the taxes. So this could also be posted under the unequal inheritance thread, if we get technical about it!
« Last Edit: February 28, 2017, 10:41:50 AM by Spiffy »

Spork

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1054 on: February 28, 2017, 10:56:03 AM »
Not everything your parents plan to leave behind is valuable: https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2017/02/12/sorry-nobody-wants-your-parents-stuff/#7072571724ed

This article is pretty spot on to what we recently experienced.  Even "expensive stuff" that my parents carried insurance riders on for years were just not worth much -- unless you were willing to drop them at a consignment dealer and wait months for the right buyer.
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
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tyrannostache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1055 on: February 28, 2017, 01:22:54 PM »
Not everything your parents plan to leave behind is valuable: https://www.forbes.com/sites/nextavenue/2017/02/12/sorry-nobody-wants-your-parents-stuff/#7072571724ed

This article is pretty spot on to what we recently experienced.  Even "expensive stuff" that my parents carried insurance riders on for years were just not worth much -- unless you were willing to drop them at a consignment dealer and wait months for the right buyer.

Ugh, indeed. I've tried to point this out to my parents, and it didn't seem to sink in. They recently downsized into a retirement community, and my dad has 2 storage lockers filled with furniture and "stuff" from the old house that he is holding on to because he thinks the kids might want that stuff someday. And yet he and my mom are still buying new furniture and oriental rugs with the idea that they will be "family heirlooms." Also because a high-pressure rug salesman came to their house and convinced them that it was a really good idea.

Pops also just commissioned for himself a huge custom-made $4k+ desk, and he messaged both my sibling and I to find out what our preferences would be for the finish, since it will clearly be residing in one of our homes one day. I had to repeat, once again, that we don't want his furniture (except that one comfy chair. I love that comfy chair).

My parents have always been the antithesis of mustachianism, saved only by virtue of having a high income. (I just found out that for the last several years, they were paying nearly $1000 per MONTH for lawn care service. For a guy to mow every other week, rake leaves in the fall, trim bushes, etc on a 1/2-acre lot.)

mtn

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1056 on: February 28, 2017, 03:08:54 PM »
My parents, and I as well, love to go to estate sales.

Go to any estate sale on the last day. Stuff is usually 50% off. Look at how much is still there, being sold for pennies on the dollar. Even nice stuff.

My wife and I just got 2 recliners, very good condition, for $500 total. Cost of them new? Over $2,000 EACH. My wife buys kitchen stuff like its going out of style at these things.

My parents, even though they still buy a lot at these things, are also getting rid of stuff quickly. They've basically told us (my brothers and I) that if we want something, tell them, otherwise it is liable to disappear.

Villanelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1057 on: February 28, 2017, 09:44:44 PM »
My dad and his two siblings inherited 3 pieces of property.  While there were 3 siblings and three properties, they were of wildly varied value, so it wasn't an "each take one" situation.  Thankfully, it worked out fine.  Two were sold, and my dad took one--the one grandma lived in until she died-- as his share (and paid money to the siblings by way of taking a smaller portion of the rest of the estate, since the one he took was the most expensive by far).  My husband and I, newlyweds at the time, then purchased the house from him.

He/we paid a fair price--the appraised, fair market value minus what they would have had to pay a realtor.  Everyone was fair and reasonable about it, no one quibbled over a few thousand here or there.  (Could they have sold that home for $3000 more, or would it have actually gotten $4000 less?) 

In their case, leaving property worked just fine.  I guess the issue is when it's super complicated (like the farm division above, with unclear boundaries), or when one person wants to keep and one wants to sell (and the estate doesn't have enough money to settle the difference, or the parties involved can't be reasonable).

There's a chance DH and I would actually want my parents' current home by the time we inherit, which is hopefully way in the future.  I'd fully expect to pay my sister for her fair share of the value.  I also fully anticipate both of us being reasonable about what that value is.  (Perhaps I'm setting myself up for disappointment there. :lol) Thankfully, we are both reasonable people, and we are financially secure enough (and likely will be even more so by the time we are inheriting) that a few thousand dollars won't make any difference, so we will be able to afford to be magnanimous with sale prices and estimate commission.  I'd never expect for her to give me the property obscenely cheaply, and nor would I think she'd try to get more out of the deal than she would with her half of the proceeds of a traditional sale. 

As with so many of these things, I think family dynamics is important when considering what will work.  I would have for my parents to sell off things they want or think are important to try to prevent drama between my sister and I down the road. 

SwordGuy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1058 on: February 28, 2017, 10:08:07 PM »
I own 1/2 of one farm and 1/3 of another farm.  My uncle owns 1/2 and 1/3 and my aunt owns 1/3.   (It's all fair and square as to the difference, my aunt chose not to participate in a partnership on the 2nd farm.)

My uncle handles dealing with the farmers and he mails my share of the profits as they come in.
He's taught his son and grandson what they need to know so they can pick up when he can't do it any more.  (He's in his 90s.)

There's no need to sell the land.   It reliably sheds off $20k per year as my share.   If the farm was a stock portfolio my share of that portfolio would be worth $500k according to the 4% rule.    I don't believe we could sell both farms for that much cash based on its current land value.  Certainly couldn't get enough cash to give each person a stock portfolio big enough to get the same returns on a 4% rule.

Thankfully, neither my aunt nor my uncle are motivated to sell.   There are 6 cousins (3 each) that might inherit from each of them.   4 of them are completely reasonable and are unlikely to try to force a sale.   The other 2?  Who knows.   Hopefully we can buy them out at a fair price if they just want quick cash and won't settle for long term income.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that it can work out just great if you're dealing with fair-minded, reasonable people who love one another as opposed to selfish, greedy, foolish, they-are-the-center-of-the-universe kind of people.


Sydneystache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1059 on: February 28, 2017, 10:55:22 PM »
Quote from: swordguy
There are 6 cousins (3 each) that might inherit from each of them.   4 of them are completely reasonable and are unlikely to try to force a sale.   The other 2?  Who knows.   Hopefully we can buy them out at a fair price if they just want quick cash and won't settle for long term income.

That's something I am thinking about say 10, 20 years down the track. There are 4 of us first cousins, then there are 3 second cousins so far. Before my beloved grandma died, she was worried about the future of her estate because she thought her kids were disinterested. The thing is the legacy can be bit of a burden (but also how one frames it) so I concur with the comments about the 'stickiness' of inheritances. Ideally, I don't want my mother's lot sold because it is my link to my grandma, however, if it becomes too much of a burden, then I'd prefer to see it go rather than the family torn apart. The estate is our link to each other and will become even more so when it goes down to the second cousins. It's the "emotional ownership" part that will be our Achilles' heels.

However, I think us first cousins are pretty all financially independent of the estate so we don't need it. Out of us 4, it will be a toss up between me and my older cousin as to who will be buying the others out so it is going to be a matter of maintenance and being an absentee landlord if it comes to that.

For my own situtation, I've ensured my son will inherit landed assets independent of the estate so he won't feel he has to fight his second cousins - if it ever eventuates - for his share. He doesn't need this particular inheritance.

talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1060 on: March 01, 2017, 07:04:23 AM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.

Spiffy

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1061 on: March 01, 2017, 08:34:00 AM »

My uncle handles dealing with the farmers and he mails my share of the profits as they come in.
He's taught his son and grandson what they need to know so they can pick up when he can't do it any more.  (He's in his 90s.)

So, I guess what I'm saying is that it can work out just great if you're dealing with fair-minded, reasonable people who love one another as opposed to selfish, greedy, foolish, they-are-the-center-of-the-universe kind of people.

Yes, thankfully my family is reasonable and loving and I don't think it will cause relationship problems and my Mom is trying to learn everything she can now to run the farm smoothly. She grew up on that farm and now has a small hobby farm with my dad, but once she can't do it anymore, I wonder who will. I like cows. I guess I better get busy learning! But my oldest brother is already retired, maybe he will do it. Second brother doesn't live close, but has no kids. Maybe he can manage it. See, once it gets to the third generation it gets more complicated.

Spork

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1062 on: March 01, 2017, 08:47:28 AM »
My parents, and I as well, love to go to estate sales.

Go to any estate sale on the last day. Stuff is usually 50% off. Look at how much is still there, being sold for pennies on the dollar. Even nice stuff.

My wife and I just got 2 recliners, very good condition, for $500 total. Cost of them new? Over $2,000 EACH. My wife buys kitchen stuff like its going out of style at these things.

My parents, even though they still buy a lot at these things, are also getting rid of stuff quickly. They've basically told us (my brothers and I) that if we want something, tell them, otherwise it is liable to disappear.

And at the end of the estate sale, Salvation Army (or the charity of your choice) will show up and take everything for nothing on the dollar.  My parents' house was a truckload.
Some will sell their dreams for small desires
Or lose the race to rats
Get caught in ticking traps
And start to dream of somewhere
To relax their restless flight

Just Joe

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1063 on: March 01, 2017, 10:57:05 AM »
Plan ahead. The charity we tried to donate a bedroom suite to expects us to bring it to them. We don't have a vehicle that can do that so we'll have to give it to someone else.

mtn

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1064 on: March 01, 2017, 12:15:52 PM »
My parents, and I as well, love to go to estate sales.

Go to any estate sale on the last day. Stuff is usually 50% off. Look at how much is still there, being sold for pennies on the dollar. Even nice stuff.

My wife and I just got 2 recliners, very good condition, for $500 total. Cost of them new? Over $2,000 EACH. My wife buys kitchen stuff like its going out of style at these things.

My parents, even though they still buy a lot at these things, are also getting rid of stuff quickly. They've basically told us (my brothers and I) that if we want something, tell them, otherwise it is liable to disappear.

And at the end of the estate sale, Salvation Army (or the charity of your choice) will show up and take everything for nothing on the dollar.  My parents' house was a truckload.

At my grandparents, they had a deal where the estate sale company basically gave them $3,000 for everything in the house, ran the sale from the house for 2 days, then took everything else to a junk shop. There were a few items that were separate from that deal (antique pedal car, highly collectible stereo, and one original oil painting), but otherwise it was $3,000.

I can't even begin to imagine the cost of everything new. Probably about $20k in furniture (over 65 years of marriage, remember) alone, clothes, kitchen stuff, golf clubs, decorations, etc.

And wanna know what probably sold for the most overall? The real junk that my aunt tried to throw away before my parents and the company stopped her. Half a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Half a roll of tape. Opened container of Solo cups. Which makes sense, those are the things that people will actually use. The special items all sold for their asking price, because we advertised them well, but everything else basically was given away.

joleran

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1065 on: March 01, 2017, 03:06:04 PM »
And wanna know what probably sold for the most overall? The real junk that my aunt tried to throw away before my parents and the company stopped her. Half a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Half a roll of tape. Opened container of Solo cups. Which makes sense, those are the things that people will actually use.

Wait, what?  That seems difficult to believe, people showing up and bidding, what, 15 cents for half a bottle of rubbing alcohol?  I'd think it wouldn't be worth the time.

mtn

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1066 on: March 01, 2017, 03:15:15 PM »
And wanna know what probably sold for the most overall? The real junk that my aunt tried to throw away before my parents and the company stopped her. Half a bottle of rubbing alcohol. Half a roll of tape. Opened container of Solo cups. Which makes sense, those are the things that people will actually use.

Wait, what?  That seems difficult to believe, people showing up and bidding, what, 15 cents for half a bottle of rubbing alcohol?  I'd think it wouldn't be worth the time.

Estate sale, not auction. Rubbing alcohol costs what, $8? Buy the mostly full bottle at the estate sale for $2. Same with the alcohol, oil in the garage, tape, etc.

The people go to the estate sale for something else, but while they're there see a package of AA batteries for $2, and throw them in the basket. Think about it--if you see a can of Off Bug Spray, or WD-40, what does it matter if it is half used? That stuff is expensive. Folks will buy it. I think that someone even bought bottles of shampoo and conditioner.

Villanelle

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1067 on: March 01, 2017, 09:47:11 PM »
My parents, and I as well, love to go to estate sales.

Go to any estate sale on the last day. Stuff is usually 50% off. Look at how much is still there, being sold for pennies on the dollar. Even nice stuff.

My wife and I just got 2 recliners, very good condition, for $500 total. Cost of them new? Over $2,000 EACH. My wife buys kitchen stuff like its going out of style at these things.

My parents, even though they still buy a lot at these things, are also getting rid of stuff quickly. They've basically told us (my brothers and I) that if we want something, tell them, otherwise it is liable to disappear.

And at the end of the estate sale, Salvation Army (or the charity of your choice) will show up and take everything for nothing on the dollar.  My parents' house was a truckload.

This is what we did with my grandmother's condo after family had taken out valuables and sentimental items.  I think it was AMVETs, but they had no problem showing up with a truck and taking everything, even though surely lots of it was just trash.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1068 on: March 01, 2017, 10:38:02 PM »
I actually just got some glorious news. I'm off the hook and no longer executor for an out-of-country estate.

My parents, who are not at all Mustachian anymore because they started making serious money later in life, wanted me to be the executor for their estate and to-- get this-- manage my estranged fuckup sibling's trust and dole out such money as he needs to continue enabling his cranially-rectally-inverted ways while still saddling me with the responsiblity of making sure the moron doesn't drink himself to death or throw a booze-filled tantrum and drive into someone who matters. After decades of enabling the little dipshit they wanted to drag me onto the codependent merry-go-round in their place. This is despite the fact I took off nearly twenty years ago and left the freaking country to avoid the stupid family drama.

Luckily, they found an estate lawyer who bitchslapped some sense into them. They aren't going to make my idiot sibling executor (said sibling went bankrupt without having actual bad life experiences, just bad financial decision making). We will be paying someone else to just liquidate everything in sight.

I am So. Fucking. Relieved.
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Sydneystache

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1069 on: March 01, 2017, 11:01:55 PM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1070 on: March 02, 2017, 05:43:46 AM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?
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BabyShark

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1071 on: March 02, 2017, 06:47:46 AM »
That's so great TGS! Congratulations, I bet it's a massive weight.

In that same vein, I was just talking to my mom because she needs to have all of her documents rewritten since dad passed.  I (and my two sisters) live out of state but Mom is still planning to name me as executrix.  That was always the plan but I'm a little wary on it. I fortunately don't have the issues that TGS does but I'm still wondering if I should recommend Mom have an instate, non-family member handle it.

Pigeon

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1072 on: March 02, 2017, 07:52:54 AM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.

I guess I'm just not that sentimental.  I see absolutely no reason why the property shouldn't be sold off if one person wants to keep it and the others don't want to buy them out. 

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1073 on: March 02, 2017, 10:14:58 AM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?

Yes, by three years, however we were raised quite differently.
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RetiredAt63

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1074 on: March 02, 2017, 10:44:29 AM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?

Yes, by three years, however we were raised quite differently.

Being raised differently is a given.  I was the older, my parents learned on me (the experimental model/lab rat/guinea pig) and were much easier on my younger sister.  Both my parents were younger kids in their families, I don't think they had a clue about what it is like being the oldest.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1075 on: March 02, 2017, 11:07:50 AM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?

Yes, by three years, however we were raised quite differently.

Being raised differently is a given.  I was the older, my parents learned on me (the experimental model/lab rat/guinea pig) and were much easier on my younger sister.  Both my parents were younger kids in their families, I don't think they had a clue about what it is like being the oldest.

There was more to it in our family, it was downright odd in some respects but not something I feel comfortable discussing online since the other people aren't here to refute what I say or to present their own interpretations of events.
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talltexan

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1076 on: March 02, 2017, 12:02:05 PM »
@GrimSqueaker I'm in the opposite boat: only child, contemplating the approach of my parents' dotage (mom turned 70 this year) without any genuine emotional support from a sibling. My parents appear to have approached financial security, which is great, but the burdens of managing them through end of life may still be significant.

But I can see how having a cranium/rectum confused sibling might make things even worse.

RetiredAt63

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1077 on: March 02, 2017, 02:18:11 PM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?

Yes, by three years, however we were raised quite differently.

Being raised differently is a given.  I was the older, my parents learned on me (the experimental model/lab rat/guinea pig) and were much easier on my younger sister.  Both my parents were younger kids in their families, I don't think they had a clue about what it is like being the oldest.

There was more to it in our family, it was downright odd in some respects but not something I feel comfortable discussing online since the other people aren't here to refute what I say or to present their own interpretations of events.

No problem, just thought it interesting that you were being cast in the typical oldest child responsible for everything role.  And lo and behold, you were the oldest. 
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1078 on: March 02, 2017, 03:55:05 PM »
Congrats @TheGrimSqueaker! What a weight off your shoulders! You sometimes wonder how in the world you could ever be possibly related to them or came out of the same uterus.

I was just looking at a birth order book - think Jimmy Carter and his brother Billy (American president and major goof-off.)  TGS, are you the older?

Yes, by three years, however we were raised quite differently.

Being raised differently is a given.  I was the older, my parents learned on me (the experimental model/lab rat/guinea pig) and were much easier on my younger sister.  Both my parents were younger kids in their families, I don't think they had a clue about what it is like being the oldest.

There was more to it in our family, it was downright odd in some respects but not something I feel comfortable discussing online since the other people aren't here to refute what I say or to present their own interpretations of events.

No problem, just thought it interesting that you were being cast in the typical oldest child responsible for everything role.  And lo and behold, you were the oldest.

What can I say: sometimes a stereotype has a basis in fact.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1079 on: March 02, 2017, 10:34:50 PM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.

I guess I'm just not that sentimental.  I see absolutely no reason why the property shouldn't be sold off if one person wants to keep it and the others don't want to buy them out.

This.  While I understand that 1 or 2 of 6 siblings (or whatever) might have emotional attachment to a home or farm or lake house, if they can't afford it, they can't afford it.  So if they can't pay the other siblings, the house is sold.  I wonder if it would help if something like this was laid out in the will.  "The house will be sold and the proceeds divided evenly between the 4 children. If any sibling or group of siblings is interested in purchasing the house, they can negotiate among each other.  If no agreement on price can be made within 120 days of my death, the house will be listed for sale."

I'm sure some families would still find ways to make it dramatic.  "You aren't even willing to negotiate!"  (Despite the fact that an offer is far less or more than market value.)  But at least that removes the pressure of thinking mom wanted the property kept in the family. 

My sister is the executor for my parents' estate.  She's out of state, but at the moment at least, I'm out of the country.  She's also the more organized one, though I'm sure both of us would do just fine.  I believe it entitles her to an extra bit of the estate (1%, maybe??), and I'm sure that will be money very well-earned. 

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1080 on: March 02, 2017, 11:16:30 PM »
AFAIK some of the rich business families (think multi-generational), now have clauses where if a relative wants to sell (property, shares etc), they have to offer it first to a relative to keep control in the family. This is to address problems where there are big family disputes and say a cousin, just to piss off the family, sells his/her share to the family's big rival and in the style of Dynasty or any soap opera, the rival buys out the original family's assets.

After a couple of generations, control gets diluted eg dividing a company amongst 50 cousins etc. so these clauses are vital say if you are from a Ford family or a Kennedy family type.

To keep on topic, I spoke to a friend today and she told me how her siblings' claws came out when she was made POA. While her mother has since passed away, the POA still is a cause of resentment in her family. A poisoned chalice for her if anything.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1081 on: March 09, 2017, 11:02:48 AM »
When my Dad died, it came to our attention that he still had my sister and I listed on an IRA as beneficiaries (even though he had been remarried for some time).  I knew in my heart that he intended that money to go to his wife.  The beneficiary elections had been set up before he and my stepmother met when my sister and I were minors (I was 30 and my sister 34 when he died).

When the payout came, I took a couple thousand  of my half and put it in an account for my DD (Dad's granddaughter) as I knew he would like her to have something from him since she was so young when he died and signed the rest over to my stepmother.  My older sister (who has since passed) took the money and ran!  Being mustachian made it an easy choice for me as I didn't NEED the money and I know it really helped my stepmother survive after my Dad died. 

God help us all when my mother and stepfather pass.  My stepsister has already blown through the inheritance her mom left, doesn't work . . . and will be waiting with her hand out when the time comes.  I told my mom they need to have their wishes spelled out in stone as I'm not going to try to make responsible and fair decisions with someone who operates the way she does.


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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1082 on: March 09, 2017, 11:37:52 AM »

When the payout came, I took a couple thousand  of my half and put it in an account for my DD (Dad's granddaughter) as I knew he would like her to have something from him since she was so young when he died and signed the rest over to my stepmother.  My older sister (who has since passed) took the money and ran!  Being mustachian made it an easy choice for me as I didn't NEED the money and I know it really helped my stepmother survive after my Dad died. 


buchanaj -- What a wonderful gesture!! It is nice to hear stories of decency prevailing over greed. Thank you for doing the right thing.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1083 on: March 10, 2017, 08:06:34 AM »
Many years ago, we had a case at work where an employee has named his long term girl friend as beneficiary of an employer life insurance policy- however HR did not process it properly (did not get the required witness signatures) and the insurance company ruled it invalid and paid out to his siblings (there were several). They all turned the money over to the girlfriend.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1084 on: March 10, 2017, 09:07:00 AM »
Many years ago, we had a case at work where an employee has named his long term girl friend as beneficiary of an employer life insurance policy- however HR did not process it properly (did not get the required witness signatures) and the insurance company ruled it invalid and paid out to his siblings (there were several). They all turned the money over to the girlfriend.

That's good, otherwise it does sound like your company would face a serious lawsuit from the girlfriend.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1085 on: March 10, 2017, 12:33:00 PM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.
Yep.  When my mom and her three siblings inherited my grandpa's farm, one of them wanted ready cash instead.  Fortunately, the other three had enough money to partially buy her out, and she was fine with keeping some land - otherwise, there would've been problems with breaking up the farm.

(As it was, it's now technically divided into three equal sections and one smaller section, but still being managed together, which makes everything a lot easier.)

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1086 on: March 10, 2017, 12:40:45 PM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.
Yep.  When my mom and her three siblings inherited my grandpa's farm, one of them wanted ready cash instead.  Fortunately, the other three had enough money to partially buy her out, and she was fine with keeping some land - otherwise, there would've been problems with breaking up the farm.

(As it was, it's now technically divided into three equal sections and one smaller section, but still being managed together, which makes everything a lot easier.)

Some families use life insurance to balance out a lopsided estate so that no asset has to be divided or owned jointly. "OK, Johnny gets the house, Susie gets the investment property, and DeShawn gets the art collection, movable assets, and bank accounts" doesn't always ensure an equitable split. Insurance can even it out.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1087 on: March 10, 2017, 12:42:52 PM »
reviewing these stories, I'm really seeing the argument for taking out enough life insurance that you can provide liquidity to siblings/heirs for buying out each others' stakes in a real estate-type property.
Yep.  When my mom and her three siblings inherited my grandpa's farm, one of them wanted ready cash instead.  Fortunately, the other three had enough money to partially buy her out, and she was fine with keeping some land - otherwise, there would've been problems with breaking up the farm.

(As it was, it's now technically divided into three equal sections and one smaller section, but still being managed together, which makes everything a lot easier.)

Some families use life insurance to balance out a lopsided estate so that no asset has to be divided or owned jointly. "OK, Johnny gets the house, Susie gets the investment property, and DeShawn gets the art collection, movable assets, and bank accounts" doesn't always ensure an equitable split. Insurance can even it out.

Yup, that's essentially what my Dad did.  Older sister got one property, I got another property, Younger sister got life insurance policy essentially equal to the value of our properties so she could, in theory, buy her own.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1088 on: March 10, 2017, 04:55:23 PM »
... but the burdens of managing them [parents] through end of life may still be significant.

But I can see how having a cranium/rectum confused sibling might make things even worse.

My mother-in-law went into the hospital this week.   At this point we don't know for sure whether she'll make it.  She's about 95.

I asked my lovely wife if her sister had shown up, or if they had even told her about the situation.

The response from her brother was, "She'll find out about it when she gets the letter from the executor of the estate."

After what the sister did when her father and aunt died, I can't find it in my heart to disagree with the decision of my wife and her two brothers.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1089 on: March 11, 2017, 09:31:54 AM »
........After what the sister did when her father and aunt died, I can't find it in my heart......

Please don't leave us hanging like that.   Could you find it in your heart to tell the story?

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1090 on: March 11, 2017, 11:20:40 AM »
I loved my Mom very much... at her funeral our cousin came up to me and asked for a specific painting that my Mom had stored in the attic. AT THE FUNERAL...

I can't even remember my response. In the days after the funeral I told my brother what she's said. My brother said she did the same thing to my MOM at her Mother's (my Grandma's) funeral.

I don't care who is in that picture ... she isn't getting it.

Petty... yes I am.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1091 on: March 11, 2017, 07:35:43 PM »
........After what the sister did when her father and aunt died, I can't find it in my heart......
Please don't leave us hanging like that.   Could you find it in your heart to tell the story?

earlier in the thread: http://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/antimustachian-wall-of-shame-and-comedy/inheritance-drama-you-got-any-stories-wanted/msg1087471/#msg1087471
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markbike528CBX

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1092 on: March 11, 2017, 07:59:02 PM »
Thanks planejane!   There are so many bad sister stories, I forget which one is which.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1093 on: March 11, 2017, 08:02:51 PM »
I loved my Mom very much... at her funeral our cousin came up to me and asked for a specific painting that my Mom had stored in the attic. AT THE FUNERAL...

I can't even remember my response. In the days after the funeral I told my brother what she's said. My brother said she did the same thing to my MOM at her Mother's (my Grandma's) funeral.

I don't care who is in that picture ... she isn't getting it.

Petty... yes I am.

That happened to my MIL. One of her nieces came up to ask for specific porcelain from her mother at the wake that was promised to her. She had just spent the last week organising the funeral. Talk about inappropriate and I understand why she was keen but jeez...don't know if she ever gave the porcelain though.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1094 on: March 15, 2017, 07:47:17 PM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1095 on: March 16, 2017, 07:59:27 AM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.
Aren't they also free from federal tax? This never occurred to me as a way to avoid estate tax/death tax. Interesting.
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1096 on: March 16, 2017, 08:51:25 AM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.
Aren't they also free from federal tax? This never occurred to me as a way to avoid estate tax/death tax. Interesting.

My friend was the beneficiary of his motjer's life insurance policy. That was the only thing she was able to leave him since all of her assets were used in her nursing home care.

I never thought of that aspect of life insurance. It isnt useful to me since DH does not  need cash if I die, and it is not a priority to leave anyone else  money when I die. But that use f life insurance seemed practical.

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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1097 on: March 16, 2017, 09:02:53 AM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.

You've probably handled this properly, but a general warning:  Many life insurance policies are structured like an annuity.  This makes them taxable on the federal level (and presumably also on some state levels).  And just because the insurance sales guy says the tax is inconsequential or non-existent, does not make it so.  (Life lesson recently learned.)
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1098 on: March 17, 2017, 06:21:44 AM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.
I'm confused with how this is carried out on a joint account. How does anyone know what is inherited in a joint account vs what's already yours? 
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Re: Inheritance Drama: You Got Any? Stories Wanted.
« Reply #1099 on: March 17, 2017, 07:08:27 AM »
My state levies an inheritance tax on some distant relatives as well as all non-relatives who inherit as a result of a will, joint account, or transfer-on-death designation, but doesn't levy that tax on funds those same people receive as a result of being a beneficiary on a life insurance policy. I have no human dependents, but I still have life insurance to make things more flexible in terms of avoiding the state inheritance tax, both now and in the future. Life insurance is inexpensive at my age, but I will definitely reevaluate that decision when I am older and it becomes more expensive.
I'm confused with how this is carried out on a joint account. How does anyone know what is inherited in a joint account vs what's already yours?

I don't know about notquitefrugal's state.  But I do know that it varies by whether or not your state is a community property state.  In my state, which is a community property state, 50% of the value of the joint account as of the date of death (including accrued but not paid interest; not like that is any real world factor, but I'm dealing with an attorney) is included for purposes of the estate valuation for estate tax purposes.

What happens in actual fact is the attorney asks the executor to calculate the number and provide it to them, then the attorney puts that number into a big long legal document, then the executor signs that document and then the attorney submits that document to the probate court as part of the estate settlement process.  One could guess or take shortcuts or lie, but I'm sure there is some sort of statement or oath the executor must make about accuracy and completeness.  So in our case we figured it properly to the penny; fortunately it was an account with little activity and no interest, so easy to calculate.

For Vanguard accounts, you can call up a special department there and they'll run a report for you that does essentially the same thing.  Weirdly, in my state one gets a step-up in the entire basis (not just half of the account's basis) to value as of date of death.  I don't know why, but that's what I was told to do when I looked into it.

Again, this all varies state to state, so even though people say a lot of stuff about how estates work, the answer in almost every case is to consult an estate attorney in the applicable state who comes with good recommendations.
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