"Bicycles are for Suckers and the Dead"

[Wennnz]

So, Jezebel just posted this article:

http://jezebel.com/bicycles-are-for-suckers-and-the-dead-1786716376

I'm aware that it's probably mostly for comedy and I take everything from (formerly?) Gawker Media with a grain of salt, but this really grinds my gears (pun intended?), especially since the headline uses the vaguely-Mustachianese "sucker."

The author and commenters are the real suckas.

[Miss Piggy]

I don't really get the point of the article. But regarding the comments... There are definitely some asshat cyclists out there. I try not to be one of them.

[Wennnz]

The way I see it, there's always asshats doing whatever thing it is that you're doing, too. The best advice is to just not be an asshat.

That includes driving a car!

[The Guru]

I agree with the article. The way that roving bands of cyclists, often by the dozen -or more!- have intimidated the millions of honest, law-abiding, laser-focused drivers of 3500 pound plus vehicles is an outrage! I for one am sick and tired of having to turn that circular thingie in front of me to avoid one, only to arrive at work 5 seconds later than I intended! Who in the hell do they think they are to do "something they enjoy"- much less " save money". Why can't they just be like everyone else? This is America, dammit!

 How dare they!

<sarcasm>

[meghan88]

Haters gonna hate.

Gonna hop on my bike and laugh all the way to the bank.

[Stachey]

Just saw the subject line of this thread and the image of a dead person on a bike made me laugh.
Would probably have to be stretched out on a tandem bike I figure.  Arms crossed.  Few flowers.
No the image isn't going away.

[SisterX]

Just saw the subject line of this thread and the image of a dead person on a bike made me laugh.
Would probably have to be stretched out on a tandem bike I figure.  Arms crossed.  Few flowers.
No the image isn't going away.

Biking at Bernie's?

My favorite comment has got to be the one about how much bikes cost. "And they don't even come with kickstands!" Hahahahaha!!!! Someone else responded, "Or handlebar tassels."

I, too, am confused by the point of the article, other than, "Cyclists are all assholes who are either going to get hit, or deserve to get hit. Often both." Excellent point, and very well made, I'm sure.

And yet, I'm unmoved to stop my disreputable bike-riding ways.

[Miss Piggy]

My favorite comment has got to be the one about how much bikes cost. "And they don't even come with kickstands!" Hahahahaha!!!! Someone else responded, "Or handlebar tassels."

Who in their right mind would buy a bike without handlebar tassels? I mean...that in and of itself is facepunch worthy. If you're not getting the tassels, what ARE you getting for your money?  And another thing...is it tassels, or tassles?

[GuitarStv]

The final line of the article appears to cut to the crux of the problem that this lady has with bicycles.  A cyclist once refused to take her home on his bike.  Given the quality of her reasoning and communications abilities one can only speculate what motivated this shunning. . .

[TheGrimSqueaker]

The final line of the article appears to cut to the crux of the problem that this lady has with bicycles.  A cyclist once refused to take her home on his bike.  Given the quality of her reasoning and communications abilities one can only speculate what motivated this shunning. . .

Simple: the rack wasn't big enough.

Either his bike's cargo rack couldn't support her weight because she was too hefty, or he's a boob man and she didn't have the looks to make all that extra pedaling worthwhile.

[ginastarke]

My favorite comment: "like bringing a donkey to the Kentucky Derby" My old Crossroads is more of a mule, but I prefer mules to high-strung Arabian  horses any day!

[One Noisy Cat]

My favorite comment has got to be the one about how much bikes cost. "And they don't even come with kickstands!" Hahahahaha!!!! Someone else responded, "Or handlebar tassels."

Who in their right mind would buy a bike without handlebar tassels? I mean...that in and of itself is facepunch worthy. If you're not getting the tassels, what ARE you getting for your money?  And another thing...is it tassels, or tassles?

And no one puts baseball cards in the spokes of their wheels like we did as kids. Too many people trying to find the next Honus Wagner tobacco card.

[meghan88]

Check out all the nasty comments to this story about a guy who tied a pool noodle to his bike to try to earn himself some space on the road:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/toronto-bike-commuters-cool-pool-noodle-hack-153608919.html

IMO, the only thing that pool noodle is missing is a nice big metal spike or claw on the end of it.

[Jack]

Check out all the nasty comments to this story about a guy who tied a pool noodle to his bike to try to earn himself some space on the road:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/toronto-bike-commuters-cool-pool-noodle-hack-153608919.html

IMO, the only thing that pool noodle is missing is a nice big metal spike or claw on the end of it.

My question is, for jurisdictions with a three-foot law, does using a noodle mean drivers are legally required to stay three feet away from the end of the noodle?

[meghan88]

Check out all the nasty comments to this story about a guy who tied a pool noodle to his bike to try to earn himself some space on the road:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/toronto-bike-commuters-cool-pool-noodle-hack-153608919.html

IMO, the only thing that pool noodle is missing is a nice big metal spike or claw on the end of it.

My question is, for jurisdictions with a three-foot law, does using a noodle mean drivers are legally required to stay three feet away from the end of the noodle?

LOL ... nope, I'm sure it means three feet from the bike.  I just wish we could all get along on the roads ... hopefully things will improve once driverless cars are the norm, but I suspect they might even get worse in some ways.

[GuitarStv]

Check out all the nasty comments to this story about a guy who tied a pool noodle to his bike to try to earn himself some space on the road:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/toronto-bike-commuters-cool-pool-noodle-hack-153608919.html

IMO, the only thing that pool noodle is missing is a nice big metal spike or claw on the end of it.

My question is, for jurisdictions with a three-foot law, does using a noodle mean drivers are legally required to stay three feet away from the end of the noodle?

LOL ... nope, I'm sure it means three feet from the bike.  I just wish we could all get along on the roads ... hopefully things will improve once driverless cars are the norm, but I suspect they might even get worse in some ways.

That man is my hero.  It is very rare to get three feet of space while cycling around Toronto.

[One Noisy Cat]

One thing I have to say about the sheer stupidity of bicyclists in my area is that at least 95% of them in my neighborhood ride their bikes at night or pre dawn without any lights, save the poorly working red reflector behind the seat. People, please, get some battery powered white lights for the front and red for the rear. Wear reflective clothing. Don't make yourself a casualty. Lights are a lot cheaper than a casket.

[meghan88]

Not really on topic, but I want one of these bike locks:  https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/oct/21/bike-lock-developed-that-makes-thieves-immediately-vomit?CMP=fb_gu

[mm1970]

One thing I have to say about the sheer stupidity of bicyclists in my area is that at least 95% of them in my neighborhood ride their bikes at night or pre dawn without any lights, save the poorly working red reflector behind the seat. People, please, get some battery powered white lights for the front and red for the rear. Wear reflective clothing. Don't make yourself a casualty. Lights are a lot cheaper than a casket.

Yup, we just bought some because it's starting to get dark when we bike.  (Right now on the way home, soon on the way in too.)

[MandalayVA]

One thing I have to say about the sheer stupidity of bicyclists in my area is that at least 95% of them in my neighborhood ride their bikes at night or pre dawn without any lights, save the poorly working red reflector behind the seat. People, please, get some battery powered white lights for the front and red for the rear. Wear reflective clothing. Don't make yourself a casualty. Lights are a lot cheaper than a casket.

There's a guy on a bike in my neighborhood whom I've nicknamed Christmas Tree because he's COVERED in lights.  I have literally seen him coming from half a mile away.   

[dougules]

One thing I have to say about the sheer stupidity of bicyclists in my area is that at least 95% of them in my neighborhood ride their bikes at night or pre dawn without any lights, save the poorly working red reflector behind the seat. People, please, get some battery powered white lights for the front and red for the rear. Wear reflective clothing. Don't make yourself a casualty. Lights are a lot cheaper than a casket.

A big underlying problem is that nobody bikes, so nobody knows how to bike whether that be lights, hand signals, road not sidewalk, or whatever.  If more people were on the road, I think that good habits would spread.  It won't solve the asshat problem of course, but at least half of it is just out of not knowing better. 

[meghan88]

Check out all the nasty comments to this story about a guy who tied a pool noodle to his bike to try to earn himself some space on the road:

https://ca.news.yahoo.com/toronto-bike-commuters-cool-pool-noodle-hack-153608919.html

IMO, the only thing that pool noodle is missing is a nice big metal spike or claw on the end of it.

My question is, for jurisdictions with a three-foot law, does using a noodle mean drivers are legally required to stay three feet away from the end of the noodle?

LOL ... nope, I'm sure it means three feet from the bike.  I just wish we could all get along on the roads ... hopefully things will improve once driverless cars are the norm, but I suspect they might even get worse in some ways.

That man is my hero.  It is very rare to get three feet of space while cycling around Toronto.

I think three feet of space is an unattainable aspiration no matter where you bike.  Kitchener-Waterloo is rife with haters, even if (maybe even because) we have sharrows in most of the downtown areas now.

[The Guru]

Sounds just like my home town.

One thing I have to say about the sheer stupidity of bicyclists in my area is that at least 95% of them in my neighborhood ride their bikes at night or pre dawn without any lights, save the poorly working red reflector behind the seat. People, please, get some battery powered white lights for the front and red for the rear. Wear reflective clothing. Don't make yourself a casualty. Lights are a lot cheaper than a casket.

....which drivers can't see anyway since they're riding against traffic....