Author Topic: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?  (Read 75336 times)

Just Joe

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #350 on: January 03, 2018, 09:25:12 AM »
Now you need giveaway boxes with expiration dates. This box to be given away in 6 months, that one in 18 months when the gift is forgotten by the person who gave it to me...

Loro-rojo

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #351 on: November 17, 2018, 01:44:11 PM »
Yes, my FIL.

My FIL is a hardcore hoarder.  Just like you see on tv.  His cars (all are clunkers... all 5 of them) are always full of trash.  The cars have so much trash that it's almost impossible to see out of the windshield.  Also, it's almost impossible for him to reach the pedals as the trash is all over.  I've known my wife for 7 years, and we've never been to his house.  We live about 20 minutes away.  He also owns and operates a small business, which we've only visited 5 or 6 times.  The business is just an extension of his hoard, as the store looks like a house in the show Hoarders.  No idea how anyone would ever buy anything from his store.  He must be losing tons of money with this "business" but appears to keep the business afloat with his salary from his state job.  He loves hoarding locksmithing things, usually spending $300 a week on key machines.  He must own hundreds of these.

Anyways- every time he visits our house he always brings crap.  Old DVDs, books, used dolls (for our daughter).  We've asked him to stop but he wont.  My wife feels bad about the stuff he brings and is reluctant to want to throw it away.  This has led to some fights within the marriage.

He's close to retirement age and has nothing saved.  He's earned good money throughout his life but has spent it all on junk.  Not only that, but his hoarding has severely harmed his relationship with his children and grandchildren. 

So yeah... sorry about the rant.   
« Last Edit: November 17, 2018, 01:49:58 PM by Loro-rojo »

pdxbator

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #352 on: November 17, 2018, 03:38:41 PM »
My parents are hoarders (not Hoarder the show level hoarders), but they can't seem to downsize. My mom has a serious clothes problem (Goodwill is her friend) and the extra bedrooms that the kids lived in are now closets. She also has an earring buying problem and probably has thousands I think.

My dad has serious garage hoarding and can't get rid of anything out in his garage. They don't give me stuff right now, but what they will give me and my siblings is all of their stuff upon death. I quake at just the thought of going through all of it. Maybe I could just set the house afire? I look at it all and see months and months of work. Some of the stuff is worth something.

LiveLean

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #353 on: November 18, 2018, 09:41:30 AM »
Ten years go, friends of ours lived in an old home that had an electrical fire in the middle of the night. They escaped, along with their four young daughters, with only the clothes on their back.

Two years later, he told me it was the greatest thing ever because they were borderline hoarders and never would have gotten rid of all of the crap. They've been MMM-like minamalists ever since.


LiveLean

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #354 on: November 18, 2018, 09:50:16 AM »
One more anecdote....I used to have a huge sports memorabilia collection (since sold) and was also a sportswriter.

When I'd visit the lovely, massive homes of professional athletes, one of the things that struck me was how little they had on display. Some guys might have an award or two, some photos of the teams they'd play for. But if I asked where they kept their MVP or championship trophies, for the most part they'd shrug and say a family member has it it or they might be in storage somewhere.

That's when I figured that if these guys didn't collect their own stuff, why should anyone else collect it?

And taking this down to the level of us lesser mortals, why would our kids want to keep a lot of our crap?

Loro-rojo

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #355 on: November 23, 2018, 06:24:50 AM »
Yes, my FIL.

My FIL is a hardcore hoarder.  Just like you see on tv.  His cars (all are clunkers... all 5 of them) are always full of trash.  The cars have so much trash that it's almost impossible to see out of the windshield.  Also, it's almost impossible for him to reach the pedals as the trash is all over.  I've known my wife for 7 years, and we've never been to his house.  We live about 20 minutes away.  He also owns and operates a small business, which we've only visited 5 or 6 times.  The business is just an extension of his hoard, as the store looks like a house in the show Hoarders.  No idea how anyone would ever buy anything from his store.  He must be losing tons of money with this "business" but appears to keep the business afloat with his salary from his state job.  He loves hoarding locksmithing things, usually spending $300 a week on key machines.  He must own hundreds of these.

Anyways- every time he visits our house he always brings crap.  Old DVDs, books, used dolls (for our daughter).  We've asked him to stop but he wont.  My wife feels bad about the stuff he brings and is reluctant to want to throw it away.  This has led to some fights within the marriage.

He's close to retirement age and has nothing saved.  He's earned good money throughout his life but has spent it all on junk.  Not only that, but his hoarding has severely harmed his relationship with his children and grandchildren. 

So yeah... sorry about the rant.

Yesterday during Thanksgiving I learned....

My FIL's hoarding is do bad that he has purchased up to 6 white van for the sole purpose of filling them up with stuff.  Once full, the parks them in a public place.  Apparently, it's cheaper to do this than to rent a storage unit.

Also, all his cars are so filed with trash that he can no longer drive them.  Therefore, he rents a car for a week at a time to use in his normal day driving.  He had been banned from several car rental places because everytime he returns a car it's full to the brim with trash.

bacchi

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #356 on: November 23, 2018, 06:27:03 PM »
My parents are hoarders (not Hoarder the show level hoarders), but they can't seem to downsize. My mom has a serious clothes problem (Goodwill is her friend) and the extra bedrooms that the kids lived in are now closets. She also has an earring buying problem and probably has thousands I think.

My dad has serious garage hoarding and can't get rid of anything out in his garage. They don't give me stuff right now, but what they will give me and my siblings is all of their stuff upon death. I quake at just the thought of going through all of it. Maybe I could just set the house afire? I look at it all and see months and months of work. Some of the stuff is worth something.

My mom also hoards clothes from Goodwill. Piles and piles, 3 feet high, spread out over multiple bedrooms.

As the closest child, and the one with lots of free time, it'll be up to me to clear it. I'm thinking a dumpster (or two) dropped off in the driveway is the way to go. I'll hire some day laborers and they can wheelbarrow it out.

When I was visiting this past week, all I could think of was how many thousands and thousands of dollars and wasted resources are sitting in piles, unused and forgotten.

Poundwise

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #357 on: November 23, 2018, 07:48:52 PM »
My parents are hoarders (not Hoarder the show level hoarders), but they can't seem to downsize. My mom has a serious clothes problem (Goodwill is her friend) and the extra bedrooms that the kids lived in are now closets. She also has an earring buying problem and probably has thousands I think.

My dad has serious garage hoarding and can't get rid of anything out in his garage. They don't give me stuff right now, but what they will give me and my siblings is all of their stuff upon death. I quake at just the thought of going through all of it. Maybe I could just set the house afire? I look at it all and see months and months of work. Some of the stuff is worth something.

My mom also hoards clothes from Goodwill. Piles and piles, 3 feet high, spread out over multiple bedrooms.

As the closest child, and the one with lots of free time, it'll be up to me to clear it. I'm thinking a dumpster (or two) dropped off in the driveway is the way to go. I'll hire some day laborers and they can wheelbarrow it out.

When I was visiting this past week, all I could think of was how many thousands and thousands of dollars and wasted resources are sitting in piles, unused and forgotten.

Such a terrible illness! and such a waste!  Could you find some charitable groups who would be willing to take the clothes?  For instance, groups for the homeless and refugees are always glad for winter coats and warm clothes; women's shelters often collect professional clothes for job interviews. In my hometown we do big collections a couple times a season; sounds like you could supply an entire collection in one fell swoop!

Frankies Girl

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #358 on: November 23, 2018, 08:31:09 PM »
My parents are hoarders (not Hoarder the show level hoarders), but they can't seem to downsize. My mom has a serious clothes problem (Goodwill is her friend) and the extra bedrooms that the kids lived in are now closets. She also has an earring buying problem and probably has thousands I think.

My dad has serious garage hoarding and can't get rid of anything out in his garage. They don't give me stuff right now, but what they will give me and my siblings is all of their stuff upon death. I quake at just the thought of going through all of it. Maybe I could just set the house afire? I look at it all and see months and months of work. Some of the stuff is worth something.

My mom also hoards clothes from Goodwill. Piles and piles, 3 feet high, spread out over multiple bedrooms.

As the closest child, and the one with lots of free time, it'll be up to me to clear it. I'm thinking a dumpster (or two) dropped off in the driveway is the way to go. I'll hire some day laborers and they can wheelbarrow it out.

When I was visiting this past week, all I could think of was how many thousands and thousands of dollars and wasted resources are sitting in piles, unused and forgotten.

Such a terrible illness! and such a waste!  Could you find some charitable groups who would be willing to take the clothes?  For instance, groups for the homeless and refugees are always glad for winter coats and warm clothes; women's shelters often collect professional clothes for job interviews. In my hometown we do big collections a couple times a season; sounds like you could supply an entire collection in one fell swoop!

You are missing the point... hoarders won't get rid of things easily if at all while they are alive. Sure, they might offload some items, but the person you're responding to is talking about her mother's house and her mother's things she won't get rid of or give away to anyone. They will have a nervous breakdown or temper tantrum if you try to remove things they collect/hoard. The stuff isn't anyone else's to give away unless the hoarder allows it and they rarely do. You really can't just sweep in and get rid of their things for them - they will have a mental breakdown at best, and you could be arrested for stealing their things and cause them to have a stroke or something at worst.

It is a terrible illness. But similar to how you can't force someone to seek medical treatment unless they are totally and completely unable to protest against it, you can't force a hoarder to get rid of their hoard without serious repercussions.

In the case of a health hazard, you can get the county health services to force a cleanout, but it will not last because the underlying issues that caused the hoarding will make them run out and get more stuff (sometimes WAAAAAY more than they originally had) due to the trauma.

And I remember several stories of someone "doing the hoarder a favor" by cleaning out their house while they were away (hospital/traveling) and they were threatened with criminal trespass, theft, and the hoarder had a serious mental/physical relapse due to the stress and upset.

You have to get them into intensive therapy most of the time to make even a dent in the hoarding mentality. Without treating the cause, the symptoms  - the piles of clothes/food/stuff - would just reaccumulate. But most hoarders are highly resistant to therapy because they use their hoarding AS therapy and it is a very difficult mental issue to untangle even with those that admit they have a problem.

Apple_Tango

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #359 on: November 23, 2018, 09:04:21 PM »
Some tragic events lead to some of my extended family passing away. My mom was so into going through the Hummels and the ceramics that she couldnít relax until she had taken a look at everything to find out who took what, and what she could get. It seriously creeped me out. My aunt wanted a lot of the ceramic Christmas trees and so did my mom. The only difference is that my aunt actually decorates while my mom just keeps them in boxes in her basement. But my mom insisted on claiming no less than 6 for herself. The amount of absolute crap in her basement drives me nuts.

I helped her out with a yard sale about a year ago and it went well- $2000 of junk sold, and a lot of the basement was cleaned out. Especially the 20 pounds of fake flowers that she keeps down there. Now, one year later, itís like we never had a sale. The flowers are back. The chairs are back. The Craigslist junk is back. The baby clothes for my baby -that I donít have- are back. I donít know why she does this.

« Last Edit: November 23, 2018, 09:06:06 PM by Apple_Tango »

Poundwise

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #360 on: November 24, 2018, 09:20:29 PM »

Quote
Such a terrible illness! and such a waste!  Could you find some charitable groups who would be willing to take the clothes?  For instance, groups for the homeless and refugees are always glad for winter coats and warm clothes; women's shelters often collect professional clothes for job interviews. In my hometown we do big collections a couple times a season; sounds like you could supply an entire collection in one fell swoop!

You are missing the point... hoarders won't get rid of things easily if at all while they are alive.

Yes, I know! I meant, when the time comes to deal with her stuff. OP might be able to find groups willing to pick up, or he could send the clothes right back to Goodwill whence they came. 

brooklynmoney

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #361 on: November 24, 2018, 10:02:35 PM »
My mom is not a hoarder per se as her house is immaculate and she doesnít buy a lot of stuff. That said when she gets something she has a hard time ever getting rid of it. Hence at her house I found literally vintage spice containers from pre 1980. They actaullly sell for a decent amount on eBay because they are these cool looking tins. Every time I visit I convince her to let me purge and organize a closet. I find it so gratifying.

soccerluvof4

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #362 on: November 25, 2018, 07:27:23 AM »
My mom before she past about 5 years ago was a dealer and pretty much our entire house , Garage and any other area she could find was full of shit she would buy and sell. She wasnt a hoarder like you would see on those shows but she definitely was on the verge. Anything she bought did not end up in the trash ever. So there was alot of junk that she would try to give us or our kids etc.. When she past and I emptied out her house which was 1100Square feet plus a 2.5 car garage I filled 3 of the largest dumpsters they made of just stuff. While i felt some guilt doing this I had no choice and it was exhausting. The difference is despite most of our rooms having stuff in them for sale and hard to navigate at times she kept things clean.

Cali

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #363 on: November 25, 2018, 07:27:16 PM »
My parents can be a challenge. Their home is clean but they have a ton of stuff they don’t need but won’t toss. Having read some really intense hoarding stories here though, I’m going to immediately stop complaining. Wow.

Just Joe

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #364 on: November 26, 2018, 09:30:33 AM »
I've seen two of the Hoarders TV show episodes. I've wondered while reading this thread how some of those people are these days. Did they return to their hoarding habits or was it life changing (for the better). Those TV shows are sometimes so scripted that I would not take any of it as factual. I'm sure the messes were real.

Tiny joy: I recycled a old bucket of bolts and nuts last night. Been haunting me for a very long time. Good intentions to sort and make use of them someday but honestly they don't fit anything I own. The funny part is that they were gifted to me by someone else who also had good intentions and simply needed them gone. They occupied a tiny place on my workbench but the relief of them being recycled was sizable. Perhaps a tiny preview of the  hoarding psychology. I've helped a couple of cleanouts - one end of life, one downsizing due to age. I don't want us to be in that position ever.

letsdoit

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #365 on: November 26, 2018, 10:16:43 AM »
my mom has nice old stuff which is almost worse.  knowing that itlll be in style in 20 or 30 yrs.  old armoires and silver that ppl used to really lust after


Cassie

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #366 on: November 26, 2018, 12:57:41 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

pachnik

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #367 on: November 26, 2018, 01:09:52 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

A good friend of mine who's in her mid-60's now has lots of antiques in her apartment - stuff like the chairs from her grandparents' farm in Ontario.  so accidental antique ownership.  :)

As well, her ex-husband owned a furniture store that dealt in new and antique furniture IIRC.  She has an old sewing table from his shop that apparently someone in the 1970's had stuck linoleum on the top of it because antiques weren't popular then.  Her husband was able to refinish it and it is very beautiful.  I agree that young people don't like antiques and I remember only liking modern furniture when I was young too.  However, now I do like them.  And I am looking out for an antique oak dresser in local auctions.   

Back to the thread topic:  my parents don't hoard and then try to give me crap. 

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #368 on: November 26, 2018, 01:33:34 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

A good friend of mine who's in her mid-60's now has lots of antiques in her apartment - stuff like the chairs from her grandparents' farm in Ontario.  so accidental antique ownership.  :)

As well, her ex-husband owned a furniture store that dealt in new and antique furniture IIRC.  She has an old sewing table from his shop that apparently someone in the 1970's had stuck linoleum on the top of it because antiques weren't popular then.  Her husband was able to refinish it and it is very beautiful.  I agree that young people don't like antiques and I remember only liking modern furniture when I was young too.  However, now I do like them.  And I am looking out for an antique oak dresser in local auctions.   

Back to the thread topic:  my parents don't hoard and then try to give me crap.

Oddly, I never liked antiques when I was young, but now I'm at a stage where I'm inspired by furniture that is older than I am but still going strong.

mm1970

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #369 on: November 26, 2018, 02:40:22 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.
I'm hoping that antiques will come back in style in a green "reduce reuse recycle" way.  If you want to avoid clear cutting forests in China to get crappy furniture - buy quality used stuff.

And stop caring if the stuff in your house doesn't match.

TheGrimSqueaker

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #370 on: November 26, 2018, 02:47:52 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.
I'm hoping that antiques will come back in style in a green "reduce reuse recycle" way.  If you want to avoid clear cutting forests in China to get crappy furniture - buy quality used stuff.

And stop caring if the stuff in your house doesn't match.

Stuff is supposed to match?

KodeBlue

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #371 on: November 26, 2018, 03:07:39 PM »
Now the Holidays are coming up...hoarder parents love to send boxes of crap as gifts!

iliketocode

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #372 on: November 27, 2018, 08:03:20 AM »
So just now, my dad was showing up a pineapple de-eyer slicer thing that they supposedly use in Asia for making it easy to get the eyes out of pineapples. He was like "yea this is what they use in Asia. we're going to give you this one" as if we need more crap and clutter from them. I told him we eat pineapple like twice a year so why do we need this? Granted, it's a small device but our utensils drawer is packed with utensils they've given us and of which 10% we probably use. They tend to do this with other stuff too... my mom is one of those crazy coupon ladies who is really good and finding deals on stuff for insanely cheap and will stock up on tons of bottles of shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc. They'll also grab those soaps/shampoos/lotions/etc from hotels and do it every time the cleaning lady refills or sometimes they'll ask the front desk for more. Admittedly, it's pretty useful when we find ourselves short of things but all things considered, they're such hoarders and packrats.

My wife would tell you that I take after them, but I beg to differ...slightly.

Anyway, my mom likes to shop at Sears and Kohls and buy stuff only if she can get it (with coupons especially) for 90%+ off. And my dad will buy crap off Aliexpress (like stupid headlamps) that he then gives to each of us because we "need headlamps" - it's pretty ridiculous. Most of the stuff they give to us is just junk (they'll also bring back trinkets and keepsakes from trips [e.g. woven water bottle holders my mom got a bargain for in Peru - seriously? when would we ever use this? "Hey, you never know" is always their response] and other stuff).

My wife especially gets annoyed with this - my mom will give her cheapo purses and clutches that look tacky and they end up piling up in our closet because my wife feels bad not to take them or give them away but won't actually use them. *Some* of the stuff they'll get us we actually might be interested in, but a lot of it is just junk.

It especially gets ugly at Christmas time... "great, we have a bag full of crap to bring back home with us" - I've told my parents to stop giving us junk and they've gotten better at it but they still can't resist. Seriously though, with all the junk they buy and have hoarded, they could probably send thousands of shoeboxes out via Operation Christmas Child. Or it's like, instead of the $100s of dollars you spent buying crap for us in the past couple years, you could have just given us $100 dollars cash.

Anyone of you have parents or relatives like this? It's pretty hilarious actually... but we're dreading having to clean out their house when the day comes that they're no longer with us.

Yes.  Except in my case the ďgiftĒ comes with strings attached.  The suff we donít actually need, but then my mom comes over and tells us that we owe her because she got us something.

We throw all this crap into a bag and dump at a local Savers thrift store.  Iíll write it off on taxes (if I can).  Or just flat out tell her that I donít want it and she should take it back.

PrairieBeardstache

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #373 on: November 27, 2018, 08:13:44 AM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

You must not have many "hipsters" in your area. I can say that a not insignificant fraction of young people do indeed like antiques. They've even opened several shops in my area to sell antiques and "vintage" clothing to other young people for significant markups. It started with pop-up stores.

dcheesi

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #374 on: November 27, 2018, 09:17:19 AM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

You must not have many "hipsters" in your area. I can say that a not insignificant fraction of young people do indeed like antiques. They've even opened several shops in my area to sell antiques and "vintage" clothing to other young people for significant markups. It started with pop-up stores.
Funny how something that started from economic necessity (thrifting and hand-me-down/curbside furniture) has turned into something people are willing to spend a lot more for.

mm1970

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #375 on: November 27, 2018, 10:01:27 AM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.
I'm hoping that antiques will come back in style in a green "reduce reuse recycle" way.  If you want to avoid clear cutting forests in China to get crappy furniture - buy quality used stuff.

And stop caring if the stuff in your house doesn't match.

Stuff is supposed to match?
Almost 20 years ago I was chatting with a coworker of mine.  She was probably 10 years older than I was.  So I was probably 29 and she was late 30's.

We were talking about furniture, and I mentioned that my apartment was decorated in "late college/ early Navy" (probably with a little bit of Ikea).  She said "well SOME DAY you are going to want matching items".

Still waiting for that to happen.  Actually interestingly, we swapped bedrooms with the boys this year.  In the process of taking the "small" bedroom, we are back to having matching furniture!  The teak-ish items that my husband bought, one at a time, in the early 1990s ("early Navy") actually match.  Bed frame, one dresser, small filing cabinet.

This kids' room has the faux cherry dresser that I bought in 1993, and the reddish-wood bunk beds that I bought off Craigslist.

The living room, however, is a mixture of hand-made stained, garage sale blond, kmart black, and whatever we got on a discount.

Even funnier is the lack of matching plates.  We have four sets of Corelle dinnerware.  They stack!  Rust stripe that were hand me downs from my sister in 1992.  Yellow floral from the 70's, hand me down from my stepfather's mom.  Blue stripe that was my husband's.  And a NEW SET from my MIL last year, green with a flower.  So, my big kid is in junior high this year.  They have a formal dance in the winter.  To keep costs down (our school is poor), they use a church space, and ask families to "adopt" a table.  Meaning: families will provide a round tablecloth, plates, cutlery, cloth napkins, and glassware.  Well, because it's a formal, they don't want disposable.  They want it to be "somewhat winter themed".  I asked if it had to match? They are okay if it's 2 sets.

What I can't figure out is if the new set of Corelle would be nice enough.  My only other option is the wedding china, buried in a closet.  We've got plenty of cloth napkins (and I can make more).  We can buy or rent a tablecloth.  We've got decent glasses that we've had forever.  I mean, it's a bunch of junior high kids, so I *THINK* they'd be thrilled with Corelle?  Going to have to send a private email before I sign up.

Just Joe

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #376 on: November 27, 2018, 12:35:20 PM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

You must not have many "hipsters" in your area. I can say that a not insignificant fraction of young people do indeed like antiques. They've even opened several shops in my area to sell antiques and "vintage" clothing to other young people for significant markups. It started with pop-up stores.
Funny how something that started from economic necessity (thrifting and hand-me-down/curbside furniture) has turned into something people are willing to spend a lot more for.

You gotta be authentic!

marble_faun

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #377 on: November 28, 2018, 12:17:35 AM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

You must not have many "hipsters" in your area. I can say that a not insignificant fraction of young people do indeed like antiques. They've even opened several shops in my area to sell antiques and "vintage" clothing to other young people for significant markups. It started with pop-up stores.
Funny how something that started from economic necessity (thrifting and hand-me-down/curbside furniture) has turned into something people are willing to spend a lot more for.

In this case, it's not necessarily the stuff itself that people are spending more for, it's the fact that someone has sorted through the tsunami of used goods available and has selected the specific objects that are in style now.

Instead of having to haunt Goodwill/Craigslist/eBay/the curb, you get filtered shopping experience, with all the things pre-curated by a person with hip taste. This is what the customers are paying for.

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #378 on: November 28, 2018, 08:50:57 AM »
Young people donít like antiques.  Doubt it will come back in style.  I canít stand to watch hoarders because of the filth.

You must not have many "hipsters" in your area. I can say that a not insignificant fraction of young people do indeed like antiques. They've even opened several shops in my area to sell antiques and "vintage" clothing to other young people for significant markups. It started with pop-up stores.
Funny how something that started from economic necessity (thrifting and hand-me-down/curbside furniture) has turned into something people are willing to spend a lot more for.

In this case, it's not necessarily the stuff itself that people are spending more for, it's the fact that someone has sorted through the tsunami of used goods available and has selected the specific objects that are in style now.

Instead of having to haunt Goodwill/Craigslist/eBay/the curb, you get filtered shopping experience, with all the things pre-curated by a person with hip taste. This is what the customers are paying for.

You also get to see the object and to examine it before paying for it, and you therefore avoid exorbitant shipping costs to return what arrives damaged or other than advertised, which is situation normal when buying online. There is NO truth in advertising and no accountability.

Maenad

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #379 on: November 28, 2018, 10:15:32 AM »
Yes.  Except in my case the ďgiftĒ comes with strings attached.  The suff we donít actually need, but then my mom comes over and tells us that we owe her because she got us something.

Give her something she doesn't want. She got you something you don't want, and fair's fair, right?

jengod

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #380 on: November 29, 2018, 12:21:49 AM »
My mother-in-law is the kind of woman who has a collection of stuffed animals into her late '70s.

My children are sometimes gifted a Beanie Baby as a holiday or birthday present. They come in a reused shopping bag.

I feel bad because I know that these objects are somewhat precious to my MIL, and after a hug or two by the child in question, they will be ignored for months until I finally declutter them to a thrift shop.

My father-in-law uses his Kohl's Cash (??) to buy the children what he hopes are "high-impact gifts" that will make them say ooh and ahh. But we don't really have room for them all in our small house, no one ever bothers to assemble them completely, and by March they are broken trash.

It's done with fine intentions but we just don't share common values when it comes to consumerism, which, I suppose, is typical of the ways families change and evolve over time.

It's hard to buy presents for family members but we are not emotionally close enough with the in-laws to communicate honestly about it, so we continue just doing our silly separate things.

Cassie

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #381 on: November 29, 2018, 01:49:34 PM »
We live in Nevada and many of the antique shops went out of business. It took me a year to sell a walnut Eastlake double bed in perfect condition. I sold it for $250 even though supposedly it was worth much more. I belong to a forum with many people in their 50-60ís who all reported that they couldnít even give their antiques away.

saguaro

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #382 on: November 29, 2018, 02:15:35 PM »
We live in Nevada and many of the antique shops went out of business. It took me a year to sell a walnut Eastlake double bed in perfect condition. I sold it for $250 even though supposedly it was worth much more. I belong to a forum with many people in their 50-60ís who all reported that they couldnít even give their antiques away.

We had a couple of antique items: double bed, 2 bed stands, and a small table.  Couldn't sell them, and after about 2 years of trying, we donated them. 

pachnik

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #383 on: November 29, 2018, 02:21:15 PM »
We live in Nevada and many of the antique shops went out of business. It took me a year to sell a walnut Eastlake double bed in perfect condition. I sold it for $250 even though supposedly it was worth much more. I belong to a forum with many people in their 50-60ís who all reported that they couldnít even give their antiques away.

I don't disagree at all.  Not surprised.   A problem around here is that dwellings are getting smaller - especially in the condo market - so less room for furniture.

However, my eye is open for a century-old oak dresser.  :)  My husband buys and re-sells stuff from on-line auctions and is on the look out for me.   

saguaro

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #384 on: November 29, 2018, 02:35:44 PM »
We live in Nevada and many of the antique shops went out of business. It took me a year to sell a walnut Eastlake double bed in perfect condition. I sold it for $250 even though supposedly it was worth much more. I belong to a forum with many people in their 50-60ís who all reported that they couldnít even give their antiques away.

I don't disagree at all.  Not surprised.   A problem around here is that dwellings are getting smaller - especially in the condo market - so less room for furniture.

However, my eye is open for a century-old oak dresser.  :)  My husband buys and re-sells stuff from on-line auctions and is on the look out for me.

We kept the oak dressers that went with the bed.   We got rid of the bed because we decided to upgrade to a queen size but got a modern style (metal) that actually works with the dressers. 

Cassie

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #385 on: November 29, 2018, 02:39:28 PM »
We did the same and got a metal bed when we got a king.  Antiques go well with metal.

familyandfarming

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #386 on: November 29, 2018, 09:15:10 PM »
Every time I read this thread I get up and find things to give to Salvation Army. I vow to never leave excess for my children to deal with!

Cassie

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #387 on: November 30, 2018, 10:56:22 AM »
We have gotten rid of a ton of stuff now that we are older.

Just Joe

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #388 on: November 30, 2018, 10:57:46 AM »
Every time I read this thread I get up and find things to give to Salvation Army. I vow to never leave excess for my children to deal with!

Ain't that the truth.

Cassie

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #389 on: November 30, 2018, 11:01:10 AM »
Before I buy something I ask myself if I will be hauling it to the thrift store in a few years. Really makes you think about purchases. 

saguaro

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #390 on: November 30, 2018, 11:37:44 AM »
Watching a couple of episodes of "Hoarders" always gets me in the mood to toss stuff.  Yeah some of it is pretty gross but it gets me out of rationalizing why I keep some things or too many of some things.

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #391 on: November 30, 2018, 09:57:32 PM »
Watching a couple of episodes of "Hoarders" always gets me in the mood to toss stuff.  Yeah some of it is pretty gross but it gets me out of rationalizing why I keep some things or too many of some things.

Love that show. It's my cleaning show. There's nothing like scrubbing out the fridge watching someone with roaches living in theirs!

saguaro

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #392 on: December 02, 2018, 09:21:12 AM »
Watching a couple of episodes of "Hoarders" always gets me in the mood to toss stuff.  Yeah some of it is pretty gross but it gets me out of rationalizing why I keep some things or too many of some things.

Love that show. It's my cleaning show. There's nothing like scrubbing out the fridge watching someone with roaches living in theirs!

I find the show fascinating but DH cannot watch it.   After about 4 episodes of the first season, he stopped watching with me, finding it too gross.   He did grow up in a very cluttered, with level 2 hoarding in several rooms.  I think it triggers him which I fully understand.

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #393 on: December 02, 2018, 09:33:01 AM »
Watching a couple of episodes of "Hoarders" always gets me in the mood to toss stuff.  Yeah some of it is pretty gross but it gets me out of rationalizing why I keep some things or too many of some things.

Love that show. It's my cleaning show. There's nothing like scrubbing out the fridge watching someone with roaches living in theirs!

I find the show fascinating but DH cannot watch it.   After about 4 episodes of the first season, he stopped watching with me, finding it too gross.   He did grow up in a very cluttered, with level 2 hoarding in several rooms.  I think it triggers him which I fully understand.

I just Googled the 5 levels of hoarding and it's pretty fearsome.

saguaro

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #394 on: December 02, 2018, 10:49:17 AM »
I just Googled the 5 levels of hoarding and it's pretty fearsome.

DH was shocked to learn that the level of "clutter" in the home he grew up in was even on the hoarding scale.  That shows how people get used to it when they are in it long enough. 

One of the reasons I did not want to buy a house right after we got married was that I was concerned that he would not get his collecting under control.  I didn't want to live in those conditions and he had no perspective that people didn't live like that.   He did succeed in getting control, however, and has come a long way.   We had a conversation yesterday and he admitted of his own accord that holding on to things kept him from enjoying the things he does have.   

Parents' home doesn't have hoarded rooms anymore because they moved and a flood in the basement of the new house 20 years ago took care of a lot of the stuff.   SIL's home is reportedly a massive hoard, no one has been in there in years but last time we were there, circa 2005, it was in stage 2 territory.   Husband says as the best way to clear out the home is to "burn it".  That tells you something.

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #395 on: December 02, 2018, 05:29:37 PM »
I am pondering the idea of how the antique market, especially for Victorian furniture and all brown furniture, have gone in the crapper. I pretty much accepted  that idea.

And while I still think it is true, there is an antique dealer in Denver who gives a weekly video update on what is happening in his very large antique mall called the Brass Aarmadillo. His name is Gary Stover, he did a program on Victorian furniture and concluded that perhaps the market has dropped by 20% in profits cost but that is all the down he can see. And then he did another program on 1930s mahogany furniture which is Known to be the cheapest at least respected furniture in the antique market.

He didnít find much of this furniture in his antique mall, and he has theorize that either 1) The furniture is not there because dealers know there are no buyers or 2) People really are buying up everything in this category that goes into his store.

I respect this guy because he did a video on flow blue China, something I collect, and he was right on and everything he said and he theorizes that flow blue is one of the few types of Victorian pottery that has held its value over the past five decades.

Sibley

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #396 on: December 03, 2018, 12:33:21 PM »
I think a good chunk of the issue with the antiques market (of which I have been a participant), is that you've got the Baby Boomers and older generations facing downsizing/dying, so aren't buying much (in total, you've got exceptions of course), but are selling in large quantities. And younger generations either have different tastes, different needs/wants, or a lack of resources, so aren't buying as much, but may be selling whatever they got from elderly/deceased family members.

This leads to a complicated situation, where the market is flooded with items that no one wants, but the items that ARE wanted are either not hitting the market or are being purchased very quickly.

Really, we're facing the expected consequences of Too Much Stuff. It'll shake out eventually. We just have to survive the myriad complaints of our mothers that we don't want their stuff.

Poundwise

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #397 on: December 03, 2018, 01:10:03 PM »
Right! 
Baby Boomers (lots of them) are selling their furniture and copious collections.

Generations X and Y (smaller population) have less money and aren't interested.

Millennials (even larger population than boomers) are even poorer than Gen X and Y, are constrained for space, and aren't interested.

SunshineAZ

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #398 on: December 03, 2018, 01:42:44 PM »
This antique discussion is very interesting to me.  Growing up my mom was a big hobby antique collector, but most of it came from garage sales, as we did not have a lot of money.  Over time, she sold and upgraded a lot and now has a condo full of really nice antiques, some of which are truly beautiful.  They are all in great condition and well taken care of, although we joke that her house looks like a french whorehouse.  (It does.)  However, the only piece I really want is a tall dresser that was my great grandmothers.  (I would probably want more if I wasn't planning to FIRE outside of the US.)

True story:  Because of my mom's love of antiques, I bought 2 tall antique walnut dressers when I was in my 20s, that were cheap because they desperately needed refinishing.  I have now had them over 25 years and still haven't refinished them, but they still work great and keeping a runner over the top has hidden the scratches for years.  A few years back I decided that since I had the money, I would buy a new dresser and that would free up one of the old dressers and I would finally get them refinished one at a time.  So I bought a new dresser from a decent furniture company and it was so disappointing.  The outside looked nice, but the drawers were crap and the sides only went up half of the actual drawer height, so clothes get pushed out the back and have to be fished out.  And despite being larger than the antiques, didn't even hold the same amount of clothes.  That really made me appreciate the quality and workmanship of the antique dressers vs. the new one.  I never even bothered to get the old ones refinished, I decided that I like the "character".

It breaks my heart to think that the younger generation doesn't appreciate the quality and workmanship of antiques, and that a lot of these pieces will end up in a landfill as a result.

former player

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Re: Do any of your parents hoard and try to give you crap and other dumb stuff?
« Reply #399 on: December 03, 2018, 05:17:15 PM »
It breaks my heart to think that the younger generation doesn't appreciate the quality and workmanship of antiques, and that a lot of these pieces will end up in a landfill as a result.

Yes.  A lot of antiques are made of hardwoods which are now endangered, such as mahogany and teak.  Anyone buying new furniture made from those woods in particular but many others too is choosing to help destroy the environment and contribute to illegal logging and climate change.