THANK YOU, paddedhat, for refusing to apologize for your story or the way you told it. It was funny and enlightening to read your anecdote about this annoying person. Due to your vivid descriptions, I could very easily visualize Mr. Mafia Don and his irksome behavior, which amused me very much (this is a mark of good storytelling, btw). I, too, have noticed these "weird" posters to which you refer on this forum. They are looking to get offended and attempt to shame more boisterous posters such as yourself into toeing the line and constructing posts in a more "appropriate" fashion. In other words, they are attempting to censor your speech.
If you are so easily offended by a satirical anecdote and cannot fathom the idea that a man's writing style is separate from his character or how he behaves IRL, you're better off not reading posts here, as others have pointed out. This sub-topic is the 100% appropriate place to anonymously call out ridiculous people in your life for being "dicks", "douches", or <gasp> even "bitches" with reckless abandon and ought to remain that way. That's what makes it FUN. Remember fun? It's the thing no one's allowed to have anymore because it could be mildly offensive to someone you don't know and will most likely never meet.