Author Topic: Failure to Launch - Case Study  (Read 5245 times)

Slee_stack

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Failure to Launch - Case Study
« on: May 23, 2018, 11:43:20 AM »

ysette9

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2018, 12:00:17 PM »
I just saw that on NPR. Tangentially I find it sad that people will see his age, and only remember “millennial” and “good-for-nothing entitled mooch” and conveniently forget that he doesn’t represent an entire cohort of Americans.

I feel sorry for his kid.
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fell-like-rain

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2018, 12:01:42 PM »
The American stigma around folks living with their parents is really fascinating. Obviously, this is an extreme case where the guy became dependent, but what's wrong with living with your folks while young and single? Historically, people didn't move out until they were married, and sometimes not even then.

ysette9

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2018, 12:06:30 PM »
I think it is the part where he doesn’t have a job, doesn’t contribute to the household, and has been asked by his parents multiple times to leave that is causing ire. I can’t speak for everyone, but I feel like there is more acceptance of adult kids living with parents now if they are doing that while being productive members of society. My sister used that as a means to save for a down payment on her place. I see that as smart. On the other hand, our cousins living at home at 30 despite a good college education because he can’t or won’t work.... not so much.
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acroy

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2018, 12:18:15 PM »
I saw that, pretty funny
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mm1970

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2018, 01:20:02 PM »
I think it is the part where he doesnít have a job, doesnít contribute to the household, and has been asked by his parents multiple times to leave that is causing ire. I canít speak for everyone, but I feel like there is more acceptance of adult kids living with parents now if they are doing that while being productive members of society. My sister used that as a means to save for a down payment on her place. I see that as smart. On the other hand, our cousins living at home at 30 despite a good college education because he canít or wonít work.... not so much.
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Kimera757

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #6 on: May 24, 2018, 05:17:13 AM »
The American stigma around folks living with their parents is really fascinating. Obviously, this is an extreme case where the guy became dependent, but what's wrong with living with your folks while young and single? Historically, people didn't move out until they were married, and sometimes not even then.

Living with parents isn't a problem. Being a free-loader is a problem. And it will get worse; his parents are going to retire and then die at some point, so what is he going to do then?

In the States, a single employable person can't get on welfare (I dn't believe you qualify for TANF if you have no children, and if you did, no more than five years). In Canada they could, until they reach "retirement" age.

I can't read the National Post article on this (because it hates my adblock, even when I turn it off), so I'll read it at work. But the title includes the words "You Have To Work" which the freeloader didn't.

Slee_stack

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #7 on: May 24, 2018, 07:30:34 AM »
Oh boy...give a person enough rope...

https://www.buzzfeed.com/tanyachen/30-year-old-man-child-cnn-interview?utm_term=.wp7NZpOV3#.mqnOa7k50

I wonder if this guy hasn't spent too much time in the Weed.  He has classic symptoms of an over-the-top weed addled brain.  Everything is everyone else's fault...paranoia...reality disconnect..
« Last Edit: May 24, 2018, 07:34:24 AM by Slee_stack »

Just Joe

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #8 on: May 24, 2018, 07:40:22 AM »
He needs to open a window while building his model airplanes... ;)

Okay, he's an awkward fellow. Quit talking. Just get a job and move out. Why confirm that you are awkward with poorly delivered conversation?

What worries me is that being on TV might have made his chances of getting work even lower... Who needs a job interview with this guy when you can watch the clip?

marion10

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #9 on: May 24, 2018, 08:01:54 AM »
Also his parents mentioned telling him to sell his weapons. There may be also be afraid to have him in the house.

Laura33

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #10 on: May 24, 2018, 09:58:45 AM »
I think this is sad, and it's a shame it is being taken as an example of "these kids nowdays."  I heard from other sources that he lost custody of his kid, that he has a restraining order that prevents him from being within a certain distance of his kid, and that that's why the parents kicked him out (so they could see their grandchild).  IDK, restraining order + guns + that level of entitled obstreporousness suggests a tinge of personality disorder/mental illness, in a way that would scare me.  I'd want him gone too -- and then I'd change all the locks and install an alarm.
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Slee_stack

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #11 on: May 24, 2018, 10:16:08 AM »
Hopefully nobody stereotypes a generation from this guy....

I have (3) interns I'm mentoring at the moment and all of them are incredibly bright, excited individuals that want to learn and get things done.

Now they aren't an entire generation either...but obviously there's extremes everywhere...


I knew folks of my own age who were extremely pot addled and had similar lack of interest in supporting themselves.  They weren't as bad as this guy here though...  I suspect (and hope) very, very few are.

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Jaayse

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #13 on: May 31, 2018, 04:38:28 PM »
Honestly, he sounds a lot like my brother, who has schizophrenia.  Of course, my brother lives at home with my parents as their dependent at 32, but at least he holds a part time job and gets social security.
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Happily Irrelevant

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #14 on: May 31, 2018, 06:30:33 PM »
My son was slow to launch.  When they first leave home after high school it's sad.  The family will no longer be like it's been the last 18 years.  Then they move back home again after college.  The dynamics is different and you are glad when they leave.  Then if you are unlucky as the Mrs and I, they move back again.  Now they are 24ish.  You never thought it would be possible to dislike your own child as much as you do at this point.  The day the leave is better than anything you can possibly imagine.  Of course they eventually get married and have a grandchild.  Then all is forgiven.

jim555

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #15 on: May 31, 2018, 06:32:45 PM »
My son was slow to launch.  When they first leave home after high school it's sad.  The family will no longer be like it's been the last 18 years.  Then they move back home again after college.  The dynamics is different and you are glad when they leave.  Then if you are unlucky as the Mrs and I, they move back again.  Now they are 24ish.  You never thought it would be possible to dislike your own child as much as you do at this point.  The day the leave is better than anything you can possibly imagine.  Of course they eventually get married and have a grandchild.  Then all is forgiven.
Then they dump the grand child on you for daycare.  You can never escape.

mm1970

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #16 on: June 01, 2018, 11:02:10 AM »
My son was slow to launch.  When they first leave home after high school it's sad.  The family will no longer be like it's been the last 18 years.  Then they move back home again after college.  The dynamics is different and you are glad when they leave.  Then if you are unlucky as the Mrs and I, they move back again.  Now they are 24ish.  You never thought it would be possible to dislike your own child as much as you do at this point.  The day the leave is better than anything you can possibly imagine.  Of course they eventually get married and have a grandchild.  Then all is forgiven.
Then they dump the grand child on you for daycare.  You can never escape.
Not if you are both still working!

AnnaGrowsAMustache

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #17 on: June 01, 2018, 03:38:07 PM »
Let's not forget that the people who raised that lazy, entitled mooch are now the ones complaining about him. This is not a guy who was expected to have a little job after school, or to contribute to the family by doing chores or whatever, or to earn his own money and pay for his own hobbies. Apart from mental health issues, these failure to launch cases are always kids who weren't exposed to the real world and have no idea how to enter it or get along in it. My parents did exactly this with me. Nothing was ever discussed about a future or a plan or anything whatsoever after high school. I was a seriously dumb and ignorant 17 year old. It took me a good decade or 15 years of not fun times to get any traction and figure out what other people grew up knowing. My idiot parents did that. Obviously, I approached the solution somewhat differently than the guy in the article, but I feel kind of bad for him.

Happily Irrelevant

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #18 on: June 02, 2018, 01:04:35 PM »
My son was slow to launch.  When they first leave home after high school it's sad.  The family will no longer be like it's been the last 18 years.  Then they move back home again after college.  The dynamics is different and you are glad when they leave.  Then if you are unlucky as the Mrs and I, they move back again.  Now they are 24ish.  You never thought it would be possible to dislike your own child as much as you do at this point.  The day the leave is better than anything you can possibly imagine.  Of course they eventually get married and have a grandchild.  Then all is forgiven.
Then they dump the grand child on you for daycare.  You can never escape.

My wife would love that scenario.....for a month or so.  I'm so far successfully preventing her from moving across a few states to live next door to my son and build her life around the grandchild.  She is slowly realizing that grandkids grow up and start school so you can't spend time everyday with them. 

jim555

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #19 on: June 03, 2018, 12:11:01 PM »
Looks like he moved out..

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44337277

And he was a pain until the end, calling the cops on the parents over Legos.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #20 on: June 03, 2018, 12:24:54 PM »
Looks like he moved out..

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44337277

And he was a pain until the end, calling the cops on the parents over Legos.

The worst part is that the news said that he might move in with his cousin. First of all he just met the guy about 4 days ago. The guy was being Mr. Nice Guy helping him to move his junk to a storage facility. I bet he even drove his junky car to the guys house too. I wish someone would talk to the cousin and tell him not to allow this free loader deadbeat to stay with him. He will never get rid of him. It doesn't seem that he has any plans to work. I think his grand plan is to win that lawsuit at Best Buy for $300+K and that is what he plans to live on for the rest of his life. He won't even get a job to support his own kid! What kind of a man is that?

Warlord1986

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #21 on: June 04, 2018, 08:52:32 AM »
Let's not forget that the people who raised that lazy, entitled mooch are now the ones complaining about him...... Obviously, I approached the solution somewhat differently than the guy in the article, but I feel kind of bad for him.

I'm sympathetic to the parents. People can be good parents and their kids will still be fuck-ups. Source: my older brother is a complete fuck up. Shakespeare even said, "Good wombs have born bad sons."

This guys reads mentally ill to me. Normal people don't call the cops over legos.

stashja

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #22 on: June 04, 2018, 10:44:01 AM »
Heís not a kid, his parents want him and his two weapons out of their home, and he has a record for stalking and harassing a woman a decade ago. some journalism mentions these details.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2018, 08:51:33 PM by stashja »

o2bfree

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #23 on: June 04, 2018, 02:42:04 PM »
Let's not forget that the people who raised that lazy, entitled mooch are now the ones complaining about him. This is not a guy who was expected to have a little job after school, or to contribute to the family by doing chores or whatever, or to earn his own money and pay for his own hobbies. Apart from mental health issues, these failure to launch cases are always kids who weren't exposed to the real world and have no idea how to enter it or get along in it. My parents did exactly this with me. Nothing was ever discussed about a future or a plan or anything whatsoever after high school. I was a seriously dumb and ignorant 17 year old. It took me a good decade or 15 years of not fun times to get any traction and figure out what other people grew up knowing. My idiot parents did that. Obviously, I approached the solution somewhat differently than the guy in the article, but I feel kind of bad for him.

My parents did something similar. They ran a restaurant and apparently thought that my brother and I had no future doing anything other than working there. Lacking guidance in developing our own innate talents, my brother and I both floundered some and got in with the wrong crowds. Mom and dad supported bros destructive behavior by bailing him out of trouble again and again. He ended up dropping out of high school and eventually became homeless in middle-age. While I'm disgusted by what he did to the family over the years, I also feel a little sorry for him. He had many talents that could have been developed to help him succeed outside the restaurant business.

The folks ended up caring for his daughter for several years, and they were leading her down the same path, behaving as though there was no question she'd spend her life working at the restaurant. Fortunately, she had an aunt who exposed her to nursing, and niece managed to get through nursing school. When we all heard she was about to graduate, mom said, "Well, I'm glad she finished nursing school. That'll be a good fall-back."

I wouldn't call my folks idiots, but they were certainly narrow-minded. My mom at 89 still brags up waitressing like it's the best career ever.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2018, 02:24:51 PM by o2bfree »

Slee_stack

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #24 on: June 06, 2018, 02:47:36 PM »
Some of the backstory on the mooch is indeed disturbing.

His baby-momma says that he has harassed her with court hearings.

Since there is no monetary consequence for him 'as a poor person' to do so...and he has plenty of time on his hands and no responsibility...its like a game.

I'm hesitant to let him play the 'mentally ill card'.   He seems to be a manipulative jerk that feels the world owes him something.

mm1970

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #25 on: June 07, 2018, 02:06:49 PM »
Quote
When we all heard she was about to graduate, mom said, "Well, I'm glad she finished nursing school. That'll be a good fall-back."

I have a friend who was a cashier at a grocery store.  She was going to school also, but working FT at the store.  She was in CC majoring in art history. 

Long story but ended up transferring to a state school and changing her major twice, has a degree in chemical engineering.  (Which is how we met, at work!)  Her coworkers all said "that's a good fall back, but you'll be back at the grocery store in no time!"

That was 21 years ago...still not at the grocery store.

Roadrunner53

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #26 on: June 08, 2018, 09:02:19 AM »
Update on the deadbeat: https://www.syracuse.com/crime/index.ssf/2018/06/judge_evicted_son_michael_rotondo_faces_jail_if_he_doesnt_get_job_to_support_chi.html

He was indignant that the Judge insisted he get a job! He is just TOO busy. That must be what the 'little' people do...WORK!

Slee_stack

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #27 on: June 13, 2018, 02:30:17 PM »
Update on the deadbeat: https://www.syracuse.com/crime/index.ssf/2018/06/judge_evicted_son_michael_rotondo_faces_jail_if_he_doesnt_get_job_to_support_chi.html

He was indignant that the Judge insisted he get a job! He is just TOO busy. That must be what the 'little' people do...WORK!
Obviously he must focus all his energy on getting his son back....the son that is so important to him that he can't pony up $56 a week to support him.

And OF COURSE he has a '80s beater car that hes paid $10k to store over the last five years....I mean priorities right?



Just Joe

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Re: Failure to Launch - Case Study
« Reply #28 on: June 13, 2018, 02:46:44 PM »
Quote
When we all heard she was about to graduate, mom said, "Well, I'm glad she finished nursing school. That'll be a good fall-back."

I have a friend who was a cashier at a grocery store.  She was going to school also, but working FT at the store.  She was in CC majoring in art history. 

Long story but ended up transferring to a state school and changing her major twice, has a degree in chemical engineering.  (Which is how we met, at work!)  Her coworkers all said "that's a good fall back, but you'll be back at the grocery store in no time!"

That was 21 years ago...still not at the grocery store.

Like crabs in a pot. No she won't be successful, she is no better than us...