CNN Money article on wedding travel...

[teacherman]

Hi all,

I came across this article today and immediately thought you all would enjoy it:) Perhaps you've seen it. I just *love* the way that this is seen as a real social problem! $10,000 in travel expenses on your credit card! 

http://money.cnn.com/2013/05/10/pf/wedding-debt/index.html?hpt=hp_t3

[MsSindy]

I do like that the etiquette person said that you're not obligated to attend if you can't afford it.
"It's your budget, and nobody should ever get upset with you about your budget," she said. ....and I would add, if they do, then go tell them to "pound sand".

Still, Sledzik says being there for his friends was worth the money. 
"It's one of those things that at first I had to mentally justify, saying, 'Am I really going to take on debt at a time in my life when I really don't want to?'" he said. "But the memories that I made and being there for friends' big moments was worth it." 

I just see this as a form of lifestyle inflation.  Basically it was an excuse to travel.  Life will always be about making trade-off decisions and sometimes those decisions won't please everyone - oh well, too bad.  If someone is going to get pissed off at me because I didn't spend a couple grand to travel to their party, then it's not someone I need in my life.

[kikichewie]

We just missed a good friend's wedding in Argentina.  They live in Florida now, but met when they were both living in BA.  I'm really sad that we missed it, but our budget and the timing wouldn't allow it.  It would have been an amazing experience with lots of memories, but sometimes you just have to say no.

[citrine]

LOL!  When we got married, we found a venue the next town over so we would not have to make our guests travel too much (or ourselves!).  I cannot understand this destination wedding stuff and some brides have the audacity to get upset if their guests do not make it to their wedding in another country!  We used the extra monies to go to Italy/Mediterranean Cruise instead!

[CanuckStache]

What an idiot this guy is. How about you tell your friends you're not made of money and stop feeling obligated to please everybody? If they're really friends, they'll understand.

$10k in credit card debt for OTHER people's weddings! Insane.

[iris lily]

Nope, others won't determine where I go on vacation or how much I'll spend. I'd be bored out of my mind and a multi-day Carribbean wedding, the typical beach wedding. But a Paris wedding--I might attend that. I could see that being fun.

[thefrugaltwo]

Did you guys see where it says "Related: Average wedding bill $30,000"? Oh man, as if the ridiculousness of engagement rings wasn't insane enough.

[mpbaker22]

Went to a wedding in Connecticut in May (From Missouri).  Total thing probably cost probably about $600 including the gift.  I figure that's the maximum one should spend on a wedding.  I drove there and slept in a car while traveling.  I even splurged and stayed in the Hilton for two nights.

Part of the reason for driving was the cost of renting a car before age 25, but I don't know how people spend more than $1000 on an average wedding.  I've had a place to stay for all 4 weddings I went to in 2012, so they cost probably slightly less than $1000 in total (rented two tuxes plus gifts).  I think tuxes are the biggest scam in weddings.  I plan on either wearing a suit, or at least BUYING suits that groomsmen can keep and wear again.

[Joet]

I always seem to make the weddings for my buddies in Hawaii or California, but rarely anywhere else. Strange.

[MgoSam]

I sympathize with how hard this situation can be. One of my closest friends is getting married in Belgium next year. It's not just the costs that get to me, but the time factor as it is really hard to leave work for more than a few days. It is a small company, so when someone isn't in, everyone else has to pick up the slack (thankfully we are looking to hire but it isn't as easy as people think).

[Reepekg]

Part of the reason for driving was the cost of renting a car before age 25, but I don't know how people spend more than $1000 on an average wedding.  I've had a place to stay for all 4 weddings I went to in 2012, so they cost probably slightly less than $1000 in total (rented two tuxes plus gifts).  I think tuxes are the biggest scam in weddings.  I plan on either wearing a suit, or at least BUYING suits that groomsmen can keep and wear again.

mpbaker, at your <25 age I can highly recommend buying a good tux. MMM is all for the math of saving money by getting quality that will last. I was one of the first of my group of friends to get married, and I bought my tux mostly because I wanted formal black tie. It was like $400, but now that everyone and their brother has been getting married the past few years (I have 6 weddings this summer alone), I came out way ahead of renting. Bonus is that you look better in a tailored tux than a rented one.

[sonofczar]

My wife and I went to Vegas and got married.  We told our family what we were doing, and they could come if they wanted, but we were doing it with them there or not, and there definitely wasn't any obligation or pressure for anyone to attend.  The trip for a week, and the wedding cost us about $2000 all in cost (we live in Canada).  Much cheaper than if we stayed at home and had a wedding, plus less hassle.  A couple of my wife's relatives said when we got back that they wished we would have had it at home so they could have come.  I told them I'd gladly be willing to renew my vows if they wanted to pay for another ceremony to attend.  That was the end of that discussion.

[mpbaker22]

mpbaker, at your <25 age I can highly recommend buying a good tux. MMM is all for the math of saving money by getting quality that will last. I was one of the first of my group of friends to get married, and I bought my tux mostly because I wanted formal black tie. It was like $400, but now that everyone and their brother has been getting married the past few years (I have 6 weddings this summer alone), I came out way ahead of renting. Bonus is that you look better in a tailored tux than a rented one.

I wear a suit I bought specifically for interviews to weddings unless I'm part of the wedding party, in which case a matching tux is usually the norm.  Buying a new tux wouldn't really help the renting problem.  The problem is people expecting their friends to rent tuxes, something I will not require at my wedding!

[russianswinga]

We just got married in Vegas this February. Just my immediate family, her mom, and a great weened between us all. We insisted that our wedding not involve people outside the immediate family - we have / will celebrate with friends individually as we visit them and they visit us throughout our travels.

Wedding expenses: Chapel at the top of the Stratosphere on 107th floor, limo to and from lunch, elaborate lunch at Zefferino at the Venitian, photo ops at Caesar's, Bellagio, Venetian, and elaborate dinner with wine pairings at Top of the World restaurant on the 109th floor of Stratosphere.

Dress was $200, custom-made on jjshouse.com
I already owned my tux for ballroom dancing
My brother was the photographer - I own an SLR and a couple good lenses, and I rented a professional flash for the weekend.
Total cost for 7 people, including 2 rooms and 1 suite for 3 nights, and airfare for 4 from California (Fiancee's mom paid for her own ticket from Russia) - under $3000. That's 3K, not 30.

I'd say that was pretty mustachian.

[MsSindy]

Hubby and I went down to the County Clerk on our lunch hour and got married.... then went back to work!  He was wearing a NOMEX suit and we didn't even have rings, then.  Total cost was about $20 for the license.  That was 22 years ago and we never regretted it.  Some family members were upset, but we've always made our decisions based on what's best for us.

I do understand people's desire to have a memorable wedding day, but it just wasn't all that important to us.  I was Mustachian back then and didn't even know it!  Not sure what happened to those decades in-between, but hey, I'm back on track now!

[DoubleDown]

Congratulations and nice pix russianswinga!

russianswinga -- Andre --  Valentina -- so, you're saying you're French...

[russianswinga]

Andrei and Valentina - we're both Russian.