Author Topic: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes  (Read 10919 times)

bad-ash

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Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« on: August 06, 2018, 08:06:55 PM »
I met a girl at Starbucks this weekend to buy a brand new Whirley-pop popcorn maker for $3.50 (so I can roast delicious coffee). While we transacted in line, she overshared and explained that she is desperately selling her possessions so she can afford rent this month.

She then proceeded to spend $17 on lunch, and when she realized I wasn't getting anything, offered to buy me (a stranger) a latte.

jmusic

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2018, 08:43:06 PM »
Maybe she liked you?

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #2 on: August 07, 2018, 09:23:19 AM »
Maybe she is selling the contents of another person's apartment. HAHA

Stories like your's makes me a little dizzy. Broke but still spending. That will turn out well, won't it?

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2018, 11:09:21 AM »
After her launch my daughter behaved much the same way. She wouldn't work, but wanted to spend heavily and enjoy the same standard of living she had living with me. She sold most of her belongings including her furniture and her bed "because she needed the money" yet continued to buy lavish gifts for her boyfriend and enjoy restaurant meals and fake nails. When she finished blowing through her college money and was unable to gouge more out of her boyfriend or the other people around her who'd urged her on and helped her to spend it, she ended up not having necessities like car insurance or a bed to sleep in.

She figured out that if she's without necessities people will dig deep to give to her, but that they're not willing to do the same to pay for her luxuries. So when she has money, she makes sure to spend it on luxuries without acquiring or maintaining necessities. It's basically a manipulation strategy.

The offer to buy you something to drink was sincere, and not necessarily an expression of romantic interest. People who spend down or spoil their necessities are always cultivating a new friend who can be lulled into a sense of obligation to them and then exploited for money and resources later on.

honeybbq

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #4 on: August 07, 2018, 02:28:46 PM »
After her launch my daughter behaved much the same way. She wouldn't work, but wanted to spend heavily and enjoy the same standard of living she had living with me. She sold most of her belongings including her furniture and her bed "because she needed the money" yet continued to buy lavish gifts for her boyfriend and enjoy restaurant meals and fake nails. When she finished blowing through her college money and was unable to gouge more out of her boyfriend or the other people around her who'd urged her on and helped her to spend it, she ended up not having necessities like car insurance or a bed to sleep in.

She figured out that if she's without necessities people will dig deep to give to her, but that they're not willing to do the same to pay for her luxuries. So when she has money, she makes sure to spend it on luxuries without acquiring or maintaining necessities. It's basically a manipulation strategy.

The offer to buy you something to drink was sincere, and not necessarily an expression of romantic interest. People who spend down or spoil their necessities are always cultivating a new friend who can be lulled into a sense of obligation to them and then exploited for money and resources later on.

Ouch. Not to pour salt in the wound, but is there anything you would do differently in your child rearing that you can think of?

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #5 on: August 07, 2018, 03:10:25 PM »
After her launch my daughter behaved much the same way. She wouldn't work, but wanted to spend heavily and enjoy the same standard of living she had living with me. She sold most of her belongings including her furniture and her bed "because she needed the money" yet continued to buy lavish gifts for her boyfriend and enjoy restaurant meals and fake nails. When she finished blowing through her college money and was unable to gouge more out of her boyfriend or the other people around her who'd urged her on and helped her to spend it, she ended up not having necessities like car insurance or a bed to sleep in.

She figured out that if she's without necessities people will dig deep to give to her, but that they're not willing to do the same to pay for her luxuries. So when she has money, she makes sure to spend it on luxuries without acquiring or maintaining necessities. It's basically a manipulation strategy.

The offer to buy you something to drink was sincere, and not necessarily an expression of romantic interest. People who spend down or spoil their necessities are always cultivating a new friend who can be lulled into a sense of obligation to them and then exploited for money and resources later on.

Ouch. Not to pour salt in the wound, but is there anything you would do differently in your child rearing that you can think of?

Paying better attention to the stereotypes about adopting teenagers out of foster care who have spent more than half their lives in the system.

Prairie Stash

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #6 on: August 07, 2018, 03:44:26 PM »


Ouch. Not to pour salt in the wound, but is there anything you would do differently in your child rearing that you can think of?

Paying better attention to the stereotypes about adopting teenagers out of foster care who have spent more than half their lives in the system.
I follow your anecdotes with rapt curiosity. The story is still unfolding, I still maintain my optimism. There's no way of knowing what her life would have been if she remained in foster care; for all I know its actually better then the alternative. In my mind I sometimes read your stories as a sucess at a great personal cost.

We may have to diagree for another few years, in my mind I will be optimistic until the child is mid twenties. I still hope your child has a better life then otherwise; even if its not a conventional white picket fence lifestyle.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2018, 03:52:21 PM »


Ouch. Not to pour salt in the wound, but is there anything you would do differently in your child rearing that you can think of?

Paying better attention to the stereotypes about adopting teenagers out of foster care who have spent more than half their lives in the system.
I follow your anecdotes with rapt curiosity. The story is still unfolding, I still maintain my optimism. There's no way of knowing what her life would have been if she remained in foster care; for all I know its actually better then the alternative. In my mind I sometimes read your stories as a sucess at a great personal cost.

We may have to diagree for another few years, in my mind I will be optimistic until the child is mid twenties. I still hope your child has a better life then otherwise; even if its not a conventional white picket fence lifestyle.

I fluctuate between optimism and despair, and the emotional strain has definitely shortened my lifespan. Sometimes I see signs of improvement but she has to hit some kind of rock bottom first. I'm willing to allow her to be uncomfortable but the tough love approach isn't easy either. I do think she's got a better life than she'd have had otherwise simply because she learned to read and to drive on my watch. I also gave her a bunch of practical skills. Some she uses; some, she doesn't use.

honeybbq

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2018, 04:01:04 PM »
After her launch my daughter behaved much the same way. She wouldn't work, but wanted to spend heavily and enjoy the same standard of living she had living with me. She sold most of her belongings including her furniture and her bed "because she needed the money" yet continued to buy lavish gifts for her boyfriend and enjoy restaurant meals and fake nails. When she finished blowing through her college money and was unable to gouge more out of her boyfriend or the other people around her who'd urged her on and helped her to spend it, she ended up not having necessities like car insurance or a bed to sleep in.

She figured out that if she's without necessities people will dig deep to give to her, but that they're not willing to do the same to pay for her luxuries. So when she has money, she makes sure to spend it on luxuries without acquiring or maintaining necessities. It's basically a manipulation strategy.

The offer to buy you something to drink was sincere, and not necessarily an expression of romantic interest. People who spend down or spoil their necessities are always cultivating a new friend who can be lulled into a sense of obligation to them and then exploited for money and resources later on.

Ouch. Not to pour salt in the wound, but is there anything you would do differently in your child rearing that you can think of?

Paying better attention to the stereotypes about adopting teenagers out of foster care who have spent more than half their lives in the system.

Ah. I forgot you got her halfway thru her rearing. That must be really hard. I know my step kids are pretty much the same but I got very little influence on them and now they are adults. Hoping I can make an impact on my little one.

Reddleman

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2018, 07:20:50 AM »
I met a girl at Starbucks this weekend to buy a brand new Whirley-pop popcorn maker for $3.50 (so I can roast delicious coffee).

Congrats on the coffee roasting!  I've been using a whirley pop for years.  Let me know if you have any questions as you get started with the method or if you want an option for green bean supplier.

Sibley

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2018, 08:45:49 AM »
Well, I just had a craigslist win. Some random guy is relieving me of a ton of stone. I am going to relieve him of a huge clump of lilies. Which I would otherwise buy - so probably $500 worth at least. Win :)

LiveLean

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2018, 12:41:22 PM »
Sort of like the girls who pulled up behind me as I was loading my van at Costco asking for gas money. They were driving a Suburban and eating Chipotle.

I met a Craigslist girl at Starbucks to buy a BlendTec blender that I'm guessing she got as a wedding gift. It had less than 100 on the counter. I brought a bottle of water so I could plug it in to make sure it was operational. Got some evil looks from the SBUX folks who must have thought we were filming something.

$50 for near-new BlendTec.

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #12 on: August 09, 2018, 07:52:25 AM »
Sort of like the girls who pulled up behind me as I was loading my van at Costco asking for gas money. They were driving a Suburban and eating Chipotle.

That must be a "thing" some women try for fun. Its happened to me twice. The answer is "Uh, no. I don't have money like you don't have any money as you sit there in your idling late model SUV eating drive-thru food."

onlykelsey

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #13 on: August 09, 2018, 07:58:54 AM »
Sort of like the girls who pulled up behind me as I was loading my van at Costco asking for gas money. They were driving a Suburban and eating Chipotle.

That must be a "thing" some women try for fun. Its happened to me twice. The answer is "Uh, no. I don't have money like you don't have any money as you sit there in your idling late model SUV eating drive-thru food."

It must work sometimes, right?

I remember losing my wallet downtown in Philly (about $5 of train fare away from home) as a (90 lb non-threatening) 15 year old and it was actually very easy to find someone to give me money.  I wasn't scamming anyone, but I've had a few similar experiences and it makes me realize it may be pretty easy to exploit people as a young woman.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #14 on: August 09, 2018, 08:15:41 AM »
Sort of like the girls who pulled up behind me as I was loading my van at Costco asking for gas money. They were driving a Suburban and eating Chipotle.

That must be a "thing" some women try for fun. Its happened to me twice. The answer is "Uh, no. I don't have money like you don't have any money as you sit there in your idling late model SUV eating drive-thru food."

When you say women, I think you mean people. Men grift/beg just as much as women.

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #15 on: August 10, 2018, 12:43:51 PM »
I've had one male and about 6-8 females ask me for money over the years.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #16 on: August 10, 2018, 01:19:52 PM »
I've had one male and about 6-8 females ask me for money over the years.

Are you male?  As a female I'd have the opposite experience.  I expect the helpless/sex-appeal approach many women choose to take doesn't work on straight women, hence why they might approach men instead.

Tass

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #17 on: August 10, 2018, 01:24:44 PM »
I've never noticed a gender imbalance in money requests personally, but if your theory is true the exception is probably women with children, who expect to get sympathy from other women. When this happened to me I had probably a ten minute conversation with the woman discussing nearby hospitals and churches she and her toddler could shelter in, until I let slip "I mean, I'm a college student, I don't have any cash" and she lost interest in me.

onlykelsey

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #18 on: August 10, 2018, 02:47:30 PM »
I've had one male and about 6-8 females ask me for money over the years.

Are you male?  As a female I'd have the opposite experience.  I expect the helpless/sex-appeal approach many women choose to take doesn't work on straight women, hence why they might approach men instead.

I think most direct appeals are actually cross-gender, based on my non-scientific experience.

partgypsy

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #19 on: August 14, 2018, 11:07:24 AM »
yeah it's mostly men who approach asking me for money. Sometimes with quite creative explanations. and I've had the same person approach me a week, month later with a slightly different ask, not recognizing they already asked me for money.  So my experience it does seem to be cross gender. However there are more homeless men, so more likely to be asked for money by a guy, regardless of your own gender.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2018, 11:19:07 AM by partgypsy »

partgypsy

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #20 on: August 14, 2018, 11:15:52 AM »
One of my odder craigslist experience was selling a personal massager that was essentially unused. It was a highly rated brand, and so was thinking the demographic would be other women replacing older one. Nope, only men responded. I met the less creepy buyer at a jamba juice type place on my lunch hour, where he seemed disinterested in the massager and went into a long explanation of his past relationships (psychotic ex wife) and current relationship (he just moved out), as well as what he did for a living (producing new age videos, which I won't even attempt to explain). He then wanted me to disclose. I said I was seeing someone and needed to get back to work. But - he paid for item. I took the long way around to my car just in case. (FYI random people, craigslist transactions are NOT dates). 

driftwood

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #21 on: August 14, 2018, 12:16:27 PM »
One of my odder craigslist experience was selling a personal massager that was essentially unused. It was a highly rated brand, and so was thinking the demographic would be other women replacing older one. Nope, only men responded. I met the less creepy buyer at a jamba juice type place on my lunch hour, where he seemed disinterested in the massager and went into a long explanation of his past relationships (psychotic ex wife) and current relationship (he just moved out), as well as what he did for a living (producing new age videos, which I won't even attempt to explain). He then wanted me to disclose. I said I was seeing someone and needed to get back to work. But - he paid for item. I took the long way around to my car just in case. (FYI random people, craigslist transactions are NOT dates).

Am I way off track here or is a 'personal massager' with the assumed demographic of women a vibrator? If I'm not, why would anyone buy a used one? I figured they go in the trash when you're done, and all folks buy new ones.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #22 on: August 14, 2018, 05:42:20 PM »
Maybe some people attract these stories? I biked past a lady with a broken down car one day and she proceeded to tell me about her weight loss, her husband that passed (or was it an ex?), and several other things I shouldn't know in 5 mins flat. Oh my...

I merely stopped to see if she had a phone to call for help with.

I know, I know, people looking for someone to cozy up to. 
« Last Edit: August 14, 2018, 05:46:15 PM by Just Joe »

partgypsy

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #23 on: August 14, 2018, 09:17:13 PM »
Yes u are correct what it was. I bought it, but without using it realized it wasn't what I was looking for. But they don't allow returns for those types of products. So a great deal for someone. Not sure what he was going to use it for.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #24 on: August 15, 2018, 05:25:49 PM »
yeah it's mostly men who approach asking me for money. Sometimes with quite creative explanations. and I've had the same person approach me a week, month later with a slightly different ask, not recognizing they already asked me for money.  So my experience it does seem to be cross gender. However there are more homeless men, so more likely to be asked for money by a guy, regardless of your own gender.

Creative explanations!

About 15 years ago I was on my way to a friend's house after work before going home. At a stop light I saw a reasonably well-dressed man standing on the corner obviously distressed, looking around. I rolled the window down a bit and asked if he was OK, his story was (1) car broke down (2) on his way to pick up his wife from her job (3) no money for cab. He asked if I was heading anywhere near (some small town), about 10 miles away, where his mechanic friend lives so he could get his car fixed. 

A ridiculous story since if his mechanic friend could come fix the car, why did he need to go there first?  It was obvious that he had crafted this complex tale carefully as he spit it out in a "I'm trying to appear panicked here" way but couldn't quite pull it off.  The key to making it work was the minuscule odds a random passerby would be going to (the small town 10 miles away). But I was, that's where my friend lived.

I said to hop in, let's figure out how we can get this straightened out. He was hesitant but got in. It was only a couple blocks to the highway on-ramp. "Where's your wife work?" "She works (other side of town)." "Does she know you're going to be late?" "No, she'll wait until I get there since I don't always know what time I can pick her up." Now we're on the highway.

"Uh, where are you going?"

"To (small town), where your mechanic buddy lives."

"OH, I can't ask you to take me all the way there. I just want $25 to get a jitney."

"No problem, I can get you right there and no need to spend $25 when you might need it to pay for the repairs on your car."

He was truly squirming at this point. "Hey, instead of taking me there, just drop me at this next exit." "Why? I don't think I'd be helping you if I didn't get you to your friend." "I'll just use a pay phone to call my friend and have him pick me up." I guess he didn't realize how that undermined his entire spiel at the beginning.

So I dropped him off at the next exit, about 5 miles from where I picked him up. Maybe that was mean, but he could have just dropped the pretense and declined the ride.

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #25 on: August 16, 2018, 08:10:38 AM »
That wasn't mean at all. You gave him just what he claimed to need - a ride to his mechanic friend. If he has a problem with telling the truth, well, that's his problem.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #26 on: August 16, 2018, 08:24:38 AM »
I had someone ask me for money in a parking lot out of the blue.  He said that he had run out of gas up the highway and needed 10$ worth to get a jerry can and some gas to make it home.  So I said 'Sure, let's get you that jerry can' and started walking towards Wal-Mart.

He got really upset.  "No, no, I can get it on my own, you don't need to come". 

"No worries, I'm heading in that direction anyway." - Me

"C'mon, I need the money right now.  I left my kid in the car." - Guy

"You left your kid in the car?  Well, let's go get him out of there.  I can give you a drive there." - Me

"Fuck you!  I can't believe you won't help me." - Guy

"What?  I don't get the problem?"  - Me

Guy angrily stomps away.

I suck at figuring out scams . . . it wasn't until a few hours later mulling the scenario over that I realized he was just begging for money in a novel way, and he had no kid (and likely no car).

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #27 on: August 16, 2018, 08:30:19 AM »
I was impressed at a friend of mine, who'd see people asking for money, walk into the nearest grocery store, buy a six-pack of beer, then go back out and give them one of them. "Here, friend, have a beer, on me!"

He said he felt like he was just dispensing with the polite fiction and giving them what they wanted.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #28 on: August 16, 2018, 09:22:13 AM »
I was impressed at a friend of mine, who'd see people asking for money, walk into the nearest grocery store, buy a six-pack of beer, then go back out and give them one of them. "Here, friend, have a beer, on me!"

He said he felt like he was just dispensing with the polite fiction and giving them what they wanted.

I was on vacation in a poorer country( by myself). A guy asked me for money for a meal, so I asked him where the good eatery was, he told me, so we went and had a meal( really good local food).  I suspected it was just money he was after, but he and I got a meal, and he told a good story.   He later asked for bus money which I declined.   I very much think he was surprised with an actual meal, but he did at least stick to his story.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #29 on: August 16, 2018, 04:13:28 PM »
I was taking a pedestrian ferry across the river for work one morning when an older man came to the rail next to me.  Told me stories of fishing and swimming while he was growing up.  He asked for money for bus fare when we reached the other side.  I gave him a dollar as it was an interesting tale.   

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #30 on: August 17, 2018, 09:16:29 AM »
A guy claimed he needed money to get back to his military unit as he was on leave and ran out of money.

I'm sympathetic as I'm ex-military. It would have taken a long time to grow that mane of hair he was sporting.

Instead told him who to call to get some financial assistance from the military.

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #31 on: August 21, 2018, 12:04:39 PM »
I had someone ask me for money in a parking lot out of the blue.  He said that he had run out of gas up the highway and needed 10$ worth to get a jerry can and some gas to make it home.  So I said 'Sure, let's get you that jerry can' and started walking towards Wal-Mart..............................

Guy angrily stomps away.

Walked out of a hardware store where the end of the parking lot connects to a gas station. (Probably 400 yards away.)

As i'm loading my truck a hear a woman's voice in somewhat distress "Sir...Sir" I turn around to see a woman in her car with a baby in the back seat.

With a puppy dog face she spills about how she needs to get her child to her mom's house and doesn't have the gas money and that it's urgent.

I don't give money to beggers, because I know that 99% are doing it for the wrong reasons.  But I think for a second, and say...

"Ok. See that gas station right there? *point 400 yards away* "Pull in there, and I will come over and put gas in your car for you."

She looks somewhat confused and then says "Ok."

Drives to the end of the parking lot, gets on the feeder, and hauls ass down the road. Gone.

I was pissed off beyond belief and sick that she was basically using her child to get the money for her fix.  Never again.

partgypsy

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #32 on: August 21, 2018, 12:29:45 PM »
I was impressed at a friend of mine, who'd see people asking for money, walk into the nearest grocery store, buy a six-pack of beer, then go back out and give them one of them. "Here, friend, have a beer, on me!"

He said he felt like he was just dispensing with the polite fiction and giving them what they wanted.

I was on vacation in a poorer country( by myself). A guy asked me for money for a meal, so I asked him where the good eatery was, he told me, so we went and had a meal( really good local food).  I suspected it was just money he was after, but he and I got a meal, and he told a good story.   He later asked for bus money which I declined.   I very much think he was surprised with an actual meal, but he did at least stick to his story.

There are a few people I have ask me for money on more than one occasion. As a rule I say I don't have cash on me, or don't give cash on the street.  One morning one of them asked for money for food. As I was outside a food place I said, how does an egg sandwich sound? I got him an egg and cheese biscuit and he seemed really happy to get it. It was one of those deals if they didn't want it I was going to eat it. 

The funniest asking for money scenario was someone knocked on me and boyfriend's door asking for money. My ex said, I won't give you money, but I'll give you a 5 if you sit for a portrait. So he had the person sit for a drawing, taking his time. You can tell from the drawing he was not happy about it. Strangely enough, he never came by asking for money after that.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2018, 12:34:22 PM by partgypsy »

Loren Ver

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #33 on: August 21, 2018, 03:57:24 PM »
I was impressed at a friend of mine, who'd see people asking for money, walk into the nearest grocery store, buy a six-pack of beer, then go back out and give them one of them. "Here, friend, have a beer, on me!"


snip. 

The funniest asking for money scenario was someone knocked on me and boyfriend's door asking for money. My ex said, I won't give you money, but I'll give you a 5 if you sit for a portrait. So he had the person sit for a drawing, taking his time. You can tell from the drawing he was not happy about it. Strangely enough, he never came by asking for money after that.

LOVE the portrait sitting.  That is most excellent!!

I had someone ask for gas money, I don't carry cash, but I did fill their gas tank.  They had the whole family in the car and were moving somewhere or other.  That doesn't both me, as long as it goes for gas.

Another time DH and I were road tripping back from my mom's and stopped at a part for our brown bag lunch.  We would be home later that day so we offered the rest of our bread and meat to a homeless man that was begging.  He declined and said he and his wife would rather have money, as with the alcoholism they didn't eat much.  We said we didn't have money, but the food was his if he wanted it.  That one made me very sad. 

LV


talltexan

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #34 on: August 22, 2018, 09:09:14 AM »
I was filling up my car yesterday and got approached by a man. He claimed he had his family in the car, and he needed $17.85 for a part to repair it. My first question was, "Is this car on the interstate? Do you need my help getting it to safety?"

He assured me his car and family were in a safe place. I opened up my change wallet, took out a $5, and said I could give him that. He took it, then help up money he had from a different source, and said he couldn't help but notice that I had enough in my change sack that I could give him the entire amount he needed. Right then and there.

I refused, telling him $5 was all that I could give, and I wished him luck.

But, wow! To not be grateful that he was getting something? It boggles the mind!

iris lily

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #35 on: August 22, 2018, 11:08:33 AM »
Well, I just had a craigslist win. Some random guy is relieving me of a ton of stone. I am going to relieve him of a huge clump of lilies. Which I would otherwise buy - so probably $500 worth at least. Win :)

Lilies! Always a win. Unless they are the ubquitous orange ditch liles.

iris lily

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #36 on: August 22, 2018, 11:09:53 AM »
I was filling up my car yesterday and got approached by a man. He claimed he had his family in the car, and he needed $17.85 for a part to repair it. My first question was, "Is this car on the interstate? Do you need my help getting it to safety?"

He assured me his car and family were in a safe place. I opened up my change wallet, took out a $5, and said I could give him that. He took it, then help up money he had from a different source, and said he couldn't help but notice that I had enough in my change sack that I could give him the entire amount he needed. Right then and there.

I refused, telling him $5 was all that I could give, and I wished him luck.

But, wow! To not be grateful that he was getting something? It boggles the mind!
I live at the intersection of two Federal highways. That scam, the one with a precise amount, is a common one.

talltexan

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #37 on: August 23, 2018, 06:34:30 AM »
I knew it was a scam. I gave him some money anyway.

For probably the last ten years, I've been extremely disciplined in not giving anyone anything. During the last two weeks, I've completely gone off the deep end, giving people all over the place $2 here or $5 there. Who knows if it's done any good?

driftwood

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #38 on: August 23, 2018, 01:05:25 PM »
I knew it was a scam. I gave him some money anyway.

For probably the last ten years, I've been extremely disciplined in not giving anyone anything. During the last two weeks, I've completely gone off the deep end, giving people all over the place $2 here or $5 there. Who knows if it's done any good?

I've started to realize that I can give money to people like this, believe whatever bullshit story they have, and then not think critically about it at all. Just reap the benefits of feeling generous and nice.

"This guy said he needed $3.75 and that it would save his life. I'm a fucking hero!"

prudent_one

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #39 on: September 01, 2018, 07:50:59 PM »
I work in the city so if there's someone panhandling because they are hungry I'll offer to buy them a meal at whatever eatery is closest (there's always some place within a block), or they can have a quarter. I figure that separates the money people from the truly hungry. Probably have been approached over the years about twenty times, I've had two people choose the meal. Surprisingly, most people don't even want the quarter.  To me that's a win all around - usually I'm not even out a quarter, and sometimes I really did help someone hungry get something to eat.
 
I would have to think the panhandling biz is got to be on the way out given fewer and fewer people carry cash any more.

astvilla

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #40 on: September 01, 2018, 09:37:30 PM »
If you live around Wash DC, homeless people ask for money almost every day. Most times I ignore, sometimes I give a quarter or pocket change (cause I hate having change and it's a great way to get rid of it).

1 guy asked for $40 for baby formula, looked well dressed on the Red line. A couple white women hang around highway exits with signs (how do they get a marker? and cardboard?) and once at a Metro station (not sure how they get in).

Sometimes the charity depends on the person's attitude and appearance, do they look homeless (unshaven, same dirty outfit, smell, dirty, poor hygiene, probably means they're homeless) are they persistent and rude, varies situation by situation. I was almost homeless for a night after losing my wallet so I know the feeling and sympathy but I don't have homeless survival skills (which I'd be kind of curious to know). It can be hard to separate scammers from those truly in need but if asking a specific amount, that's a scam.

You don't have to give money but socks, toothbrush, toothpaste, cup, also work if available.

Just Joe

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #41 on: September 04, 2018, 07:37:54 AM »
I like the idea of giving toiletries or food directly.

For months there was a young lady who would park her car at a certain store and then walk out to the intersection to panhandle. Amazing what you can see while pedaling along at 5 mph. Time to observe.

I started watching for the car and sure enough saw her in the car.

Don't know if she was living in the car or what. I do know that there were several "Help wanted" signs within walking distance of that car. Who knows what her application would look like - felonies or drugs or whatever. Definitely hard to bounce back after a person has bottomed out without a network of friends to help with a place to clean up, sleep and perhaps use for a mailing address.

I've considered briefly what it would take to go from zero to employed without a support network of friends. Tent city or car living to an apartment.

Steeze

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #42 on: September 22, 2018, 09:13:34 PM »
I was on the subway the other day and a guy is going through asking for change and said he needs water. I offered him my half full water bottle. He got really angry and said, "are you f-ing serious right now?" ... uhh yes?

I hope he died of thirst.

maizeman

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #43 on: September 22, 2018, 09:29:58 PM »
I met a girl at Starbucks this weekend to buy a brand new Whirley-pop popcorn maker for $3.50 (so I can roast delicious coffee). While we transacted in line, she overshared and explained that she is desperately selling her possessions so she can afford rent this month.

She then proceeded to spend $17 on lunch, and when she realized I wasn't getting anything, offered to buy me (a stranger) a latte.

I wonder if the $17 lunch bill went on a credit card?

Rent in a major expense you cannot put on a credit card, so I can sort of see the logic of both having to sell household goods to make rent while continuing to maintain your regular lifestyle otherwise by just running up more debt (although obviously you're setting yourself up for a more extreme reckoning down the road).

joleran

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #44 on: October 03, 2018, 11:09:03 AM »
I wonder if the $17 lunch bill went on a credit card?

Rent in a major expense you cannot put on a credit card, so I can sort of see the logic of both having to sell household goods to make rent while continuing to maintain your regular lifestyle otherwise by just running up more debt (although obviously you're setting yourself up for a more extreme reckoning down the road).

There are companies such as Plastiq that will let you often pay rent with a credit card, for a large fee.  Marginal value for churners in some edge cases, but mostly a rip off.

Mrs.Piano

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #45 on: October 05, 2018, 09:39:09 AM »
About twenty-five years ago, I was eating by myself at an open-air restaurant when an older woman came by, saying she was hungry. I invited her to sit with me and ordered her some dinner. The restaurant manager tried to make her leave, but I said she was my guest. This woman ate ALL of the dinner and the left-overs from mine.

Back to Craigslist: I am always amazed by the tiny things people are selling. Like, one woman’s dress belt. That could be a lot of driving to get the belt!

letsdoit

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #46 on: December 07, 2018, 11:22:02 AM »
I was on the subway the other day and a guy is going through asking for change and said he needs water. I offered him my half full water bottle. He got really angry and said, "are you f-ing serious right now?" ... uhh yes?

I hope he died of thirst.

once i said 'i do (have 50cents) but i'm not gonna give it to you,'
and he wanted to kirk out on me.  i was tryingto be honest

saguaro

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #47 on: December 10, 2018, 12:03:13 PM »
yeah it's mostly men who approach asking me for money. Sometimes with quite creative explanations. and I've had the same person approach me a week, month later with a slightly different ask, not recognizing they already asked me for money. 

Years ago, DH and I were approached by a guy at a rest stop.  Basically the "out of gas" story but embellished with twists and turns that might seem plausible to someone not familiar with the local area, such as going through a major city before realizing they were going the wrong way to get to another major city that was his supposed destination and was in a completely different direction.  Now we weren't locals but were familiar with the area from prior travels so his complicated travel story got rather far fetched real fast.  Really weird part was that he offered his driver's license as some sort of collateral.  We gave him a five just to get him out of our hair.  T

The following year, we stopped at that same rest stop.  I was looking for that guy, expecting to get the same embellished story again.


debtfreejess

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #48 on: December 10, 2018, 10:23:54 PM »
Not on the current topic, but appropriate for thread...

About 3 months ago, I decided to sell my 2010 Honda Fit - low miles, clean interior, overall great car. I listed for $8500, hoping to get $8000 for it. Had a couple bites, got a little cocky and tried to get a little bidding war going, and lost both. Anyways, didn't hear anything for a few days, got a little anxious, then had someone call me up. He lived in a town like 100 miles north of me, asked if his mechanic friend could look at the car for him before he drove all the way out to buy it. No problem. Met with the mechanic, test drove it, rave reviews.

Guy asks me if I'll take $7500 for it. I say nah, $8000 minimum. He goes on and on about how this is for his daughter for college and her heart is set on it, he only has $7500, yada yada yada. After a lot of begging, I agree to $7800. He then asks if I'll drive it 3/4 of the way to him. The thought makes my skin crawl, but I'm anxious to get this thing off my hands and put the money to better use.

Then I don't hear from him for almost a week. I reach out and he asks if I can drive it up the next day. I let him know that I would be driving during peak traffic and wouldn't get there until after dark. Then he decides to throw a fit about how he needs daylight to inspect the car. Uhm, excuse me, wasn't that already handled when your mechanic came to look at it?

Fortunately, the same day I got an offer for $8200 for someone local and as soon as I had the cash in hand, I text him that I sold it to someone else and have a nice day. He proceeds to bombard me with texts calling me a b*tch and a piece of sh*t and that I've ruined his daughter's life.

I just... damn, man. I later found out that claiming you're buying stuff for your kid is a common tactic to get people to undercut themselves on pricing. I'm glad I backed out of it and only lost a couple of hours dealing with him and his mechanic. Made me never want to own a car again so I don't have to deal with CL people on such a big money item.

PrairieBeardstache

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Re: Craigslist People Baffle Me Sometimes
« Reply #49 on: December 11, 2018, 08:14:37 AM »
Guy asks me if I'll take $7500 for it. I say nah, $8000 minimum. He goes on and on about how this is for his daughter for college and her heart is set on it, he only has $7500, yada yada yada. After a lot of begging, I agree to $7800. He then asks if I'll drive it 3/4 of the way to him. The thought makes my skin crawl, but I'm anxious to get this thing off my hands and put the money to better use.

I recently decided to sell some computer parts on Kijiji (Canadian Craigslist). It's been a very eye-opening experience. It's now very easy to tell who to avoid and how to deal with them and who to do business with. Reasonable people who end up following through are very easy to deal with, they ask simple but important questions and set a time to meet/exchange, price negotiations are also very simple and straightforward. I've sold a few things and it's gone smoothly with these kinds of people.

The red flags are easy to spot because there's two that seem reasonable-ish but are always a problem: low-ball offers and "special requests" (buy through PayPal, deliver to their place, etc. etc.). The response is simple: don't reply, wait for a reasonable person.

With the above I'm having fun, I don't _need_ to sell the stuff, I'd be happy if it went to a reasonable person for a reasonable price. Everyone else can bugger off.