I have a dirty secret—I don’t know if I’ve ever *really* been a mustachian. More like a mustache-wearing chameleon. I adopted the mustachian ways when it was aligned with my life-goals—to amass wealth, to the point where my investments would outrun my own contributions. But the bike-riding, car-mocking, splurge-shaming mustachian that thrives on discomfort? Not really, if I’m honest with myself.
I’ve avoided this forum for a while now, mostly out of some sort of misguided internal conflict. (Search for threads on me and you’ll find at least one where I confess my consumer lust for an Apple Watch, yet another where I helped create a highly-used financial dashboard). My spouse and I plugged along, saving at an enormous rate, but also dipping into plenty of consumer luxuries. And all the while, the investment wealth piled up. Add in a serious (and ongoing) health crisis and we’ve turned our attention from “how quickly can we be financially independent” to “What do we want life to look like, frugal or not?”.
The answers to those two questions are different. This leads me to suspect that I’m not a true believer. I’m an apostate.
We’ve accomplished the biggest financial milestone a normal person could think of. If we wanted to, we could trim our lifestyle and be done with it. But…I don’t actually want that. I’ve lived frugality for a decade, and, despite trying, I really didn’t care for the frugal life. I didn’t find pleasure in denying myself the little things (aside from the initial novelty of it). I enjoyed the accomplishment of hitting milestones, the novelty of the frugal challenge, and (shamefully) the quiet sense of superiority I lorded over others in my thoughts. I’m not proud of that, but it’s true.
My spouse shares similar thoughts on our last decade-plus.
So now what? We are charting our own course.
I like my job. A lot. It’s stressful at times, and that stress is something I would rather do without, but the trade off is worth it for the next 5-10 years. The job is 100% remote, and I’m young (late 30s). We live in Indiana, and we have family we love and with whom we have cherished relationships. We want these people in our children’s lives. We also absolutely despise Midwest weather for 6+ months out of the year. Despite year after year of taking multiple-week trips away during the worst of Jan-Feb, it’s not enough. In fact, the aforementioned health crisis was exacerbated by sunlight deficiency. So, we’ve signed a contract to purchase a second home in Phoenix and will split time. Is it mustachian? Not by my understanding. Is it the life (and health, hopefully) we know we value enough to make the trade off? It is.
And maybe that’s my point in this—I’m looking for acceptance (ironically in the anti-mustachian wall of shame and comedy). I’m primarily looking for affirmation that I’m not alone in graduating from the initial class of mustache into—-something else. Something bespoke that is driven by our own values, rather than “the cult”.
Perhaps I’ll take the face punches, but if you’re in a similar place, know that I understand. Know that I’m in your corner—it’s your life. You get to decide what you value, and you have the freedom to pursue those values wholeheartedly.
It’s ok to chart your own course.
