Author Topic: Getting ATTACKED on social media  (Read 8791 times)

gpyros85

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Getting ATTACKED on social media
« on: July 11, 2018, 03:56:35 PM »
So, I thought I would give a public service announcement and spread some MMM message gospel! WEEW Big MISTAKE. From what you think is a good public service message IT IS NOT, people do not take it lightly.

I was giving helpful advice regarding proper way to take out student loans in the US, I prefer pell grants and using community college and trade schools (I have done both)

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I am a world traveler, did expats in Mexico and China and my wife is from Columbia, we have seen poor and lived next to poor, Americans are NOT poor by a long shot and like to wah wah wah. (I didn't say it like this but much nicer). "I got an insult that somebody can travel the world and still not know jack shit" While, I did learn that US is a privileged country and we have A LOT of social resources that many would DREAM off, take advantage, this is the message I was sending.


Nevertheless, social media and MMM is bound to start an argument.  BEWARE

jinga nation

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2018, 04:08:22 PM »
So, I thought I would give a public service announcement and spread some MMM message gospel! WEEW Big MISTAKE. From what you think is a good public service message IT IS NOT, people do not take it lightly.

I was giving helpful advice regarding proper way to take out student loans in the US, I prefer pell grants and using community college and trade schools (I have done both)

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I am a world traveler, did expats in Mexico and China and my wife is from Columbia, we have seen poor and lived next to poor, Americans are NOT poor by a long shot and like to wah wah wah. (I didn't say it like this but much nicer). "I got an insult that somebody can travel the world and still not know jack shit" While, I did learn that US is a privileged country and we have A LOT of social resources that many would DREAM off, take advantage, this is the message I was sending.


Nevertheless, social media and MMM is bound to start an argument.  BEWARE
There's your problem, right up there in bold.
Do-gooders rarely ever go unpunished.
Ever seen the crap Mr. MM gets in the media?

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2018, 08:03:02 PM »
So, I thought I would give a public service announcement and spread some MMM message gospel! WEEW Big MISTAKE. From what you think is a good public service message IT IS NOT, people do not take it lightly.

I was giving helpful advice regarding proper way to take out student loans in the US, I prefer pell grants and using community college and trade schools (I have done both)

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I am a world traveler, did expats in Mexico and China and my wife is from Columbia, we have seen poor and lived next to poor, Americans are NOT poor by a long shot and like to wah wah wah. (I didn't say it like this but much nicer). "I got an insult that somebody can travel the world and still not know jack shit" While, I did learn that US is a privileged country and we have A LOT of social resources that many would DREAM off, take advantage, this is the message I was sending.


Nevertheless, social media and MMM is bound to start an argument.  BEWARE
There's your problem, right up there in bold.
Do-gooders rarely ever go unpunished.
Ever seen the crap Mr. MM gets in the media?


You are exactly right, it is getting worse, used to be about meeting people and stuff (Myspace Days) now everybody and their mother in law has it and they all bring their negative opinions, it's really sad.. the only two I can stand is LinkedIn and MMM, Linkedin people have self control more professional crowd and probably have employers on there hah.

sapphail

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2018, 04:35:57 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.


MDM

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2018, 05:36:37 AM »
...in my experience....
Don't doubt that - but with 300 million people in the country, there are many different opinions.

maizeman

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2018, 05:54:35 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.

Out of curiosity, are you in America or judging based on international press coverage?

We've got a substantial irrational left to go with our irrational right. The former just, justifiably, gets a lot less international press because they lack a major news network dedicated to their views, and (perhaps as a result) haven't successfully nominated presidential candidates or gotten them elected.

Nickyd£g

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2018, 06:30:16 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.

Out of curiosity, are you in America or judging based on international press coverage?

We've got a substantial irrational left to go with our irrational right. The former just, justifiably, gets a lot less international press because they lack a major news network dedicated to their views, and (perhaps as a result) haven't successfully nominated presidential candidates or gotten them elected.

I'm Scottish, we give free baby boxes with everything you need for your baby once born https://www.parentclub.scot/baby-box

Re: regarding getting free stuff communism, I stayed and travelled in America for some time and met this attitude quite a lot. I was puzzled, as I don't see the issue with the government assisting people via tax revenue. It leads to a better educated, more egalitarian society IMO (the UK as a whole is not like this).

FatCat

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2018, 07:25:37 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

maizeman

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #8 on: July 12, 2018, 07:56:38 AM »
Yup. For someone visiting the USA, I imagine you also get a bit of a skewed sample. While the irrational "free stuff=communism" crowd includes many poor people, it also includes a fair number of the affluent and well off. In contrast, the irrational "the government should give everyone more more free stuff just because"* crowd is almost universally poor. As a result, the second group likely to be under represented among airplane passengers, at popular tourist destinations, and working at the sort of skilled-labor job sites where it can make economic sense to fly in additional talent from outside the country.

*And to clarify, I'm not arguing that having the government pay for specific things is always irrational.

Sibley

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #9 on: July 12, 2018, 08:51:09 AM »
There is ONE thing that I really wish that all governments gave out free: birth control.

Otherwise, OP, what did you think was going to happen? Social media is public, except the "rules" of being polite don't apply as strongly. That response was 100% foreseeable.

Chris22

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #10 on: July 12, 2018, 10:08:50 AM »
Otherwise, OP, what did you think was going to happen? Social media is public, except the "rules" of being polite don't apply as strongly. That response was 100% foreseeable.

Especially if the message is delivered in the "this what you do unless you are a giant fucking moron because this view is the only one that makes any sense at all" tone that is often displayed here... :)

sapphail

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #11 on: July 13, 2018, 02:34:46 AM »

Out of curiosity, are you in America or judging based on international press coverage?

We've got a substantial irrational left to go with our irrational right. The former just, justifiably, gets a lot less international press because they lack a major news network dedicated to their views, and (perhaps as a result) haven't successfully nominated presidential candidates or gotten them elected.

Not in America; based on discussions with Americans I've met here in Australia and on my travels. Of course, you're right, and I shouldn't generalize like that - the US is a big place with a lot of people who are going to have different opinions on the matter.

DS

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #12 on: July 13, 2018, 08:03:33 AM »
Can you copy and paste exactly what you wrote?

highlandterrier

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #13 on: July 13, 2018, 09:12:22 AM »
It's not necessarily the message about MMM that they objected to, more likely how you chose to communicate it.

This forum is very evangelical with it's message, and many people instantly switch off when they sense a doctrine is being put forward. It often comes across with a slightly superior tone which is a shame when generally people are just being enthusiastic - (I'm talking generally about doctrines , not about MMM specifically).

So you could choose to use it as a learning opportunity, and think about how you can phrase things differently with a view to helping people out.

vivophoenix

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #14 on: July 13, 2018, 09:48:24 AM »
So, I thought I would give a public service announcement and spread some MMM message gospel! WEEW Big MISTAKE. From what you think is a good public service message IT IS NOT, people do not take it lightly.

I was giving helpful advice regarding proper way to take out student loans in the US, I prefer pell grants and using community college and trade schools (I have done both)

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

I am a world traveler, did expats in Mexico and China and my wife is from Columbia, we have seen poor and lived next to poor, Americans are NOT poor by a long shot and like to wah wah wah. (I didn't say it like this but much nicer). "I got an insult that somebody can travel the world and still not know jack shit" While, I did learn that US is a privileged country and we have A LOT of social resources that many would DREAM off, take advantage, this is the message I was sending.


Nevertheless, social media and MMM is bound to start an argument.  BEWARE

if it was truly a public service announcement that means it was unsolicited

you then told people they should not seek four-year colleges which are currently seen as the best way to move socioeconomic status and told everyone to do two year college. which is often associated with blue-collar work with little prestige.

then you told people how much money they are entitled to, and that they should be happy with your prescribed amount.  and if they disagree with you, they are damaged.

then you told people how much stuff and quality of stuff their offspring deserve.

after that you probably did through in some remark about being a world traveler from another country. so you then identified yourself as an elite outsider talking down to the ignorant unwashed masses.

"if only you lived your lives right,  you could be like me."

did anyone ask to be like you?

and then you come running back to your cult members to talk about how abused you were.

« Last Edit: July 13, 2018, 09:53:16 AM by vivophoenix »

DS

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #15 on: July 13, 2018, 11:10:07 AM »
after that you probably did through in some remark about being a world traveler from another country. so you then identified yourself as an elite outsider talking down to the ignorant unwashed masses.

this is where i was turned off reading the original post. what more could we add to someone who has seen it all?

Just Joe

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #16 on: July 13, 2018, 11:26:30 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

Remember, international traveling Americans automatically represent a group with at least a little more money than the average working stiff.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2018, 11:30:11 AM by Just Joe »

BTDretire

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #17 on: July 13, 2018, 01:10:25 PM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

 I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.

Dabnasty

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #18 on: July 13, 2018, 02:09:58 PM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Raymond Reddington

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #19 on: July 13, 2018, 02:54:34 PM »
A wise man once said:

"Teach someone to fish, and they'll still vote for the guy that promises to give them a free fish"

Whether or not the promise is delivered on is the subject of much debate. But the principle (re: voting) is definitely correct.

Just Joe

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #20 on: July 13, 2018, 03:44:17 PM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.

I don't care either way. I'm not retiring early anytime soon. Got a later start at this MMM thing than the rest of you.

My fascination lies with the folks who complain about gov't and various political persuasions, want gov't handouts for themselves and nobody else and then vote incongruently with the things they talk at length about.

BTDretire

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #21 on: July 15, 2018, 08:43:56 AM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Does the fact that, "the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare", relieve a guilty conscious?

Sibley

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #22 on: July 15, 2018, 09:31:51 AM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Does the fact that, "the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare", relieve a guilty conscious?

Or maybe its just a statement of fact. I'm sure that there's plenty that you do that someone would consider to be morally problematic. Live and let live.

BTDretire

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #23 on: July 15, 2018, 10:38:00 AM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Does the fact that, "the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare", relieve a guilty conscious?

Or maybe its just a statement of fact. I'm sure that there's plenty that you do that someone would consider to be morally problematic. Live and let live.
Just asking! :-)

englishteacheralex

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #24 on: July 15, 2018, 10:48:35 AM »
I'm consistently blown away by people who post anything on social media except pictures. Why...why would you do that? is what I always think while I scroll. Most of the time I just hide people who post too much stuff that has an opinion. I don't really even care what the opinion is. I don't care about opinions on social media.

What do I want to see on social media? I mean, I know there have been endless think pieces about how this is harmful, but honestly I just want curated pictures of your life. I like seeing the wedding you went to and the pictures of your kids. I like seeing the happy moments of your vacation. These pictures don't make me feel bad about my own life and they don't make me feel envious or unrealistic about how awesome your life is. I know your hair often looks dreadful, just like mine, and you just had a fight with your husband this morning, just like I did--I know the Instagram pictures are just the highlight reel. I know what life actually is like. Isn't that just the basis of good small talk, though? I like the highlight reel! It's charming! And then I know a little about what's going on in your life these days, and that's all I really wanted.

Opinions are best discussed at dinner at my house with a glass of wine. Maybe that's the problem? People don't get together for dinner enough and use social media as a substitute?


maizeman

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #25 on: July 15, 2018, 10:55:52 AM »
I'm consistently blown away by people who post anything on social media except pictures. Why...why would you do that? is what I always think while I scroll. Most of the time I just hide people who post too much stuff that has an opinion. I don't really even care what the opinion is. I don't care about opinions on social media.

I'd broaden that to include generic status updates: "I'm moving to city Y because I got a new job!" and the like. But posting about politics on social media seems like a recipe for a bad time. I like talking politics with certain people whose logic and reasoning I respect, even when I disagree with them. I'm not at all interested in the political views of people I think I probably went to high school with, but I cannot say for sure because they must have changed their last name when they got married and their profile photo is some infant/toddler I've never met.

Make a commitment to educate yourself on the issues before each election, and have at least one friend whose judgement you trust to tell you if anyone bad enough is happening that you need to take more extreme action between elections. Then get good filtering extensions for facebook/twitter/etc, load them up with words like "trump" "obamacare" "republican" "democratic" and life gets a lot lower stress.

iris lily

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #26 on: July 15, 2018, 11:20:55 AM »
I'm consistently blown away by people who post anything on social media except pictures. Why...why would you do that? is what I always think while I scroll. Most of the time I just hide people who post too much stuff that has an opinion. I don't really even care what the opinion is. I don't care about opinions on social media.

What do I want to see on social media? I mean, I know there have been endless think pieces about how this is harmful, but honestly I just want curated pictures of your life. I like seeing the wedding you went to and the pictures of your kids. I like seeing the happy moments of your vacation. These pictures don't make me feel bad about my own life and they don't make me feel envious or unrealistic about how awesome your life is. I know your hair often looks dreadful, just like mine, and you just had a fight with your husband this morning, just like I did--I know the Instagram pictures are just the highlight reel. I know what life actually is like. Isn't that just the basis of good small talk, though? I like the highlight reel! It's charming! And then I know a little about what's going on in your life these days, and that's all I really wanted.

Opinions are best discussed at dinner at my house with a glass of wine. Maybe that's the problem? People don't get together for dinner enough and use social media as a substitute?
I love this post!
That is all.

iris lily

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #27 on: July 15, 2018, 11:29:14 AM »
I'm consistently blown away by people who post anything on social media except pictures. Why...why would you do that? is what I always think while I scroll. Most of the time I just hide people who post too much stuff that has an opinion. I don't really even care what the opinion is. I don't care about opinions on social media.

I'd broaden that to include generic status updates: "I'm moving to city Y because I got a new job!" and the like. But posting about politics on social media seems like a recipe for a bad time. I like talking politics with certain people whose logic and reasoning I respect, even when I disagree with them. I'm not at all interested in the political views of people I think I probably went to high school with, but I cannot say for sure because they must have changed their last name when they got married and their profile photo is some infant/toddler I've never met.

Make a commitment to educate yourself on the issues before each election, and have at least one friend whose judgement you trust to tell you if anyone bad enough is happening that you need to take more extreme action between elections. Then get good filtering extensions for facebook/twitter/etc, load them up with words like "trump" "obamacare" "republican" "democratic" and life gets a lot lower stress.

Last year my friend said somehing to the effect that her Facebook newsfeed has lots of news about Trump, politics, the government, etc  I was puzzled because my FB newsfeed is full of posts about flowers and kittens. Oh wait, it is actually puppies not kittens, haha (because I subscribes to bulldog rescue sites.)

I didnt understand how anyone got world news from FB, but now I understand that one has to read ďnewsĒ at those other sites and then FB grabs your contact info to shove content from these sites to your newsfeed.

But I am immune to all of that because I doNt read news on websites..

And my FB feed contnues to be lilies and bulldogs this time of year, and irises and bulldogs in the spring.it is very peaceful and lovely in my FB feed!
« Last Edit: July 15, 2018, 11:31:25 AM by iris lily »

DreamFIRE

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #28 on: July 15, 2018, 12:08:15 PM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.

???  A family of 4  (married couple with 2 kids) earning $50K/yr isn't paying ANY federal income tax.  They are the ones being subsidized by single people with the same household income.  The family isn't doing the subsidizing.

Dabnasty

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #29 on: July 15, 2018, 01:29:25 PM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Does the fact that, "the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare", relieve a guilty conscious?

I don't see how this is any different than claiming all available tax deductions in retirement. You're painting a picture of working low income families subsidizing retired millionaires but the same argument can be made that anyone paying any form of tax is "subsizing" anyone who gets any form of government benefit.

To answer the question, no, I still have a guilty conscience. I'm currently covered by my employer so the ACA subsidies don't apply to me but the guilty conscience is more a matter of partaking in luxuries while others can't afford the necessities. Taxes don't enter into it.



TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2018, 04:13:29 PM »
I'm consistently blown away by people who post anything on social media except pictures. Why...why would you do that? is what I always think while I scroll. Most of the time I just hide people who post too much stuff that has an opinion. I don't really even care what the opinion is. I don't care about opinions on social media.

What do I want to see on social media? I mean, I know there have been endless think pieces about how this is harmful, but honestly I just want curated pictures of your life. I like seeing the wedding you went to and the pictures of your kids. I like seeing the happy moments of your vacation. These pictures don't make me feel bad about my own life and they don't make me feel envious or unrealistic about how awesome your life is. I know your hair often looks dreadful, just like mine, and you just had a fight with your husband this morning, just like I did--I know the Instagram pictures are just the highlight reel. I know what life actually is like. Isn't that just the basis of good small talk, though? I like the highlight reel! It's charming! And then I know a little about what's going on in your life these days, and that's all I really wanted.

Opinions are best discussed at dinner at my house with a glass of wine. Maybe that's the problem? People don't get together for dinner enough and use social media as a substitute?

Well, in *your* circles, opinions are best discussed at dinner, but my FB is jam packed with academics and professionals who post brilliant and insightful articles and statements that expand my perspective all the time. Many of my FB connections arenít people who I have dinner with, but whose opinions I am very interested in.

When you get a person who gets paid for their opinion (academic, professional, etc) to come to a dinner party the conversation can become badass.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2018, 10:27:16 PM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

Remember, international traveling Americans automatically represent a group with at least a little more money than the average working stiff.

The world traveler was mentioned in a separate post then that 75k comment. I think I was referring to the complainy pants in the US regarding government subsidiary and basically how GOOD we have it in this country...  It was kind of meant to be a face slap moment where Americans don't really know poor.. I am talking about living conditions with kids running around with no shoes in a moldy apartment, I have been to friends wives family home, it was very very sad. Then I hear on the other hand people in the US complain about not getting diapers for FREE on top of their monthly housing allowance and free food... Then they take advantage. Hell, I know 3 people that NEVER held a job, collect welfare and are now turning 30... No physical disabilities NOTHING.. This is the crowd I am referring to... Now if you are in NEED, truly have no intentions on staying long on the support then power to you! Take it... I HATE THE MOOCHERS and seem to meet a lot, my wife can't STOP meeting them... Women that refuse to marry their husband that makes 70k/year and claims she lives with mom and has 2 kids to get free daycare and stamps...

Again, this is my observation and opinion...   

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #32 on: July 15, 2018, 10:29:21 PM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

 I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.


Everything I am referring to regarding the abuse of welfare is ILLEGAL... However, what you mentioned is LEGAL use of the laws.... Laws are laws, hence one reason why rich always stay ahead of the game, they "follow the law" and completely understand it and use it to their advantage.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #33 on: July 15, 2018, 10:35:08 PM »

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Yep.
This was a big mistake.
Thatís an insanely condescending and judgemental statement and Iím not surprised it got vicious backlash on social media. If no one is asking you for your opinion on their finances, they are not about to appreciate your judgement.

I am known for being a painfully direct and blunt person and even I donít get a negative response when talking openly about frugality and Mustachianism because I donít start from a position of judgement.

Sure, I have some people that will get a ďthatís stupid and wasteful and you know it is so donít be stupidĒ but those are people who are specifically coming to me for the facepunch that they know they need because Iíve slowly brought them along to a place where they actively want it.

What you did was the equivalent of walk into a room full of people and announce to everyone there that you are smarter then they are. Youíre surprised it triggered a retaliatory response?


I actually wasn't directing it at anybody in particular, a financial blogger made a comment about 70k is not a good salary, I countered and said for a single person it is a AWESOME salary... then said if somebody is struggling on 70k it is a budget issue... Heck there was another post on here for a single woman (in NYC) was struggling on 43k but her spending # were out of control...

Maybe I came off harsh and cold.... I am a very direct person also and I don't like to beat about the "bush" per se....   Thinking back maybe I was being a "bully" also and made the people like you say automatically judge me... I could of mentioned it better.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #34 on: July 15, 2018, 10:37:27 PM »

I mentioned that 75k is a good income in the US for a single person and if you have budget issues at that level it is a reflection in the mirror (BIG MISTAKE)

Yep.
This was a big mistake.
Thatís an insanely condescending and judgemental statement and Iím not surprised it got vicious backlash on social media. If no one is asking you for your opinion on their finances, they are not about to appreciate your judgement.

I am known for being a painfully direct and blunt person and even I donít get a negative response when talking openly about frugality and Mustachianism because I donít start from a position of judgement.

Sure, I have some people that will get a ďthatís stupid and wasteful and you know it is so donít be stupidĒ but those are people who are specifically coming to me for the facepunch that they know they need because Iíve slowly brought them along to a place where they actively want it.

What you did was the equivalent of walk into a room full of people and announce to everyone there that you are smarter then they are. Youíre surprised it triggered a retaliatory response?

Maybe I came off harsh, however with a forum full of "mustachians" I make a valid point...

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #35 on: July 15, 2018, 10:55:00 PM »
Can you copy and paste exactly what you wrote?

Of course, I blocked out the names because I don't want to slander anybody without their presence.  I actually got some "hearts" so just the outlines want to argue...

The 75k actually was worded different in the blog than actually written...
« Last Edit: July 15, 2018, 10:57:00 PM by gpyros85 »

Warlord1986

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #36 on: July 16, 2018, 07:54:14 AM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

Remember, international traveling Americans automatically represent a group with at least a little more money than the average working stiff.

The world traveler was mentioned in a separate post then that 75k comment. I think I was referring to the complainy pants in the US regarding government subsidiary and basically how GOOD we have it in this country...  It was kind of meant to be a face slap moment where Americans don't really know poor.. I am talking about living conditions with kids running around with no shoes in a moldy apartment, I have been to friends wives family home, it was very very sad. Then I hear on the other hand people in the US complain about not getting diapers for FREE on top of their monthly housing allowance and free food... Then they take advantage. Hell, I know 3 people that NEVER held a job, collect welfare and are now turning 30... No physical disabilities NOTHING.. This is the crowd I am referring to... Now if you are in NEED, truly have no intentions on staying long on the support then power to you! Take it... I HATE THE MOOCHERS and seem to meet a lot, my wife can't STOP meeting them... Women that refuse to marry their husband that makes 70k/year and claims she lives with mom and has 2 kids to get free daycare and stamps...

Again, this is my observation and opinion...   

The sentence I bolded is interesting. You seem to know an awful lot about these women's circumstances and lives. How is that?

I've traveled a little bit myself. I appreciate that America is much richer than a lot of places. But nobody wants to hear someone who is wealthy enough to go to Cambodia tell them they need to pull back the spending.

maizeman

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #37 on: July 16, 2018, 07:57:15 AM »
Having kids in order get free daycare doesn't seem like an economically effective strategy.

jinga nation

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #38 on: July 16, 2018, 10:02:18 AM »
My fascination lies with the folks who complain about gov't and various political persuasions, want gov't handouts for themselves and nobody else and then vote incongruently with the things they talk at length about.

Who also complain while working for the federal govt.  Come to my workplace. This is the uniformed personnel and govt civilians we're talking about, who also do jack but berate the contractors working.

thesis

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #39 on: July 16, 2018, 12:28:08 PM »
@gpyros85 I feel your pain.

I'm an external processor, so I really prefer to speak my ideas out loud. The whole financial independence thing really excites me, and proper money management has been a huge passion of mine for a long time, so I often try to speak out on fb.

I think the dislike started when I wrote about how I was excited for a family member buying a house but only because that person is good with money and that sometimes buying a house is a bad decision. This was somehow read as "people who buy houses are idiots". Not what I said, I don't have any idea how that message came across, but sometimes you just have to underestimate people's maturity on social media. I also wrote a lot about minimalism, and several friends got to thinking, specifically contrary to what I had said, that I thought all expensive purchases were bad purchases. Why, just...why can't people get it right?

Some friends have benefited from what I say, but mostly those with disposable income. One friend told me it was encouraging to see me work toward my goals since he knows that if he doesn't the money washes away, so he has been encouraged to be more intentional about his spending. Awesome! Mostly the stealth-wealth crowd get a lot from the information but of course they don't typically respond on social media, so it may be easy to feel you are alone.

I've switched my tactics. I post things about the advantages of starting your 401k, how a higher savings rate than normal (I only use lower numbers to entice) can make a huge difference in your ability to survive a layoff, etc. THIS seems to be working much better, draws no hate, and gets more likes (for whatever that is worth). Sometimes I do want to go MMM on some people's asses, but people hate being shamed just as much as they love shaming shamers. Make the information valuable to them, keep your judgements to yourself. And there's nothing wrong with believing people make piss poor decisions, you just have to be clever about convincing them to change and do have to genuinely hope things go well for them.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #40 on: July 16, 2018, 04:27:33 PM »

Then my wife was giving advice how to save money on baby expenses to some moms, then the subject turned into the government should just pay for it why should I worry... Then it turned into a ranting fest how the government doesn't provide diapers wah wah wah....

Does any country actually do this? I'm especially surprised to hear this coming from Americans, who in my experience tend to regard the government giving people stuff as tantamount to communism.



In my experience there are some like you described, but also quite a large number that feels like the government should give them free everything.

...and then vote for the guy that is least likely to deliver anything like that. I'm surrounded by people who in one sentence will complain about those darn socialists and then shortly after talk about how the gov't ought to do things for them...

Remember, international traveling Americans automatically represent a group with at least a little more money than the average working stiff.

The world traveler was mentioned in a separate post then that 75k comment. I think I was referring to the complainy pants in the US regarding government subsidiary and basically how GOOD we have it in this country...  It was kind of meant to be a face slap moment where Americans don't really know poor.. I am talking about living conditions with kids running around with no shoes in a moldy apartment, I have been to friends wives family home, it was very very sad. Then I hear on the other hand people in the US complain about not getting diapers for FREE on top of their monthly housing allowance and free food... Then they take advantage. Hell, I know 3 people that NEVER held a job, collect welfare and are now turning 30... No physical disabilities NOTHING.. This is the crowd I am referring to... Now if you are in NEED, truly have no intentions on staying long on the support then power to you! Take it... I HATE THE MOOCHERS and seem to meet a lot, my wife can't STOP meeting them... Women that refuse to marry their husband that makes 70k/year and claims she lives with mom and has 2 kids to get free daycare and stamps...

Again, this is my observation and opinion...   

The sentence I bolded is interesting. You seem to know an awful lot about these women's circumstances and lives. How is that?

I've traveled a little bit myself. I appreciate that America is much richer than a lot of places. But nobody wants to hear someone who is wealthy enough to go to Cambodia tell them they need to pull back the spending.

Wife meets a majority through the childrenís school, she is active, get invited out to mommy play dates etc etc.. people are pretty open with these issues! Have and see no wrong in what they are doing. One finally got married because found out they get better support with military benefits. Still cheats on her husband 3 nights a week..

BTDretire

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #41 on: July 16, 2018, 07:57:58 PM »
I heard there is a large forum of people that think it is moral to have $1M + of investments and have their healthcare subsidized by a hardworking, taxpaying family of 4 earning $50,000 a year.
Save it for the ACA threads. You've made this point in multiple threads now and people are willing to discuss the justifications (such as not punishing individuals who are responsible with their money) but I think you just like to throw it out there for the way it sounds. Sure, low earners subsidize high savers who retired early. High earners subsidize them to a greater extent. low and high earners both subsidize those who truly can't afford their own healthcare. Sometimes you've got to take the bad with the good, the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare.

Does the fact that, "the government can't analyze every individuals situation and decide whether each person deserves subsidized healthcare", relieve a guilty conscious?

I don't see how this is any different than claiming all available tax deductions in retirement.

 Your not the only one that sees no difference between getting money from the government and giving less money to the government. I just happen to think there is a difference.

Raymond Reddington

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #42 on: July 16, 2018, 09:14:07 PM »
@gpyros85 I feel your pain.

I'm an external processor, so I really prefer to speak my ideas out loud. The whole financial independence thing really excites me, and proper money management has been a huge passion of mine for a long time, so I often try to speak out on fb.

I think the dislike started when I wrote about how I was excited for a family member buying a house but only because that person is good with money and that sometimes buying a house is a bad decision. This was somehow read as "people who buy houses are idiots". Not what I said, I don't have any idea how that message came across, but sometimes you just have to underestimate people's maturity on social media. I also wrote a lot about minimalism, and several friends got to thinking, specifically contrary to what I had said, that I thought all expensive purchases were bad purchases. Why, just...why can't people get it right?

Some friends have benefited from what I say, but mostly those with disposable income. One friend told me it was encouraging to see me work toward my goals since he knows that if he doesn't the money washes away, so he has been encouraged to be more intentional about his spending. Awesome! Mostly the stealth-wealth crowd get a lot from the information but of course they don't typically respond on social media, so it may be easy to feel you are alone.

I've switched my tactics. I post things about the advantages of starting your 401k, how a higher savings rate than normal (I only use lower numbers to entice) can make a huge difference in your ability to survive a layoff, etc. THIS seems to be working much better, draws no hate, and gets more likes (for whatever that is worth). Sometimes I do want to go MMM on some people's asses, but people hate being shamed just as much as they love shaming shamers. Make the information valuable to them, keep your judgements to yourself. And there's nothing wrong with believing people make piss poor decisions, you just have to be clever about convincing them to change and do have to genuinely hope things go well for them.

Of course. Realistically, it's because reading something negative about expensive purchases triggers them because it hits a nerve. So they feel compelled to rationalize, or even justify their own behavior, and it comes from aggressively reacting to commentary they perceive as negative, even if that isn't the main point in your posts.

People seem to always want that "at least you tried" pat on the back in life. How I learned was, you get that when you earn it, you don't get that to massage your ego. I don't believe in "we'll get 'em next time" - I believe in learning the lessons from not getting 'em this time, getting 'em next time, and then saying "we learned from our mistakes, now what could we have done better?" The need for validation, even for poor choices, is a psychological aspect to most people that I guess I will never understand. Better to be facepunched by a friend and change than facepunched by life itself.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #43 on: July 16, 2018, 09:43:54 PM »
@gpyros85 I feel your pain.

I'm an external processor, so I really prefer to speak my ideas out loud. The whole financial independence thing really excites me, and proper money management has been a huge passion of mine for a long time, so I often try to speak out on fb.

I think the dislike started when I wrote about how I was excited for a family member buying a house but only because that person is good with money and that sometimes buying a house is a bad decision. This was somehow read as "people who buy houses are idiots". Not what I said, I don't have any idea how that message came across, but sometimes you just have to underestimate people's maturity on social media. I also wrote a lot about minimalism, and several friends got to thinking, specifically contrary to what I had said, that I thought all expensive purchases were bad purchases. Why, just...why can't people get it right?

Some friends have benefited from what I say, but mostly those with disposable income. One friend told me it was encouraging to see me work toward my goals since he knows that if he doesn't the money washes away, so he has been encouraged to be more intentional about his spending. Awesome! Mostly the stealth-wealth crowd get a lot from the information but of course they don't typically respond on social media, so it may be easy to feel you are alone.

I've switched my tactics. I post things about the advantages of starting your 401k, how a higher savings rate than normal (I only use lower numbers to entice) can make a huge difference in your ability to survive a layoff, etc. THIS seems to be working much better, draws no hate, and gets more likes (for whatever that is worth). Sometimes I do want to go MMM on some people's asses, but people hate being shamed just as much as they love shaming shamers. Make the information valuable to them, keep your judgements to yourself. And there's nothing wrong with believing people make piss poor decisions, you just have to be clever about convincing them to change and do have to genuinely hope things go well for them.

Of course. Realistically, it's because reading something negative about expensive purchases triggers them because it hits a nerve. So they feel compelled to rationalize, or even justify their own behavior, and it comes from aggressively reacting to commentary they perceive as negative, even if that isn't the main point in your posts.

People seem to always want that "at least you tried" pat on the back in life. How I learned was, you get that when you earn it, you don't get that to massage your ego. I don't believe in "we'll get 'em next time" - I believe in learning the lessons from not getting 'em this time, getting 'em next time, and then saying "we learned from our mistakes, now what could we have done better?" The need for validation, even for poor choices, is a psychological aspect to most people that I guess I will never understand. Better to be facepunched by a friend and change than facepunched by life itself.


People would rather complain and cry about their misery and also have people join them when they are feeling this way. Being a problem solver in a time a crisis only gets awarded in a business type environment... If people are late on their rent or electric and you don't offer pity but try and help by finding the ROOT CAUSE... you will not get rewarded positively.

jinga nation

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #44 on: July 17, 2018, 05:44:40 AM »
@gpyros85 I feel your pain.

I'm an external processor, so I really prefer to speak my ideas out loud. The whole financial independence thing really excites me, and proper money management has been a huge passion of mine for a long time, so I often try to speak out on fb.

I think the dislike started when I wrote about how I was excited for a family member buying a house but only because that person is good with money and that sometimes buying a house is a bad decision. This was somehow read as "people who buy houses are idiots". Not what I said, I don't have any idea how that message came across, but sometimes you just have to underestimate people's maturity on social media. I also wrote a lot about minimalism, and several friends got to thinking, specifically contrary to what I had said, that I thought all expensive purchases were bad purchases. Why, just...why can't people get it right?

Some friends have benefited from what I say, but mostly those with disposable income. One friend told me it was encouraging to see me work toward my goals since he knows that if he doesn't the money washes away, so he has been encouraged to be more intentional about his spending. Awesome! Mostly the stealth-wealth crowd get a lot from the information but of course they don't typically respond on social media, so it may be easy to feel you are alone.

I've switched my tactics. I post things about the advantages of starting your 401k, how a higher savings rate than normal (I only use lower numbers to entice) can make a huge difference in your ability to survive a layoff, etc. THIS seems to be working much better, draws no hate, and gets more likes (for whatever that is worth). Sometimes I do want to go MMM on some people's asses, but people hate being shamed just as much as they love shaming shamers. Make the information valuable to them, keep your judgements to yourself. And there's nothing wrong with believing people make piss poor decisions, you just have to be clever about convincing them to change and do have to genuinely hope things go well for them.

Of course. Realistically, it's because reading something negative about expensive purchases triggers them because it hits a nerve. So they feel compelled to rationalize, or even justify their own behavior, and it comes from aggressively reacting to commentary they perceive as negative, even if that isn't the main point in your posts.

People seem to always want that "at least you tried" pat on the back in life. How I learned was, you get that when you earn it, you don't get that to massage your ego. I don't believe in "we'll get 'em next time" - I believe in learning the lessons from not getting 'em this time, getting 'em next time, and then saying "we learned from our mistakes, now what could we have done better?" The need for validation, even for poor choices, is a psychological aspect to most people that I guess I will never understand. Better to be facepunched by a friend and change than facepunched by life itself.


People would rather complain and cry about their misery and also have people join them when they are feeling this way. Being a problem solver in a time a crisis only gets awarded in a business type environment... If people are late on their rent or electric and you don't offer pity but try and help by finding the ROOT CAUSE... you will not get rewarded positively.

Bolded by me.

Misery loves company. And company loves more. Damn fools think group therapy will resolve this.
Being a problem solver in a business environment has got me in trouble too many times in the last 14 years.
Being a landlord and offering to resolve a rent issue has got me in trouble but the law is on my side in my state.
Humans are an ungrateful species. Social media brings out the worst of them. No one stops to think what they're writing (e.g. Elon Musk's pedo comment).
The solution is to get away from social media, stop ads for junk you don't need coming into your electronic devices, and do positive things for your health.
And HTFU. Don't sweat the small stuff.

Warlord1986

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #45 on: July 17, 2018, 06:32:05 AM »
Being a problem solver in a time a crisis only gets awarded in a business type environment... If people are late on their rent or electric and you don't offer pity but try and help by finding the ROOT CAUSE... you will not get rewarded positively.

I could not possibly disagree with you more.

Also, you are here complaining about not getting the results you want from your own approach and making excuses for why itís not working and blaming other people for why they werenít pursuaded by your argument.

You would rather conclude that being a problem solver is only rewarded in business than self-reflect on how problem solving and pursuasivemess require different approaches in a non business environment, and require especially different approaches on social media.

You seem to have come here asking for pity about being attacked on social media and for agreement about it being your audienceís fault for not receiving your message well, and donít seem too keen on figuring out the ROOT CAUSE of the failure of your approach.

You can cite examples of terrible people all you want, but that wonít chane the fact that you got backlash on social media because you failed to understand your audience and failed to craft a critical comment in a way that was likely to result in a restive response.

If the purpose of your comment was to express your disdain and judgement for people and the behaviours that you look down on them for, then CONGRATS! You succeeded!

If you actually wanted your ideas to be received positively, then you picked the exact wrong tactic and blaming your audience for the outcome makes you very similar to your audience.
You see that, right?

This is the smartest comment in this whole thread. And I'm pretty sure the OP really just wanted an excuse to shit on people.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #46 on: July 17, 2018, 08:16:35 AM »
@gpyros85 I feel your pain.

I'm an external processor, so I really prefer to speak my ideas out loud. The whole financial independence thing really excites me, and proper money management has been a huge passion of mine for a long time, so I often try to speak out on fb.

I think the dislike started when I wrote about how I was excited for a family member buying a house but only because that person is good with money and that sometimes buying a house is a bad decision. This was somehow read as "people who buy houses are idiots". Not what I said, I don't have any idea how that message came across, but sometimes you just have to underestimate people's maturity on social media. I also wrote a lot about minimalism, and several friends got to thinking, specifically contrary to what I had said, that I thought all expensive purchases were bad purchases. Why, just...why can't people get it right?

Some friends have benefited from what I say, but mostly those with disposable income. One friend told me it was encouraging to see me work toward my goals since he knows that if he doesn't the money washes away, so he has been encouraged to be more intentional about his spending. Awesome! Mostly the stealth-wealth crowd get a lot from the information but of course they don't typically respond on social media, so it may be easy to feel you are alone.

I've switched my tactics. I post things about the advantages of starting your 401k, how a higher savings rate than normal (I only use lower numbers to entice) can make a huge difference in your ability to survive a layoff, etc. THIS seems to be working much better, draws no hate, and gets more likes (for whatever that is worth). Sometimes I do want to go MMM on some people's asses, but people hate being shamed just as much as they love shaming shamers. Make the information valuable to them, keep your judgements to yourself. And there's nothing wrong with believing people make piss poor decisions, you just have to be clever about convincing them to change and do have to genuinely hope things go well for them.

Of course. Realistically, it's because reading something negative about expensive purchases triggers them because it hits a nerve. So they feel compelled to rationalize, or even justify their own behavior, and it comes from aggressively reacting to commentary they perceive as negative, even if that isn't the main point in your posts.

People seem to always want that "at least you tried" pat on the back in life. How I learned was, you get that when you earn it, you don't get that to massage your ego. I don't believe in "we'll get 'em next time" - I believe in learning the lessons from not getting 'em this time, getting 'em next time, and then saying "we learned from our mistakes, now what could we have done better?" The need for validation, even for poor choices, is a psychological aspect to most people that I guess I will never understand. Better to be facepunched by a friend and change than facepunched by life itself.


People would rather complain and cry about their misery and also have people join them when they are feeling this way. Being a problem solver in a time a crisis only gets awarded in a business type environment... If people are late on their rent or electric and you don't offer pity but try and help by finding the ROOT CAUSE... you will not get rewarded positively.

Bolded by me.

Misery loves company. And company loves more. Damn fools think group therapy will resolve this.
Being a problem solver in a business environment has got me in trouble too many times in the last 14 years.
Being a landlord and offering to resolve a rent issue has got me in trouble but the law is on my side in my state.
Humans are an ungrateful species. Social media brings out the worst of them. No one stops to think what they're writing (e.g. Elon Musk's pedo comment).
The solution is to get away from social media, stop ads for junk you don't need coming into your electronic devices, and do positive things for your health.
And HTFU. Don't sweat the small stuff.


Unfortunately, you I are right, also it was surprising to see that Elon Musk got caught up in it also. Itís a reason why large CEOs donít publicly speak out opinions and only are trained to speak facts. It is a slippery slope. Look what just happened to Pappa Johns CEO, nobody even really heard the original speech but it got twisted against him. The larger your voice the more you will bring out both sides of the opinion.

Dabnasty

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #47 on: July 17, 2018, 08:18:16 AM »
Wow. I can't believe how much we're hating on the OP.

Was their post to facebook lacking in tact? Sure. Was it ineffective in it's purpose? Probably. But I really didn't see it as being overly judgmental or "shitting" on others. When I read comments where people are making good money and complaining about how unfair it is, your damn right I want to tell them off. They're lucky to be where they are in life and to those who aren't so lucky, that complaining is offensive.That's not shitting on someone, that's honesty. I don't do it obviously, because facebook isn't the place for it.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #48 on: July 17, 2018, 08:22:50 AM »
Being a problem solver in a time a crisis only gets awarded in a business type environment... If people are late on their rent or electric and you don't offer pity but try and help by finding the ROOT CAUSE... you will not get rewarded positively.

I could not possibly disagree with you more.

Also, you are here complaining about not getting the results you want from your own approach and making excuses for why itís not working and blaming other people for why they werenít pursuaded by your argument.

You would rather conclude that being a problem solver is only rewarded in business than self-reflect on how problem solving and pursuasivemess require different approaches in a non business environment, and require especially different approaches on social media.

You seem to have come here asking for pity about being attacked on social media and for agreement about it being your audienceís fault for not receiving your message well, and donít seem too keen on figuring out the ROOT CAUSE of the failure of your approach.

You can cite examples of terrible people all you want, but that wonít chane the fact that you got backlash on social media because you failed to understand your audience and failed to craft a critical comment in a way that was likely to result in a restive response.

If the purpose of your comment was to express your disdain and judgement for people and the behaviours that you look down on them for, then CONGRATS! You succeeded!

If you actually wanted your ideas to be received positively, then you picked the exact wrong tactic and blaming your audience for the outcome makes you very similar to your audience.
You see that, right?

I am getting a lesson in Public Relations and learning there is no win win situation when it comes to public opinion..


Also, I never looked ďdownĒ on people, I was offering help and advice. Only time I thought negatively of somebody was when they are knowledgeable abusing the law.

I was trying to prompote better spending and savings habits on people in the main stream media. It did not work. The root cause as I am learning is that there is to many opinions and views to publicly speak. Which is why you donít see a lot of CEOs talk about public beliefs and opinions and the large ones that do (Chick Fil A, Hobby Lobby) have negative opinions about them, some of it is business model so they turn the negative into a positive.

The point is, it is difficult waters to navigate when dealing with public opinion. Most of the time better to say nothing and avoid trouble.

gpyros85

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Re: Getting ATTACKED on social media
« Reply #49 on: July 17, 2018, 08:30:39 AM »
Wow. I can't believe how much we're hating on the OP.

Was their post to facebook lacking in tact? Sure. Was it ineffective in it's purpose? Probably. But I really didn't see it as being overly judgmental or "shitting" on others. When I read comments where people are making good money and complaining about how unfair it is, your damn right I want to tell them off. They're lucky to be where they are in life and to those who aren't so lucky, that complaining is offensive.That's not shitting on someone, that's honesty. I don't do it obviously, because facebook isn't the place for it.


Thanks, you are correct, was trying to spread a message of, ďquit your complainingĒ and enjoy your life, it can be A LOT worse. (Worse than most people can even dream off)


I read every blog on the Mustacian form and this ďface slapĒ talk is exactly it..  I guess this is why I fell in love with this blog so much because I do relate.. we have a lot of complainy pants surrounding us.. it is part of the reason why the US ranks highly in wealth but low in full happiness...


However, just like the blog, it is outcast talk... it is a different way of life... I tested the waters to help shine the light and give a path to the main stream.. a lot of them simply donít want it..